Sometimes you have to travel the world...

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...in order to discover your own roots.


There were opportunities in Boston: they taught me to push myself.
There was power in Geneva: it taught me humility.
There were sights to be seen in Paris: they taught me to keep looking.
There were mountains in Vienna: they taught me to keep climbing... but reminded me how it felt to look West.
And everywhere, there were people: they were my passion - they taught me how to serve.

It's been an interesting couple of months, hasn't it? I spent the 3 months prior to this one trying to recognize the path below my feet. Tried to content myself, empower myself and find my "it". I swore to myself, 5 years ago, that I would break free of Thornton, Colorado - that I was bigger, better, faster than its typical residents and that I was destined for greatness. I find it somehow ironic, and yet entirely befitting that I should find myself energized by the very thought of the drive to that city at 7:00 on some mornings. In other words, that my greatness may very well lie in the heart of Thornton.

Practically speaking, in my hunt to find a teaching licensure program, I found myself running into humps and walls that left me with this general feeling of overwhelmedness. For one thing, I started applying for jobs and doing the college hunt literally 8 hours after I had gone sleepless for about 52 hours. I was exhausted, and admittedly with good reason. The overwhelmed feeling left me downhearted and ready to cash in on the whole idea... until I started discovering "back door" approaches to the same goal.

Back story - those of you that know me well know my track record when it comes to academics and professional feats. I am not one for taking the traditional route. Show me the path to greatness and I'll show you why I don't have to take that path to get to the same destination. Generally, there are some deadroots and brambles on the alternative, but hey... as our buddy Robbie Frost always says, "Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the road less traveled by / And THAT has made all the difference."

That line is actually bringing me to a very fancy segue. I should think that there are only two people on this subscribers list that have ANY clue as to what that segue might be, however. But for the rest of you, just feel empowered knowing that that was an AWESOME segue, if I do say so myself.

Let all of this lead to us considering the fact that I have discovered an artful and yet inspiring alternative route to this educator's license. If all goes according to plan, it should basically involve following one of my new favorite people around until I have my Sub's license, which will lead to earning what's called an Alternative Licensure - even the title fits, doesn't it?

But regardless, I am finally admitting it to myself: I enjoy teaching. I enjoy teaching. I enjoy teaching. I've strayed away from it several times for a number of reasons... Dad tells me I'd be good at it, and I'd hate to abide by anything that he says so, always the rebel, I veer off. Orrrr I get distracted by the stars in my eyes from a potential 6-digit salary. Orrrr whatever... but yes. I'm back on this education track and it's been very heavily aided by one Mary Ann Stratton to whose hip I have thus melded myself. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I follow her around like her little puppy helping with grading, struggling readers, grammar, and yes - even singing once in awhile. I told her that I want to BE her when I grow up - and there's more than just her career path that she and I find in common, so we've grown on each other quite well - making her the ideal mentor for a kid like me. Symbolically enough, she begins each of her class sessions with those above-quoted Frosty lines.

But you know... exciting new career prospects have hit me before. But there's something about this PLACE that's making it different for me. It's more than just a potential career that has me beaming a bit. I'm seeing Colorado through completely new eyes these days. Certainly, Mom, Dad and I went up to the "Peak-to-Peak Highway" on Sunday to see the aspen (which are STUNNING this week, by the way Colorado-types... get up there like NOW if you can - that's what the photos all along here are reflecting) and these kinds of stereotypical Colorado events are helping me with rebuilding my faith in this place... but there's more than that, even. Frankly, it's ME that's different. I left to see the world and, as a result, discovered my home town(s). It's like - yes, the Alps are incredible mountains... but they weren't MY mountains. And, I must say - Boston does and shall forever have a very dear place in my heart - Boston is MY city. But, I had never really discovered Denver until this year. Sure, we'd gone to theatre events or to Elitch's or whatever... but I'd never just picked up and walked the streets. I never did that because I'd never THOUGHT to do that. I had to leave and to walk the world in order to learn to think that way.

Speaking of walking the streets, such an activity is not always a good idea. Especially not in rural Colorado. The other day I had to wait a bit for my ride (AKA my mother) home from work and decided I might be able to meet her halfway. Aw, hey - why not - Erie Municipal Airport can't be THAT far... That was stupid. Apparently this city-slicker attitude of mine has knocked the West out of me - the West being mile-wide grids instead of the cute little block-by-block grids that can be found in typical cities. I took to following the railroad tracks - which is not the first time I've done this, mind you - but I did it in friggin Erie, Colorado this time instead of suburban Thornton, Colorado. I wound up somewhere around 119th and Arapahoe (for those of you that know this area). Which means, yeah - dead f*ing middle of nowhere with no sidewalks, all private farmland, skunks EVERYWHERE and the sun having set a solid 20 minutes prior. I would've loved to have seen Mom's face when she got THAT phone call... COME GET MEEE!!! I was dressed in short pants, a wet swimsuit and flipflops with a soaking wet towel drooped over my shoulders like a greasy shawl - walking in waist-deep grass along an abandoned railroad, avoiding snake holes and coyotes - clapping and hooting if any animals got too close for comfort. Thank God it WAS the middle of nowhere, now that I think of it...

Anyway, regardless - I am finding myself pretty content with the idea of being out here. I'm starting to set some personal goals financially: car, housing, ...uh.... yeah, okay so those two are pretty much it. And yes - there is a potential trip to Boston in the mix for the Spring IFFFFFF I can land a more regular job by then. But, these priorities come first. For the moment, I'm loving the idea of living in Boulder or Denver and teaching in the 'burbs. Could I forgive myself if I started teaching in Thornton? Well, only time will tell. But I sure seem to be okay with volunteering there... Adams County is popping out new housing developments and new schools like rabbits. So, frankly - the Thornton that I grew up in no longer exists. Haha - well, it does... it's just called the slums now hahaha. All the fields and farms north and/or east of where I grew up are completely gone. Even the stretch to the west has new schools indicating huge amounts of new families and whatnot.

But all of that aside: this is where I am right now. Thanks to Baden, Austria I have learned to survey the scene and make every effort to make the most of what's directly in front of me. And with regards to Austria - since I never really brought much closure to all of that... I think I'd like to close this entry with a passage from my journal, actually:

"I guess there is something to be said of having these sorts of realizations and that I wouldn't have them had I not come . Being here, as I will need to continue reminding myself, taught me a lot about what my "it" consists of. This was not a senseless journey. These past two months forced me to take an extremely philosophical look at myself for which I should be thankful. The opportunity to stop and say - what am I really doing in LIFE - is a rare one indeed. Much to my fortune, I did not have to face death or some other catastrophe to come to my understanding of life. Much to my fortune, I did it, instead, by way of two months of solitude in the Austrian Alps. Now, if that doesn't drive a person to thank God or something like it... I don't know what does."

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Photos

119th & Arapahoe
This was really stupid.

Comments

[Gma]

Like a hug
Warm golden days to give you a big hug before winter sets in. Then you go skiing....

[Grandpa Bill]

Best Seller
Jessi: Your "travel/confessional" ramblings are more entertaining than the top five books on the N.Y. best sellers list. Keep the good musings coming. Love, Grampa Bill