Queensland

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So the plan was to pick up my camper van and just start driving south down the East Coast of Australia. I used my trusty Lonely Planet guide to tell me if there was anything that might interest me in the next few days of driving before I'd head out that day. I knew that Australia was big, roughly the size of the US or Europe, but the driving has seemed to take longer than I had anticipated. Partially because my camper van has the aerodynamics of a brick wall, and partially because I have been advised not to drive at night. This is when the roos, and the casoways in the north, like to come out and stare at your headlights. All well and good when you are driving a big semi (lorry for you Brits), but not so great when there is no crunch zone ahead of your windshield. In comparison, I'm almost following the east coast of the US; from the top of Maine down to Miami. I've got almost 2 months though, so plenty of time.

I picked up my Wicked Camper Van in Cairns. I first saw the Wicked Vans in New Zealand. They are just as popular in Oz if not more. Their business is unique in that they thrive on using old worn down vans which are converted into very basic camper vans; think a few foam pads in the back for a bed as well as a sink, cooler, and propane camping burner. They are very cheap, and don't have many stipulations. You can drive unlimited kilometers and they don't even mind if you bring it back with a few dents. This is probably because they can't keep track of all the dents that began with the vans. To make themselves stand out, and to hide the dents, they have spray paint artists paint the vans. Most of them are really cool and a bit edgy and some are quite funny. There's a video on their website of an artist painting one of them (sped up over elapsed time). It's quite impressive. The couple before me got one with a gingerbread man and woman cookie painted on the side who were "buttering each other's bread", if ya know what I mean.

Mine was a bit less artistic though. It just had 2 separate quotes spraypainted on the side from some guy named Reg Regan, who I assumed must be well known throughout Australia. I read the one quote on the driver's side, which wasn't particularly that funny, but I am still new to the Aussie sense of humor. I didn't read the other side until a few days later and it turned out to be a long tirade which somehow accused people who prefered cats to dogs of favouring homosexuality. Not only was it unfunny, but rather disturbing and pretty offensive to some people (not to mention cats). I don't really like cats myself, but I don't see the need to bring someone's sexuality into it. Turns out Reg is an ex Rugby player who has a television show and Reg Regan is his alter ego on the show who kinda sounds a bit like what we would call a redneck back in the states. His character is probably well known; although I did have to ask a fair few Aussies before I discovered who he was. Anywho, I didn't feel comfortable driving this thing around so I arranged for a swap, but it would have to wait until Brisbane. I wouldn't know which one I was getting until I arrived at their office. So for about 2 weeks I had to drive down the coast watching as people shot me dirty looks as I stopped at intersections. Thanks Wicked Vans! The most disturbing thing though, was I didn't really hear anyone come up and complain to me about the van. If anything, some started to chuckle once they realized who Reg Regan was.

After stocking up the cooler with some supplies in Cairns and filling up the tank with petrol, I was off on my great Australian road trip in my homophobic van. I've always enjoyed driving and there is something about going down an unknown road with the window open and the radio blasting the jabberings of local DJs that relaxes me. Thanks to my time in Scotland I am completely adept to driving a manual transmission on the left hand side of the road. One thing that did catch me off guard though, was the placement of the indicator lever. It's on the right side of the steering column over here, so for the first day or two I was constantly turning on the windshield wipers as I tried to change lanes.

Not long after leaving Cairns those windshield wipers would turn out to be pretty important. The monsoon rains were coming down again, and darkness was quickly approaching. There were already reports of road flooding further south, but it was a few days away and I was hoping it would clear by the time I had to drive through. I made it about 2 hours away from Cairns before I found a place to stop near Mission Beach. I found a nice hostel which would allow me to park on their campgrounds so I could sleep in my van and use all of their facilities. I was there not more than 5 minutes before I managed to get the van stuck in some marshy grass. I had to get the owner to pull me out with his 4X4 before I sunk in any further. Nice one Jason!

