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Published: July 26th 2014
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JACKPOT PARTY TOURNEY, ANYONE? Yesterday, we wrote a silly blog to the lyrics of Viva Las Vegas. Today, we are dying from the heat of this place, unsure what to do with ourselves because at 117 (47 celsius), which is a tied record for Vegas today, it is too hot to do anything outside, even go in the pool. We attempted it this afternoon, easily found two loungers (that should have been a giveaway clue), and while at the onset we had a bit of a laugh at a couple that laid down towel stepping stones on the pool deck to get to the pool, we soon were humbled as we also ran on tiptoes shrieking because it burned so badly. Three minutes in the pool, which was more like a hot bath than a cool down, we were out, shrieking back to our loungers where we downed a can of pop without coming up for air, and swiftly relinquished our seats to the next idiots who thought they might try the same thing. My hair, which takes 3 hours to dry naturally, was dry by the time we got back into the hotel.
Now what? Go somewhere? It’s
too hot to pull on bike gear over sweaty flesh, and the thought of putting on a helmet makes me dizzy. Count me out. We could go and stand outside and wait for the shuttle down to the strip, where we could walk around in 47 degree heat. Count me out. Or we could wait for the city bus and go to some mall where we can drool over clothes that we can’t buy because we can’t transport them home. Count me out.
Thus, our only remaining choices were: gamble, eat at the buffet, or go to bed. Having fulfilled the latter two a little earlier, our only remaining choice was gamble. Oh dear. As you know, Ian and I are in the ultralight flyweight class when it comes to gambling and drinking. Why then are we in Vegas you might ask, and why have we been so many times in the past. Truly, our sole reason to pay money to come to this chaotic, frenetic exhausting place was to run the half and full marathons each year, something we love to do (or at least that’s what we convince ourselves before or after a race – don’t ask
me to repeat this statement during a race). This time, it was just a town in the way of our plans to get south. Oh, and the hotel, Southpoint, was half the price of the ridiculous, bare bones West Yellowstone lodging. I keep talking about hotel prices like I’m a cheapskate, which I’m not, rather a bargain hunter who refuses to pay full price for anything, but this was an incredible deal that we secured as usual online at the last minute. However, I digress once again.
So, back to the gambling. What are we to do. Well that’s easy. We did we what competitive people do, naturally. They compete. Unconventionally perhaps, on the Jackpot Party slot machine. I’m not sure what is more sad – that I’m admitting to this in a public blog, or that we actually did it. We had a competition, officially cemented with a handshake, sitting side by side in the smoky hotel casino littered with all kinds of life, on two Jackpot Party slot machines. We each reluctantly put $20.00 of our hard earned money into our respective machines, then said Go. Oh but not before we agreed on the rules, naturally, because
competitions have to have rules. All slot pulls could only be 5 lines at a penny each, i.e. 5c pulls. Really. On a machine whose minimum was a penny a pull to a maximum of 10 lines at 20c for $2.00 (I’m relieved I could still figure that out after three weeks away from accounting). OK, 5c pulls it is. The competition then is the person who makes the $20 last the longest is the winner (that’s a nicer way of saying the person who loses their $20 first is the loser). I know, we are SO pathetic. Remarkably, 3 hours later, Ian is the first to succumb, losing all of his $20 after several ups and downs on the profit/loss sheet. Thank god, because boredom had set in for me about an hour ago. But, I’m not going to wave the white flag in any sort of competition. Especially, because believe it or not, I had grown my $20 initial investment to $117 on 5c pulls, in itself quite astounding especially when in my world everyone knows that all slot machines are rigged in the casino’s favour. Woo hoo, an $87 profit position! That just paid for two nights
at this luxurious place. COLLECT WINNINGS. Cha Ching. High rollers LOL !! Back to bed anyone?
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