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Published: July 11th 2008
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Breinigsville, PA
Stefanie with Krystal & Katie... these girls will make you want to have kids. Greetings from an ill-lit, rarely visited quadrant of the Wal-Mart of Mitchell South Dakota
Let me give you a brief explanation of how we got here (SD) over the last 4 days or so.
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
“Dung”
... Incidentally, that’s what the better part of central Michigan smells like due to an inordinate amount of roadkill rotting in the sunshine…
PA was an easy couple of first two days, each with the promise of a night in a bed and “real” food at its end since we had relatives to visit:
Day one was uneventful and we spent the night with Kenia (Stef’s Cousin) and her husband Alex and family - I learned more about Stef’s family than I have had the time to forget. We hoped to see some Amish folk to really cement an authentic Pennsylvania experience but were disappointed. The time driving was pleasantly spent in speculation as to the extent and definitions of an “amish vacation” (modes of transportation, destinations, swimwear, lodging etc) I am quite certain that actual answers to all of those issues are much less humorous in their actuality,
so if anyone knows which resort the Amish spend their time at, please don’t ruin the fabrication that is already in my head…
Day two was icky and sticky weather wise as we crossed the entirety of PA and headed into eastern OH…thought we might get a real treat and wind up seeing a good old fashioned twister. No deal—however we got to drive through some blinding rain and all the major highways failed to provide ample drainage, so it often was reminiscent of driving through a small creek at 55mph…oddly enough there were vehicles passing us like we were standing still- I’m assuming they were vehicles since I couldn’t make out much besides billowing spray and tail lights…
We got to Shortiey’s and met my nephew who promptly misbehaved and was sent to bed…30 times…Stefanie then had the opportunity to learn more about my family than she can forget at one sitting, but I have encouraged her to keep with it in hopes it will pay off. Just kidding, sort of.
Sort of off topic but sort of not…Actually, not really. I’m not usually this spacey but I keep waiting for a Wal Mart task force
Canton, OH - Stephen & Sapphario
Joe on speaker phone with Sapphario - "Are you being bad?"
Sapphario - "... Yeah." *begins to cry*
to smite us for poaching their precious internet…Oh Al Gore if only you could have know the trouble you were unleashing on the world…
Seriously though, we’d like to take a second to thank everyone who has offered help, provisions, accommodations, “contingency plans” and of course, advice thus far. Its trite but true—we could not be doing this without your support. I think it fair to say the same to our friends and family as well who have given us the inspiration and encouragement for this undertaking. It could only be called a wild goose chase by most casual observers, yet with your support we are able to approach it with the earnest hope of living the dream, if only for a time.
I repeat myself a lot when I speak, and will do so on here too, just to be consistent. You will probably hear these sentiments echoed again and again in a variety of ways. You’ve been warned! (it is nice to know that I don’t rant incessantly though… who’d of thought?)
Anyhow, from Shortiey and Joe’s (that would be my eldest brother and his wife) in Canton OH we turned north and headed through
Michigan
Home of the company that helped me (stefanie) be conceived... General Motors. ( love you pa ) Michigan. Aside from the road kill and overabundance of American-made cars, it is a much more beautiful state than either of us had supposed. A strong high pressure system helped accentuate the well forested, rolling landscape as well…
Speaking of cars we have been averaging close to 40 mpg, using the air conditioning when necessary—setting your car at 55 (on cruise) and leaving it go really does work to improve fuel economy. Having been on the receiving end of multiple obscene gestures, (usually from truckers or people from New Jersey) however, I don’t recommend this practice to the thin-skinned.
Having briefly seen the great lakes whilst crossing the Mackinac Bridge, I must say that they really deserve their name…not being a huge fan of things aquatic (as opposed to mountains, rocks, monoliths, batholiths etc) it is a moving site to see something so vast…which does not lose its impact in a tourist setting.
We rounded Lake Michigan, passing through the Hiawatha Natn’l Forest which is just that…It was quite reminiscent of AK in terms of the solitude…It surely made me rethink my previous assertions that AK is THE last frontier. I also find it curious—er infuriating that
once you have successfully crossed from the mainland of MI onto the peninsula the price of gas jumps up by 40cents. “Hey, no one’s looking! Quick, lets rip off the three people who drive this far out into the sticks”.
Congratulations to northern Wisconsin! Upon our arrival we found that a team of leading transportation scientists recently discovered the benefits of pavement when it is applied generously to road surfaces. It is hoped that by the year 2018 nearly 100% of all WI roads will be coated with this revolutionary substance and will thusly be passable! Yeah, that’s about all I came up with from WI since we drove through it during the night. My sole impression of it was: ‘Wow. These roads suck’.
Minnesota followed- a state which seemed too bland for me to even create a misconception of—the southern part of it along I 90 is mostly prairie, with windmills and fields and fields of corn and other sundries…every now and again one can spot a cluster of trees huddled awkwardly together like hoboes around a flaming trash barrel…It’s actually a pretty state but driving its width in one day was pretty tiresome.
This leaves
Lake Michigan
From the Upper Peninsula. Very beautiful area. us in South Dakota where we will be for quite some time exploring the various State and National Parks and Monuments. Stef bought some post cards at the worlds only (if you can believe that no one took it corporate) “corn palace”—one of a myriad of blatant tourist traps in this state. It seems pretty scenic although it is very hot and seems a bit poor economically. I speculate that there is a high rate of methamphetamine use and alcoholism amongst many locals, but they seem friendly just the same. Or they’re happy drunks. Who knows. I don’t have much patience for tourons (morons+tourists) or trinkets and beads so I will most likely comment on such business ventures from afar with characteristic disdain.
Til the next installment,
SR
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Christie
non-member comment
WOW I'm jealous!! I can't believe I missed out on the world's only corn palace!! You're cracking me up. Keep up the blog!!