The hostel was kind of in the middle of nowhere amongst the woods but it still had a lively group of people in the lounge. One of the things I quickly noticed while driving at night is the sheer darkness of everything. There isn't much traffic in the north and, unless your headlights are shinning on it, you are not seeing it. When I go to check my mirrors, it's as if they are not there. I'm used to seeing something in the distance; a street light, distant headlights, something. But nothing was visible, and this was on the main highway in Northern Queensland! The radio stations are few and far between as well. It is difficult to locate a station which plays music sometimes, however there always seems to be a station that announces the results of horse races. How odd.

At the hostel I met a guy Johnny, from Wigan, who sounded just like Peter Kay (British Comedian) and a British couple Mark and Carlie, who I would end up traveling with for a bit. They were both from Shenfield / Brentwood in Essex and seemed surprised that some American would know where it is. I guess all those months at Ford in Brentwood was actually coming in handy for once.

The road conditions did not look favorable so I just hung out at the hostel for another day. One of the towns that I had to drive through, Mackay, was completely flooded and unreachable from the roads. It had received its yearly annual rainfall in the matter of six hours. I had to pass through it, but it was still a few days away. Mark and Carlie went ahead, but I caught up with them the next day in Townsville by leaving early. We followed each other and after carefully crossing 2 flooded roads, we decided to stay the night in Bowen. There's not much to say about Bowen except that it happens to be near a mining town called Collinsville, which is the same name as the town that my mom is from in Illinois.

I thought we would be stuck there for days, but luckily by morning, the rain has stopped and just as suddenly, the sun was out. We had been checking road conditions daily over the phone and it appeard that the roads around Mackay were passable, so we headed out. Mark and Carlie separated and went to Arile Beach for a trip out to the Whitsundays Islands. I had written off the Whitsundays at this point. I figured the weather would not be agreeable, and I feared getting trapped in Arlie Beach. I didn't want to spend a week stranded, so I drove to pass Mackay. The roads were clear from that point on.

I ended up camping in Eungella National Park. This was my first true campsite for the van. Eungella is located just a bit inland from Mackay and up in the mountains where you enter a rainforest. The weather changes were dramatic. It would be bright and sunny and all of a sudden you would drive into a wall of rainwater only to drive into bright sunlight just as suddenly. I could actually see the little columns of rain coming down from the clouds as I drove up the mountain. Eungella is well known for platypus spotting and I was not to be disappointed. The best time to see them is at dawn and dusk. The sun was just about to set and I found a popular lookout point over a muddy river. I was just about to give up when one surfaced for a few seconds. After that I saw another playing by the nearby bank. They are much smaller than I thought. I was expecting the size of a beaver, but they are probably less than 2 feet long. They look kinda cute, but as with most animals in Australia, they have little barbs in their back legs that are poisonous.

The next day I made it down to Yeppoon and located a nice caravan park right on the beach. I found an animal sanctuary and got to meet my first kangaroos and koala bears. The kangaroos are great fun and you can feed them right out of your hand. And feed them you better because they will just grab your hand and try to open the bag of food themselves! They are kind of spooky when they first come up to you because they have an intense look in their eye, and you're not quite sure if they are going to pounce or not.

Yeppoon is the jumping off point for Great Keppel Island. It is supposed to be close to the same quality as the Whitsundays Islands, so I thought I would make a trip to try some snorkeling. I ended up going out there on a sailboat. The captain and co-captain where a married couple who do tours on their own boat. It was my first time on a sailboat and I was pretty inquisitive about what all the ropes and controls did. I found it all kind of fascinating. The water unfortunately had not settled yet from all the flooding, so my snorkeling visibility was seriously limited. It was fun just to be on the boat though. They treated us to a great lunch on board. On the way back, we had about 19 nots of wind, which made for great sailing. The captain even let me take the controls for a bit. I had no idea what I was doing, but we didn't capsize, so I must have been doing something right. The water started to get a bit choppy at the end and I was glad to set foot on land at the end of it.

