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Published: September 24th 2009
well i arrived into Cairns after a long but fairly uneventful journey from Manchester. Watched a few films, didn't sleep very much as it worked out that i was travelling through the night the whole time! so when it should have been my day time, the lights were turned out etc- very disorientating!
When i got to my dorm i met a girl from the wirral called laura (travelled half the globe to meet someone from down the road!) but she was lovely and showed me where everything was- she had only arrived a few days before me. As she was leaving to stay with her cousin for a while a few days later, i thought i would book a tour. As 'On the Wallaby,' a little lodge in the Tablelands had been recommended to me by my cousin, i booked in!
The next day i was picked up in the morning by 'cousin Brad,' and actual crazy person who should not have been so hyperactive at that time in the morning! There were 10 people in the tour and everyone was really nice. We went for a day of rainforest walking and animal spotting, although there weren't many animals to be seen! The highlight of the day was Milla Milla waterfalls, where Peter Andre filmed his world-famous 'mysterious girl' video! It was also where Timotei advertised their hair products from, so with a motivational speech from cousin brad, we all jumped in and re-enacted the advert! I can honestly say i've never been so cold in my life- i think even my living room at home would have been warmer! I thought for a minute that my organs were shutting down and i couldn't speak or catch my breath, but it was worth every second! Really enjoyed it! Cousin Brad had the heaters on full blast in the van so we all got back on and went to the lodge.
The following day was not so enjoyable! Today was supposed to consist of a scenic bike ride, which had been described to me by the woman at the lodge as 'a nice, easy ride.' I think i would have to disagree with her!!!!!! It was a really hot day- well over 30 degrees, and as soon as we got on the bikes all the men (including the tour guide!) sped off into the distance not to be seen for a long while! Being told it was a scenic bike ride i had my big digital SLR camera and a huge jumper on my back (in case it got cold- ha!) there was, however no opportunity to take photos or even stop at any point- i thought i'd signed up for a bike ride, not Tour De France!! After 10 miles of cycling (UPHILL!) we went back to the lodge for a nap before the afternoon canoeing. As there were 3 girls and 3 boys, we were paired up with the opposite sex, as this was supposed to be 'easier!' this is also debatable- after the most excercise i've done in 10 years that morning i had no strength or energy left, so canoeing was a challenge! To add insult to injury, i was paired with a french boy who did nothing but moan 'why was i put with the english girl, english people can't do anything?!' 'why are the french so arrogant and horrible?!' i snapped back haha! we then began an hour session of bickering, which actually turned out to be quite funny and he asked me for a drink and carried my backpack for me so it turned out quite well!!
I arrived back into Cairns later on that day and met up with a girl i met on the tour, natasha, who i'm still with now! We went to use the internet the next day at the same time that a job workshop was running, so i went to have a look. It was there that i was offered a job in an outback pub, in Chillagoe, 3 hours inland from Cairns. It was $300 per week with free food and accommodation, so i took it. i thought it would be a chance to meet some real local Australians, and would be a slightly different experience to have than everyone else. I was picked up at mid-day by a lad that works there occasionally. I wondered why he was driving bare-foot- it turns out that he had lost his shoes (!) the day before so we had to make a detour to the shopping centre on the way! We then had to swap cars, so we went to his house so he could pick up the huge van that was owned by the pub. It was full to the top with booze (or piss as he called it, which i found amusing!) as they had to do a run to cairns once a week to pick up the supplies. The van had no air-con, no cd player, had cracks all over the front wind-shield and was so full that things kept falling on our heads!
Four hours later, we arrived at the pub- first impressions were not good! The village looked like something from an old American red-neck, cowboy film. The pub was a dump, the outside of it looked like a bin- there were bottles, rubbish, about 50 broken chairs. There was the owners step-daughter who was the boss(who didn't say 2 words to me the whole time i was there), and another girl who worked there. She was nice and showed me round and i did a few hours work with her. In which time the locals were extremely rude and patronising, and when i questioned whether we should be serving them beer when they were driving, she said that we get in trouble if we don't. After 6 hours in the place, i said i wanted to leave, and would get the bus first thing. Luckily it was a Wednesday the following day, as the buses only run once a day on a monday, wednesday and friday.
The next morning i got up at 6am, packed my things and went to get the bus. It was another really hot day and the mini-bus was tiny! There was an aboriginal woman(who stank to high heaven!) with 3 snotty faced kids who had been eating mushy banana screaming behind me. The highlight of the journey was when one of the kids reached through the seat and smeared banana gunk on my hair! i could have been sick on myself! When we got to one of the little towns, the bus driver actually had to turn people away as the bus was so full! Anyway i eventually made it back to cairns and made my way to the lagoon to meet natasha, and forget the whole thing ever happened!!
Going on to Port Douglas in the next couple of days, they have a 4 mile beach there apparantly!
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Matthew
non-member comment
Oh my God funniest stories there already and you;ve only been gone like 3 weeks! How funny. Sounds like you'll have the world to tell the Grandchildren!