Published: May 1st 2012May 1st 2012
Mom's Stolen Dress
Mom's Stolen Dress
Up early to run. Then dress shopping! For the third time. Little Lou is getting married in 2 months and I don't have a dress. I head over to Desert Bridal today in an attempt to find something age appropriate.
So I've been carrying my strapless bra around with me for days now, hoping to come across the perfect dress.
So far I have had zero luck. Well, I did find a dress, but then my mother stole it from me. Yes, my mother! And the dress is a knockout and a super price. Saks. Fuchsia. Less than $100!!!! Designer. Unheard of. I try the dress on, it looks great. I don’t know if I would want it for Little Lou’s wedding, but it is a great dress and for sure I’m going to get it. Mom asks to try it on. The next thing I know she’s checking out and I’m down one dress! She plays the ‘oh, I feel so guilty’ but you know she is thrilled with the dress! Don’t blame her, it is a beautiful dress.
Started at Mall of America. Nothing! How can a mall that big have nothing? Every nice dress is
black, or barely covers your crotch. Neither are what I am looking for. So I head back to where mom got her dress. Nothing there either! I think the upcoming prom season has wiped out the dress selection. Then Macy’s. Nothing.
Now the strapless bra in itself is an issue. These things never stay where they should, and don’t hold things where they should. But still I know that most dresses are going to need a non-standard bra. So I have the beige strapless. Beige. What could be worse? Beige panties. Which I just purchased a few days ago. I had bought a very nice pair of white capris, and needed a neutral underwear. So I figure that I will head to Victoria’s Secrets and see what they have. They always have some excellent additions to my bra collection. Which, is in need of restocking. One of the big issues with losing weight is that you also lose your boobs. So the sad Cs need a new wardrobe since the thousands of dollars spent on D+ bras is now a waste. Anyways, I get two stunning new bra/panty combos, bright blue and bright green. Perfect for summer. And then I think, well, I need something neutral to wear with those white capris. Since I’m in Victoria’s Secret, the motherland of all underwear, I decide to get a practical selection of panties. Beige, dark beige and white. Let’s call them full cut. Ordinarily practical, full cut and beige are not words I would use to describe my underwear. But its Victoria’s Secret, they have to be better than the ones you would get at Target for $3.99, right? WRONG. I won’t say E’s entire comment when he saw me in them, but let’s just say the word ‘sturdy’ was used.
So I’ve got the sturdy panties and the beige strapless and off to the bridal shop. Fantastic selection and the nicest, non-pushy staff. I have twelve dresses to try on. I need the clerk to zip up the first one. ‘Take your bra off’. ‘No, I’m not the take your bra off type’. She gives me the look. A few dresses later I find the one. ‘Take your bra off’. What the hell, I want her to lace me into this thing. Perfect! And it is so tight that a bra wouldn’t fit. ‘It fits beautifully. You just need to get a better pair of panties. Those ones aren’t working.’