Yeppoon is close to Rockhampton, which is kind of a dump, but I had to stick around there. Why, you might ask? Well, I had heard on the radio that a tribute band for a certain AC / DC band was going to be playing that weekend, and I couldn't be in Australia and not hear some AC / DC! The band's name was ACCA DACCA , and they advertised a tribute to Bon Scott; the legendary front man for AC / DC who tragically left us in a "death by misadventure" in the 1980s. The guy who played Angus was awesome! He had the style and the moves down. He even got on Bon's shoulder's to play guitar as they moved around the room. Classic! Thankfully, his guitar was louder than the singer's voice who was more like a poor Brian Johnson than a tribute to Bon Scott. I managed to convince 2 Aussie girls at the hostel to come and learn about their culture as they were not familiar with the classical works of AC / DC. I don't think they were too impressed though as they left after just a few songs.

My next big destination was Hervey Bay so that I could head out to Fraser Island. Fraser is a world heritage site and is the largest sand island in the world. If you are imagining a chunk of sand with a single palm tree, you would be way off. Fraser is 123 kilometers long and is densely populated with rain forests, sand dunes, and freshwater lakes. The water in the lakes is crystal clear and tastes great too! I went on an organized tour that lasted for 3 days and 2 nights. I was surprised to see so many trees thriving in sand, but they grew straighter than any other trees I have ever seen. The British used to log the trees here because of their ability to resist water damage over time. Because of this, they were used for building ships and for pylons in docks. In fact, the pylons used in the docklands of London where I used to live were constructed with trees from Fraser Island.

Travel on the island is limited to 4X4 vehicles only. Our guide and driver, Graham, was able to navigate the narrow sandy trails remarkably well in our large all terrain bus, although we did have to get out and push a few times. Graham was also a forest ranger and was able to give us insight into all of the animals and vegetation around us. He even picked out a few things from the forest that we could taste.

Fraser is also well known for their dingos. Dingos look like dogs, but are actually more closely related to wolves. They lack the vocal cords to bark, and instead howl. Although dingos have been known to attack children, they generally leave adults alone as long as you don't corner them. Feeding them is a big no no as well. Fines in the thousands of dollars can be handed out if you are caught feeding them. If dingos become accustomed to getting food from humans, they may become aggressive to humans, and then need to be put down. Because of its remote location, Fraser's dingos are very pure. No dogs are allowed on the island, so they have not had the chance to cross breed. We came across a dingo on our way to one of the freshwater lakes. Rather than intimidating, he looked like he wanted to come and play for a bit. I resisted the urge to play fetch with him though.

By surprise, I ran into Mark and Carlie on the last day of my Fraser Island experience. They had caught up to me and we were both headed to Noosa Head the next day. I liked Noosa. It kind of reminded me a bit of Newport Beach, but smaller. It had a trendy street, Hastings Street, with all the fu-fu cafes and restaurants. But best of all, it had perfect waves to learn surfing! I took a lesson and was doing well enough that the instructor let me practice on my own while he helped the others. I have a long way to go before I can graduate to a smaller board from the big foam one I was practicing on.

Here is something completely random. While I was in Noosa, I shared a hostel room with an English guy named Sean and a Canadian girl named Kendra! What are the odds of me sharing a room with people of the same name as my brother and sister?! I've met a few Sean's on my travels, but have only encountered a few Kendra's in my entire life. I even had the bottom bunk and Sean had the top just like when we were kids.

From Noosa, I headed down to Brisbane, or Brizzy as the locals call it. Kelly, an old colleague of mine from London, lives there with her husband Rob, newborn son Zac, and very large playful dog Buda. I hadn't seen Kelly in years and it was nice to catch up. They graciously put me up for the night and I got to feast on Rob's excellent BBQ skills. Once in Brizzy, I could finally exchange my offensive wicked van for another one. My new van is black and covered in florescent Playboy Bunny logos. A definate improvement, but it left me wondering if they had gotten word of my costume in New Zealand.

