Colorado

---

FINALLY! I hear you all cry. Yes it has been a while since the last entry. Sorry for the delay but i've either been too busy or not had access to the internet. Apologies.

So then, on to Colorado. It was here that i was to meet up with some chums i had met on my previous trip. The names of the poor unfortunates are Reilly and Marissa and for those of you who followed the previous trip you should be up to speed on who they are. The girls had promised me that if i was going to miss Colorado then i would be 'missing the greatest state in America'. With a promise like that i thought why not give it a go? As i flew into Denver airport it became obvious that something wasn't quite right. The captain had told us that we were 10 minutes away from landing in the capital of Colorado, Denver. A quick glance out of the window and i was mortified. There was NOTHING for miles around. As far as the eye could see there were fields upon fields and the odd mountain chucked in for good measure. That was it. Words probably could come close to describe how i felt at that moment but this is a public access website and i don't want to get kicked off it for foul and abusive language.

Upon meeting the girls i was to discover that this was indeed the airport assosciated with Denver but it was built about 20 miles away. Americans and their ways. Honestly.

The girls had a rough itinerary planned for my trip in the state and considering i was from the UK they thought that as soon as i'd dumped my bags i would appreciate a free tour of a brewery with four samples at the end. And how right they were! The brewery in question was the New Belgium brewing company. They are one of the largest micro-brewers in the USA and are basically a safe haven from all the mass produced rubbish like Bud and Miller light. I was to meet an Austrian chap later in the trip in San Francisco who described mass produced American beer perfectly. Adopt Arnold Schwarzenegger voice for his part:

'Zis American beer iz a lot like sex on a boat'
'Really?'
'Yaa. It's close to water'

Genious.

Still in Colorado now, we first met up one of the girls friends, Kathy, before moving onto the brewery. Kathy was a manager at Victorias secret and it showed. Sadly she wasn't fressed like on of the Victorias Secret models but she was wearing an outfit that included a pair of jeans that Russel Brand himself would have been proud to get into. She had a steely exterior which i found hard to get past but once I did I found her to be pleasant, interesting, and articulate. And married. It was a recurring theme i was to encounter throughout my time in the states.

The brewery tour itself was short and sweet and moved swiftly onto the free samples which tee'd up the drinking for the rest of the day. It was this day that i was to have my first, and thankfully only, margherita. A vile beverage that seemed to be as necessary to the girls as water to a fish. I found around this point that, even for me, i was getting far too drunk, far too quickly and i was developing a headache as well as having difficulty breathing. It turns out that the root cause of my problem, although not entirely blameless, was not alcohol. It was the fact that Fort Collins, just like Denver, is at an elevation of 5000 ft. I was having problems as the air is noticably thinner. I wasn't wheezing, just a little light panting, but it was still enough to keep the drinking down to a minimum for the remainder of my time in Colorado. I continued to stay out that evening and met a few more of the girls friends. One of which was a guy called Ricky. At first, Ricky came across very arrogant. He came over to the table and greeted everyone with a quick 'Suuup' before plonking himslef down and just staring at the TV in the bar. Whoever tried to engage him in conversation was shot down instantly with a quick, short sharp answer which instantly killed the conversation. He then heard me speak.
'This the guy from England?!' he exclaimed pointing to me.
'Yep that's right' I replied
The expression on Ricky's face made him look as though he'd just been told he was going to marry Miss Sweden. He was beaming from ear to ear. He pulled up a chair next to mine and that was it for the rest of the evening. I could not get rid of him. In a nice way though i suppose. He had such a keen interest in everything UK and didn't ask stupid questions such as 'Do you know the queen?' and was more interested in how England view America and how proud we should be to have the original series of 'The Office' (it has gone over a re-make in the states fronted by non other than Steve Carell). The guy was a Ricky Gervais nut. Absolutely loved him to bits. This was again another recurring theme i would notice throughout my time in the States. The yanks love him for some reason.
As the night drew to a close, several of us, including Ricky, moved on to our merry chariot to be taken home. I'd taken my place in the middle of the rear seat when Ricky peered in a said:

'Get out of the car man'
I stared blankly at him wondering what on earth he was on about
'Seriously dude, get out of the f*cking car'
It was at this point that i was ready to step outside and get my arse kicked by Ricky until he followed the line up with;
'You're a guest in our country, there's no way you're ridin bitch. Allow me' Bitch of course meaning the crap middle seat you find in any car bigget than a Fiat Panda.

