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Published: July 14th 2008
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Lelouch of the Rebellion
Nils told me I looked like the black-haired character in this photo now. ..It's still a boy. My hair needs to grow out faster. I say “tadaima”. You say “what did you just call me?”
Here I am. Doing all that I can. Maybe someone will understand. And that one will hold my hand.
Humor me. Back to work. That's a clip from a blog entry of a former Kansai Gaidai exchange student; the rest for those who are interested can be read
here, though I highly recommend any of you reading this to take a look. I can't say that I entirely understand his point of view since each of our experiences was different at that school. For me, I grew up a lot. I finally decided it was time to make some drastic changes in my life, starting from my looks and tomboyish exterior to the way I approach life and it's challenges. I became wiser, gentler, and better person in my eyes. But no matter those changes it doesn't fix how badly I miss Japan. I know that even if I went back to Hirakata right this second it would not be the same. It couldn't be the same because all the people that made it so special would be gone. "I do not regret the things I've done,
..Failed
Aaron: awesome when it comes to catching things on camera. Failed half-kyoudai smash in the making. I'm trying to steal Fred's beer and he completely caught me red-handed. only those I did not do" is what everyone keeps telling me; and I know first hand now that it is the honest truth. So I've decided that I am going to live my life without the possibility of regrets. I am going to do things as they come to me, and find out for myself the lesson to be learned in the end. Currently there is only one regret in my life I need to alleviate but I really can't do anything about it for a few more weeks; I wish there was an easier way to go about doing it, so it's best to mind my time with other things until I can. I'm making plans for the end of the year, and I'm taking a chance with this job situation. I know that things will work out in the end. That's all the confidence I really need.
Whoever said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" left out the part that says "but it will hurt while you wait for it", because really the process is a painful one. You don't realize just how much you care and love someone or how well you connect until
Tina and Cory
I could listen to these two go back and forth all day and not get bored, haha. I really love the two of them, and 'm glad we've gotten close since leaving Japan behind. you can't have the same contact that you used to. However this is, I can say that the chances I do get to talk with these special people mean the world to me with they are happen. It's not quite excitement or exhiliration as much as it's.. joy? Happiness? It's hard to describe, but every time I do have that opportunity I am extremely grateful. It took me twenty-two years to do but I've finally figured out where my "home" really is. And it isn't a physical place; it isn't in the walls of seminar house three, nor is it here on American soil in North Carolina and Maryland. Home is with the people you love and the memories you made with them. I'm really thankful Pi-chan's mom reminded me of that tonight.
I hate that this entry hasn't been so very reflective at this point, but I hope this week once I've accomplished more that I'll have a bit more to update with. I've made plans to meet up with four of my best friends back home for a picnic one afternoon, and this week begins the tedious process of making 200 pink cherry blossoms to decorate Sora's
Hubby
Had to throw her in :P I love Jenny so much. I hope we can talk again very soon. wedding cupcakes with. :P And I get my bridesmaid dress this week! Here's hoping that it.. fits. We were measured for them last year sometime so I'm a bit worried. On that note, there have also been a lot of thoughts running through my head about this process of becoming a girl.. mostly sparked by Nils and the random emo kids I befriended this weekend, but I'll post on that with the next entry this week. I'd like to return to my old university as well and take some pictures of my hometown to show you all what North Carolina looks like.
And on a completely unrelated note: I didn't change my hair this weekend! I think it's going to stay black from here on out. I think I've uncovered one part of my girl persona at long last. Now to figure out the wardrobe.
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Felix
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OH MY GOD! The picture from bowling! That...... was a very memorable and fun night!.... albeit at my expense... -_- Slight regret I didn't take pictures that night , you must send me some!