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Published: August 26th 2009
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Philomena
"I like to eat wrapping paper" I'm going to California in a week. By going I mean visiting, and moving. I am checking it out for an undetermined amount of time. Even in this bad economy, when California is bankrupt and has no jobs, I am going. It is a perfect time to see what I'm really made of.
When I first came back to Syracuse I was expecting to stay for only a few months tops, and get the hell out, on to bigger and better things. Well, it's almost a year later. I didn't walk, jog, or run out of this place, and when I leave next week I won't even be skipping. That isn't to say I'm not excited to leave. I'm not going to be dragging my feet and missing my plane so that I can stay in Syracuse longer (not on purpose anyway, the flight is very early in the morning though...). I will be walking at an even pace, back straight, standing tall, hugging my mother, and boarding the plane, ready. As much fun as I've had here, there is a time to move on, and my time comes next week. Who knows, maybe I will be back, maybe I won't. But it is time to leave for now.
Of all the things and people that I will miss, there is one companion, an irreplaceable love of mine, that I will truely long for during the nights. My cat, Philomena. She is really my brother's cat, who was living in some raunchy apartment in Syracuse betwixt empty 30 pack boxes of PBR and whatever or whoever else was strewn in there. Probably guitars and broken bicycles. My brother gave her to my mother when he moved, and in this manner is how I met her. She was used to being referred to as Phyllis, Phil or Philly by my brother and his friends. All of those names are fitting for her. As is Mena, which we call her here. If we could change her name to Queen B, I'm sure she still wouldn't answer (as cats don't care what you want usually), but the name would absolutely work. She is a diva among cats. Here she lives with 2 other cats, one very old and doesn't get involved, and the other, younger and bullied. There are also 2 dogs, terriers, who Mena gallops around with in the mornings. I mean gallop. This cat is lightening fast, looks like a Holstein, and runs like a horse. She also fights like a scrapper.
What I will miss the most is our nights together. She sleeps with me every single night. In the winter she would nose her way beneath the covers, curling herself up along side of my body and placing her little warm padded feet against my stomach. In the summer she sleeps above the covers, sometimes at the foot of the bed, sometimes up near my face. I talk with her and pet her. She purs ans chirps back, I'd never heard a cat chirp, but it's possible. The funniest thing about our sleeping arrangement however is how she wakes me up. Every morning Mena walks up and sits near my face (I've been awake enough to watch her do it). She sniffs around and stares at me a few minutes. And then, very carefully and slowly, she brings her paw to my nose and taps it. She will do this over and over until I stir. If I roll over and fall back asleep she just walks across me, to the other side and repeats until I wake up. I'm sure that she does this for her own selfish reasons, like wanting to be fed, but I like to pretend that she loves me so much she is eager for me to wake up and hang out with her.
I sound like a crazy cat lady, and maybe this is what I am on my way to becoming. A spinster in an old shabby house, knitting and talking to her cats, taking their photographs and telling anyone who makes the mistake of calling about what Wiskers did today. Opening paper bags on the floor for the cats to hide inside of and jump out when I wave the cat wand by. (cat wands are wands with a string and feathers attached, in case you don't know because you don't have 40 cats of your own.)
I wonder if Mena will notice when I'm gone? If she will find another bed to sleep upon, another nose to pat. Will she remember me when I come back to visit? Be mad and refuse to acknowledge me? Will she stop eating when I leave? Overcome with grief and separation anxiety pull out all of her fur? Her soft black and white fur???
Probably not. I won't do any of the above either, well besides become a crazy cat lady, that's a given, and maybe even stare at the next person that sleeps in my bed and pat their nose in the morning. I'll probably even curl up under the covers and push my padded feet against their stomach. Hm. Maybe Mena and I are more alike than I ever realized. But I won't go out in the middle of the night and hunt rabbits, coming back in the morning with blood smeared on my face, nor will I shit in a box. So at least that differentiates us.
Back to the point. She has snuggled with me through some rough nights. Some nights where I've played online until 2 am (like right now) and woken me up at 6:45 am so that I can get to yoga in time (Mena, if you read this, I have to be up for yoga tomorrow, give me a few pats around then...). Shes been an entertaining and loving friend. I'm really going to miss her when I go...
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