Back to Sydrality

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I know, these titles are getting crapper.

Monday 19th March

Back in Sydders I decided to go-a-wonderin'. I got to Sydney Museum and have to say, not as good as Melbourne. It's like they looked at Melbourne and said "let's do a crapper version", or Melbourne looked at Sydney and said "let's do a better version". Anyway, spent a couple of hours there, looking at dinosaurs and interactive digital features that don't work before stopping out to Hyde Park which, unlike its namesake in London, is TINY. This always surprises me given the size of Australia generally that their cities and parks therein are much smaller! I also popped to St. Mary's cathedral - catholic-tastic and strangely had a sideways Jesus lying under the altar. He was post crucifixion but nevertheless seemed to be pretty chilled out taking some shade under the mid-altar. Kudos, Yeshua. I n.b.'d a Westfield so went in. It seemed fairly old so I'm reckoning Westfield began in Australia. Disappointed - I thought it was started in Shepherd's Bush, in the WEST of London, hence WESTfield. Not so. I wanted to see how far up I could go, so went the 8 shopping floors then got in a lift and pressed floor 16. When I came out a woman stopped me:

"Can I help you?"
"Yes, I'm looking for..." my eyes scanned the room and saw a sign behind her "... err, reception."
"Yes, it's just through there." And she buzzed me into a law office. It didn't strike her as odd that a boy in shorts and t-shirt should be coming for an appointment at a high powered central Sydney law firm. I had a look at the view from the 16th floor - basically the walls of other tall buildings - then decided I would leave as someone else was approaching presumably to ask me what I was doing there. If I had been Face from the A-Team I would've scammed my way in, but I'm not, and ne'er will be I should wager.

Back home we had a roast dinner. On a weekday? Yes, on a weekday.

Jimal and I popped out for a brilliant pub crawl on Glebe point road - some great venues and we managed to fit in Battleships (I won) and pool (I won).* We walked home somewhere near midnight, having to walk down a massive hill only then to walk back up a massive hill. "Why don't they fill it in and make it flat?" We lamented. Sometimes, governments are idiots.

*Yes, if I had lost then it would have been a rubbish pub crawl. I'm a small man in many ways; a small, petty man.

Tuesday 20th March

Today I went to walk from Bondi to Coogee Beach. When I eventually got to Bondi (I tried to walk the whole way with the additional challenge of not having a map and relying on directions - bad idea) it was such good weather that I thought I would catch some rays, and was careful to whack on some sun screen (Asda factor 30). Unfortunately Bondi was full of Brits, which generally meant that there was a low P.P.* due to pasty and flabby indices.

After a couple of hours I felt satisfactorily sunned, and so embarked on the walk. It was sunny, clear blue sky and all in all it was just gorgeous - idyllic, beautiful and other words indicating positive review. There was even a bowling green overlooking the pacific, if that takes your fancy (and golf, though how you retain a sliced ball from the pacific I know not), beaches of soft white sand and healthy, happy tanned people (aka not Bondi, where the brits reigned either albino or lobster).

I arrived at Coogee intending to get a bus home, and instinctively hopped on a 370, thinking that it rang a bell (WARNING: transport anecdote impending). The driver was none too friendly so I texted Jimal to ask if my instinct had been correct. It had, and he advised me that the bus route eventually follows last night's drunken walk home. But an unexpected turn by the bus caused me to panic and get off, which turned out to be erroneous. I asked a nearby woman whether she knew my destination. She did, and offered to drive me there. She may have been a rapist (didn't look like it but you never know) but I got in the car anyway, as I figured I could take her if push came to shove (literally).** I learned that her daughter was in her second year at Queen Mary University in London, and from which institution had Jimal moved from pimping up the student record system in London to replicate the same pimpage at the University of Sydney? Why, Queen Mary University, of course. Small world.

Spaghetti for dinner. I love Spaghetti, but it don't love me, so try and avoid it if you ever invite me round for dinner (I'm open to offers). It probably didn't help that Jimal and I had a 6 pack of Coopers and 2 large bags of crisps to accompany Terminator 2 (still a great film - have you seen the full version with the extra bits? Makes the more confusing parts in the final cut make more sense. Also, John Connor is supposed to be 10 in that movie! Yeah right!!), but actions have consequences, as I keep forgetting.

*Perving Potential

**Fool-hardy - she may have had a gun. I did not think of this at the time.

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