Advertisement
Published: September 15th 2006
Edit Blog Post
Thar she be
Iconic? I agree. Ladles and jellyspoons I am in love, L-U-V, love. Her name is Linda and she’s the most amazing thing in New York. How best describe her? Well she has piercing green eyes and a presence beyond imagination. Okay she could do with updating the wardrobe cos the flowing green robes do not show off the goods if ya know what I saying! She’s roughly 151ft tall and weighs 300 tons; she carries a torch in one hand and a big ass book in t’other… I am of course talking about the Statue of Liberty, not an actual person for those of you who think im dating Sandy Allen (don’t know who that is? Google it). Ahhh the Statue of Liberty, Lady Liberty, the gateway to America, the big green lady with the torch and stuff. Or as I like to call her Linda Liberty (get it L - inda L- iberty, alliteration, clever eh?), such a common name for such an iconic monument. But wait, iconic monument or 120 yr old tranny???!?!?! Hmm ....
The day itself starts off with a hint of anxiety, today I will be riding the subway for the first time. Some of you are probably
Veg and Linda
Beauty, ain't she? thinking ‘big deal you girl’ but surprisingly we don’t have an underground train system in Cornwall (we barely have underground drainage) so this was a big deal for me. At first it feels like you need some sort of insider knowledge to survive a subway trip but it’s actually well easy. The only thing I was worried about was missing my stop and ending up in ‘da hood’ and my street talk, though pretty motherhumping to the radical max, is not good enough to survive an NY ghetto. It all went smoothly though apart from construction stopping us 30mins walk from our destination Battery Park. Nothing a yellow cab couldn’t fix!
There are several ways to see Linda and with that a variety of prices. For the cheap id say take the Staten Island ferry, you don’t really get a close up look but it is free. We chose to take the official ferry over to the island so we could walk around the big green bitch’s feet. In spite of the ma - hoo - sive queues it’s definitely worth it. It costs $11.50 for the ferry alone or $16 for the added bonus of an audio tour,
U.S.A, U.S.A!
Not the most flattering, but hey, we were multi-tasking (taking and posing). we took the cheaper option. We arrived quite late and the queue was like ….uh, I dunno …. 12,006 mils long. You’d think this would be tedious but it really wasn’t. As we shuffled our way to the ferry there was plenty of entertainment to keep us occupied, especially from one particular hobo.
No idea what this guy was called but shrewd businessman he certainly t’werent! The only thing keeping this “musician” in business was the constantly moving line. Basically what the wee wee stained fiddler would do was play one tune on his violin and keep repeating it to the passing masses confident people would assume he had a plethora of acoustic delights. Clever? Not really, sound travels. Plus the tune he was destroying was ‘Old Macdonald had a farm’, I say tune but even the most tone deaf, nay completely deaf person could tell he was ballsing it up! Genius entrepreneur he was not but he was doing alright for someone with a violin made of plywood and shoe laces!
1hr 30mins, a variety of street performers and a hotdog later and we’re on the ferry. The Ferry ride is a piece of piss ( I
Right in the bullocks
Ever roshambo'd a giant gold bull? I have. was worried about sea sickness, its happened to me more than once). When we get there first things first, food. My advice to anyone going to Liberty Island is do not get the food. It. Is. Shit. Apart from that the whole experience is amazing. We took our time walking around her ladyship and got some beauty pics, it’s also ideal for pics of the Manhattan skyline. Its at this point Liam poses the question ‘ Do you think the Statue of Liberty is fit?’, fair question, thought it would be a simple answer but then we took a closer look. That there lady sure does look like a man! Sure a feminine looking fella but still , the face itself is pretty ambiguous. Man or woman, boy or girl, it got us thinking, what if she is a he?! What if the Statue of Liberty is a 120yr old private tranny joke only known by the upper echelons of the French government;
“Hawheehawheehawww, look at le stooped emericans, little do zay know that le Statue of le Liberty eez infact a man! …. Hmm I do love zeez snails”
More importantly is Linda infact Lenny! Maybe we
stumbled upon something there or maybe we wasted an afternoon discussing this. Either way it was a very good day out, if you’re ever in NY on a sunny day go see the Statue of Liberty cos seeing it books or TV/Films is nothing compared to seeing it in the “flesh”. For $11.50 id definitely say money well spent.
Oh yeah we also seen ground zero and I kicked the Wall St ‘Raging Bull' in the nuts.
Cheers and gone
Chris
P.S - Sorry to any French/Americans/Trannies/Hobo’s reading this, no harm done yeah? ….. Cool.
Advertisement
Tot: 0.103s; Tpl: 0.016s; cc: 7; qc: 55; dbt: 0.0555s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.1mb
Spak
non-member comment
Tooty Reshpec
tooty representation in front of the mofo'in statuette of liberty. nuff said. respec pish.