My next stop was the Australian Zoo, legacy to the late Steve Irwin; aka The Crockodile Hunter. The zoo focuses on Australian wildlife although there are recent expansions to turn it into a world zoo. It's a nice enough zoo which really caters to children, but I don't think it was worth the $50 entry. The center of the park is the Crocoseum where Steve used to entertain adults and children alike by feeding live crocodiles in front of the audience. Some of the crocks were caught by Steve himself in his early days in the 80's. Steve is not with us anymore, but his memory lives on. His picture is everywhere in the park and the videos of him can almost make you forget he has passed on. There is a touching memorial to him of a line of safari shirts strung up, each covered with best wishes from his fans.

I didn't realize how crazy Steve really was until after I watched some of his interview tapes. In his younger days he used to live in the bush. He would head out to "rescue" some problem crocs from rivers and marshes. He would head out in his small metal boat with just an outboard motor, a mounted video camera, a net, and his trusty dog. He would set traps for these crocs and after they were caught in the net, he would jump on them and tie them up, and roll them into his boat. Most of the time he was on his own and with no backup. Crocs can live up to 80 years I think and some of the ones he captured were around 10 feet long. The zoo was originaly set up by his father and his wife has taken over management. I guess his dad and wife do not get along and 2 days before I visited, his dad published a very public resignation in the national newspaper.

Not everyone in Australia is as fond of Steve as most of my college mates and me were when we used to watch his show. Now that he is gone, some have just now come to realize all of what he did for Australia. Steve didn't just an awareness to animals, but was activley involved in conservation. He helped protect the animals that others would happily have seen go away and in doing so was able to educate and enlighten the minds of not just Aussies, but people worldwide.

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Photos

Wicked Van Pickup
Here I am in my new Wicked Van. Haven't even bothered to read it yet.

Baking Cookies
I think I missed this van by a few minutes.

Eungella National Park
Here's my van overlooking the the misty wonder of Eungella. See if you can read the offensive quote.

Platapuss
I managed to squeeze off a quick shot of this guy playing next to the bank.

Leaving Eungella
Check out the view from here!

Don't make any sudden moves...
Here are the kangaroos as they slowly approach. They've got that crazy look in their eyes.

Feeding Time
I'm not sure what those little food pellets were made out of, but those roos couldn't get enough of it.

Pocket Size
This little joey is just along for the ride.

Cocatoo
These guys have a really loud squak, but they can easily mimic a human voice. Quite playful as well.

My New Favorite Rum
"Bundy", as it is affectionately called, is not the name of a certain Polk High Football player who scored 4 touchdowns in a single game, but rather the special rum that comes out of Bundaberg. You'll have to look hard to find it in the states though. It is only shipped to a handful of countries.

Lake McKenzie
Is that a mirror or a lake behind me????

Oceanside at Fraser Island
Here is a view of the pacific over the random rocks on the beach at Fraser Island

Fraser Island ATV
Here's the bus that took us all over Fraser by gliding over the sand....most of the time.

Shipwreck
This ship, a whaling vessel I think, was beached years ago on Fraser and has been rusting away ever since. It was built in the shipyards of Glasgow.

Dingo Alert!
They just look too cuddly to be dangerous....

Tree Hugger
Some of the trees in the forests of Fraser are absolutely huge! This one is probably older than the USA.

Ranger Graham
Here's our bus driver and guide for Fraser, Graham.

Bunny hop
Here is my new wicked van. Much less controversial.

Crock Feeding
Here is one of the handlers feeding a crock at Steve Irwin's Australia Zoo in the Crock-o-seum

Koala Bears
Here are a few koalas at the Australian Zoo, which in fact are not bears but rather marsupials.

Comments

[ted]

Crocodile man
Woah, thats sweet that you went to that zoo made famous by Steve Irwin. I am not surprised alot of aussies weren't very accepting of his alternative lifestyle. The guy took it to the next level. Hey, JP did you try to crawl into a kangaroo's pouch?