It's All Relative. Or is it?


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May 1st 2012
Published: May 1st 2012
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I managed just fine in those black heels. By "manage" I mean I tolerated walking a whole five city blocks in them without twisting my ankle. I finally told Jeremy we should take a taxi the rest of the way to the theater. It was cold and windy; he obliged. I held a cup of hot coffee close to my body and shuffled into the theater. "No outside drinks allowed" so I stood in the foyer, nursing my coffee. That's when I met her. A pretty Latin woman dressed in a long black wool coat. She stood there, same as I, savoring the last bit of her latte. I looked down past her fishnets, to the two weapons she wore on her feet; six-inch patent leather black peep-toe stilettos.

"Your shoes are to die for!" I say to her.

She smiles broadly. "Believe it or not, they're actually comfortable."

"I don't believe you," I reply.

She thinks I'm joking.

"No, really! They are."

"No they're not," I reiterate. Sweat pants are comfortable. Grandma's couch is comfortable. Fluffy slippers are comfortable. What I was looking at, shoes named after daggers, are not comfortable.

"Look!" she tells me as she slips off one shoe, revealing a Dr. Scholl's insert, like that changes everything.

"Well....that would make a difference I suppose," I say and decide to back down, "I should try that with my shoes." Sure.

She grins thinking she's finally made me see reason.

"Comfortable or not, you really look amazing," I tell her. "By the way, I'm Andrea."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Maya."

Maya goes on, "You know Andrea, I got these shoes from Aldo for $100 and they are much more comfortable than the Louis Vuitton ones I own. I have these exact shoes from Louis, and I swear I just cannot wear them."

"So they just sit in your closet?" I wonder out loud.

"Yes! They're horrible. The toe is so pointy and narrow...I just can't do it."

Curiosity gets the best of me. "Ok, tell me, how much were the Louis Vuitton shoes?"

She grins and looks down bashfully. "I can't say," she tells me.

"Oh sure you can! What difference does it make? You're never going to see me again."

"Well, I think, well, my husband bought them for me and they were about, I'd say....$1,100."

Ouch! Instead of blurting out the obvious "You could feed a small country with that" line, I opt for, "Well, the shoe is classic and designer and I'm sure they're beautiful."

She looks relieved that I seem to understand her indulgence and then decides to reveal, "That's what I thought! So I bought them in TWO colors!"

Now I give up.

"It was so nice to meet you Maya and I'll be sure to check out Aldo before I leave town."

She hugs me. "Great meeting you Andrea! Meet me in the lobby at intermission and give me your number!"

Jeremy and I walk away and once we're out of ear shot he says, "That is ridiculous. Just plain ridiculous. There is no reason whatsoever to spend $1,100 on a pair of shoes."

In my never ending quest to be open minded and reasonable I say, "For you and I it would be ridiculous, yes. But, she can probably afford it. If you've got that much money to just throw around, then what difference does it make if it's on shoes?"

Jeremy's not biting. "Its not about being able to afford the shoes. It's about shoes being worth $1,100. No shoe is actually worth that much. That is what is ridiculous."

I know he's right. But obviously some people are buying the thousand dollar shoes and to them I'm sure it is worth it.

"I think its all relative," I tell him.

We stand on the balcony overlooking the theater lobby sipping our Merlot. The Chicago Theater is magnificent. You feel like you've stepped back in time surrounded by gaudy crystal chandeliers, ornate gilded moldings, the grand staircase with brass banisters. A chauffeur pulls a swank Mercedes with darkened windows to the entrance. He opens the car doors for the lady and gentleman inside. She steps out adorned in fur coat and heavy jewels tugging at her ear lobes.

Taking a moment to process the ambiance, I rationalize, "You know, Jeremy, depending who you ask, all of this is ridiculous."

I think back to Africa. There was a man selling his hand carvings outside of our campground in Tanzania. The carving that caught my eye was a mother lion gripping her cub in her mouth. It was unique and beautiful and he was only asking $20. I wanted it, but was seriously low on cash. The man said, "You give me your shoes and I give you this."

Without thinking I blurted out, "No way! These shoes were $60!"

Shame hit me in the gut. The African artist said nothing. He just looked at the ground, away from me. I knew what he was thinking, "No shoe is actually worth $60."

I felt embarrassed to be wearing $60 hiking shoes. I didn't try explaining to him, "It's all relative....don't you see?"

Rather, in that moment, I vowed to never spend that much on shoes again. In the decade since, I can't even enumerate how many times I've broken that vow, probably twice in the last month....that I can remember anyway.

I have to smile though, thinking of Maya trying to trade her thousand dollar stilettos for the carving. The African man would laugh. Not interested. He'd be better off with the twenty dollars in his pocket.

Maya would say, "But these are LOUIS VUITTON!"

He'd reply, "Louis who?"


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1st May 2012

Shoes
oh i'm sorry...but i do LOVE an expensive pair of high heels :)) It is one of my biggest indulgences and my jimmy choo's are my pride and joy! I have to attend balls and award ceremonies just so i can wear them lol! I understand your story and rationing though... sort of ;) tam
1st May 2012

Love this entry!
Andrea, LV don't make shoes, they sell a brand..if you want to speak about names, let's put it, Jimmy, Christian, maybe Manolo, and for sure Rene (if you get that one, I'm impressed). I'm not gay but have had to educate more than one girl on the art of beautiful shoes. They will all say the same things...these stilettos are so...so ...comfortable... Aldo is ok, not a a bad deal for sure...specially the 75% off....but if you want real bargain, forget Chicago, forget NY and LA, fly to Las Vegas on the 26th December...these 1000 something are going down to 189++...and yes, they change a leg...actually two legs...and even a body... Now I don't believe we discuss this on TB....
1st May 2012

every girl should at least own one pair of stilettos
...hahaha...I Love this blog :)
1st May 2012

I Agree!!
I own several pairs actually...but none worth a thousand dollars...even collectively!
1st May 2012

If Andras reads this blog I'm in trouble! The last thing I need is for him to think there is a miracle solution for wearing 6" heels (and that it's a 1k solution at that, even $100 - ha!). Would love to be one of those women (and/or men) who can walk around in stilettos with as much ease as trail shoes or flip-flips but ... goodness, 2-3" will do it for me. Congrats on not twisting your ankle!
1st May 2012

Stephanie:
Those shoes are not meant for walking....
7th May 2012

Great read!
A very entertaining blog, and very true! I couldn't pay so much money for shoes knowing that it would take Chris and I further on our travels... Each to their own!
7th May 2012

Me Too
I do the same thing: equate the cost of things to the cost of a plane ticket. I could get pretty far with $1,100!!
16th May 2012

When the other shoe drops...
If I had my way, I'd live in $5 flip flops.
14th July 2012

'' I mean I tolerated walking a whole five city blocks in them without twisting my ankle.''
High heals will likely go the way of corsets. People will nag us for decades about what we are doing to our health, and suggest that comfort is available to us if we only ditch fashion. What it will take though is some beautiful famous women with a charmed life who always wears flat shoes to convince us that we too can have fulfilling lives without the heals. Princess Diana almost convinced my generation. Flat healed shoes did make a significant appearance on the fashionable ones in the 80s.
14th July 2012

I agree 100%.
I think you could include tanning beds in that list of unhealthy fashion trends. Have you read this? [blog=528885]
14th July 2012

:)
I havent read it yet. I will read it next. :)
31st July 2012

Awesome
I really enjoyed this read and I know nothing about shoes, nor have any interest in them. I dig your writing flow. Witty, well-paced. *props* Happy travels, Happy Life. ^_^ -Matthew

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