The Queen awaits...

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In about 6 hours, I will either be leaving my house for the airport, or I will most likely be there. I figured I would write a little something before I left, to do a mind-dump, if you will.

Every step of this trip has been different from my last. A lot of it resulted in some form of stress. However, I have persevered, and now am at this point: departure. The best way that I can describe my feelings are by reflecting back to my first year of college. It was an experience I had never had before, but it was something for which I was excited. There were a lot of things that made me nervous…Will I make friends? Will I get lost? Will I survive my classes? How will I react to being away from my family for so long? DID I PACK ENOUGH? There is also this huge sense of aloneness, as this is a personal experience. Yes, many people are doing studying abroad and leaving their families, but each experience will be unique to each person. However, no one from my school is coming with me, and none of my support system will physically be there for 4 months. It’s very easy to get overwhelmed by this big picture.

So, this is what I am doing to try to re-analyze the situation. I tell myself that just because no one will physically be there with me, I have Skype, endless e-mail, this blog, and a calling card to contact my loved ones whenever I choose. I also tell myself that I will be surrounded by people who are not from England and who are likely going through the same things as I am. I reassure myself that I love international people, that they excite me, and I already got over my nervousness of meeting new people when I was in Ireland. As far as school, I just say, “Pish, this is a huge school. I would be shocked if I didn’t get lost! But that’s what orientation week is for.” And as far as classes go, I am trying to get it in my brain that I know how to be a good student, I am a good student, and I don’t need to do things perfectly. That will probably be one of the toughest. Oh hush, it’s what we perfectionists do.

It’s all a perpetual cycle of nerves, teary eyes, calming down, saying that long mantra, then circling back around. Right now, I am just trying to take one step at a time. In my immediate future, there are 2 things I need to worry about (well, maybe not worry): making sure my luggage isn’t going over the weight limit, AND making sure I am allowed to enter the country of England. Seems pretty manageable. I hope.

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