Day 12 Notes from Paul, July 17

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Observations from Paul

Some statistics from our onboard computer …

3324 miles
22.9 mpg
66.32 hours of “drive time”
An average of 49 miles per hour
Requiring 145 gallons of fuel

There was an exhibit at the grizzly museum where manufacturers bring their “bear proof” homeowner trash boxes to be tested by the experts, the inmates, AKA the bears. This resulted in destruction of heavy metal containers of all sorts. One infallible container was a 55-gallon drum with welded steel reinforcements on the bottom and top, making use of the container by humans nearly impossible. But at least the grizzlies can’t get in!

So in my contemplations driving through Yellowstone, seeing so many vans and SUVs, it occurred to me that we were driving one of many Rolling Grizzly Snack Boxes. These animals could tear apart any of these cars given half a chance.

No such power of retaliation is available to the bugs, however. Many have sacrificed themselves on our windshield and fenders. Minnesota and South Dakota had the highest windshield bug count ratios. Not so many in Montana or Nevada—maybe the tourists got them all in the previously mentioned states.

Being in the car with the boys has led to some interesting discussions. In Yellowstone, around the smoking sulfur pits, which smell, like, well, nasty bathroom odors--the boys sense an invitation to return to potty humor. When they were eight and nine and ten, potty humor was so prevalent that I must confess it grew tiresome. But after so many years without it, it was actually quite entertaining to revisit our “Captain Underpants” days. (A kids’ book series that made us all roar with laughter once upon a distant time.)

Another interesting and somewhat related discussion had to do with body odor, which included accusations that one member of the family (unnamed) was responsible for some specific scents. The discussion went something like this:

“You smell bad. Did you put on deodorant?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you need to learn to use deodorant!”

“Well, I didn’t know. Nobody told me!”

Said family member was escorted to the shower by accuser on next hotel stop.

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