The rest of the evening you'll be pleased to know passed without incident.

The following day Reilly and Melissa had decided that, because i was struggling so much with my breathing the day before, it would be a great idea to go for a little walk. In the Colorado Rockies. I was of course unaware of my fate because all i had been promised was a quick walk to get me acclimatised to the region. This meant i had no provisions save for some sun cream and a single granola bar. That's right, no drink on a trek that was to take me from 5000ft up to an altitude of 7500ft. At the base of our walk (Horse Tooth Rock) words again would come close to describing how i was feeling but the language is far too foul to repeat.

As i am writing this you are right to assume that i did indeed survive and without any major incident. This still baffles me to this day considering that; 1) i was having difficulties breathing at the BASE of the walk, and b) Our food rations consisted of a granola bar to eat and 1litre of water to drink between 4 of us. Despite the poor planning the walk afforded some awesome views and i'm glad i was duped into doing it when i was. If i'd have known what was coming i'd probably have given it a miss considering the difficulty i was having at 'base camp'. How was my breathing at 7500ft? Not disimillar to that at 5000ft to be honest. Barely noticed the difference between the two. I'm assuming that if i was in any real difficulty i would have been gasping for breath before promptly passing out, which, fortunately, didn't happen. Interestingly enough, Machu Picchu, the Inca ruin in Peru, sits at about this altitude which gives me a little more confidence should i decide to attempt the Inca trail knowing i can function at this altitude without collapsing.

Anyway, i digress.

On my final day in Colorado i was to again be elevated to 7500ft but this time by car. The girls and I went off in search of the Stanley Hotel which served as the inspiration for Steven Kings novel and subsequently Stanley Kubricks film 'The Shining'. As you can see from the pics we did eventually find it but we were only allowed in as far as the foyer seems as though we weren't paying guests. Fair enough i suppose.

The owners swear that the hotel is haunted and if i owned it i'm sure i would too. The thing is literally in the middle of no-where. It must be at least 20 miles until the nearest form of civilisation. I can see why people of a reclusive disposition would want to stay at the hotel but other than that i really can't see the appeal. Now throw the fact that the hotel served as the inspiration for one of cinemas greatest horror classics AND the 'fact' that it's haunted an you instantly have a cash cow that you milk forever and a day. People travel for miles around to take the specially guided tour or to stop in one of the rooms. Insane, but i guess that's how you do business these days.

That pretty much wraps up my time spent in Colorado. Hope i've not bored you too much and hope to see you for the update from San Francisco.

Until then, au revoir.

---

Photos

Colorado
The view from the plane on my way into Denver airport. Rather sparsely populated i think you'll agree

Growler
This bottle is apparently called a growler. Well, it made me laugh. Americans and their stupid names for things!

Free Samples
New Belgium micro brewery's finest bevereges

Kathy and her margheritas
Apparently margheritas are very popular in Colorado with the ladies........

1st night
Dan, Reilly and Melissa

Team Rockies
Kyle, Reilly and Melissa. All successfully made me look like i had smokers lungs thanks to the amount of times they left me and had to stop and wait for me to catch up.

The Stanley Hotel
The inspiration to King and subsequently Kubricks 'The Shining'

Comments

[George]

Sounds good but..
Jay, that bloke looks like a bird ( the 2 legged variety that is!!)

[anonymous]

I agree with George