A Canyon Reflection

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Hiking is a great time for reflection. The following reflection came while hiking the Grandview Trail in the Grand Canyon National Park on February 19th. This kind of reflective moment is what this trip is all about. As I start my trip to Ireland I offer this reflection as a thank you to everyone who has helped and supported me on this journey. It would be impossible without the moral support, logistical support and free room and board of friends and family.

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The steep parts of the Grandview Trail in the Grand Canyon South Rim are 'paved' with stones placed next to each other with their thin edge forming the surface of the trail. It is as if the trail is laid with cobble stones, only at a 45 degree angle - up.

The name of the game is to place the toe of your boot on the top edge of every third or fourth stone and let your legs pull you up. Eyes down, seeing a universe of eight stones ahead the mind slowly empties and a meditative trance takes over, measured by the breath. It is as if, at the top of the trail awaits my Guru, sitting cross legged in a stone hut (or maybe Bill Murray tearing the pages out of his Bagavita to keep the fire going).

I begin to wonder about the laying of the stones. How long ago? How long did it take? How many false attempts until the method was developed? Were they placed by a horde of pubescent teens with hard hats and the letters “CCC” printed on the back of their wind breakers? Maybe it was a grizzled old park ranger with an engineer's mind. Were they stacked in rapid succession under deadline, or did their maker take great pride and time over his or her work? Was each stone placed precisely, repositioned, repositioned again, and checked with the cock of the head?

Did the maker, or makers, understand that the overwhelming force in the Canyon is erosion? That their handy work would disintegrating with every passing day? Have they every returned to check on the progress or resilience?

As I clime the cobbled causeway I begin to reflect on the carefully lain stones in my own life. Recently the forces of erosion seem to have accelerated. The carefully laid pieces have tumbled apart, set in motion by forces beyond my control. The dissolution of my marriage; the diagnosis of an incurable autoimmune disease (not AIDS); being passed over for a promotion and then leaving my job; the loss of my mother's life before my eyes.

The very grandeur of the Grand Canyon is a direct result of the erosion at work. The very stones that form the path are a product of that erosion.

So too the path of my future will be constructed by the new shapes that have fallen out of recent events. Already I have been able to take stock of the gifts given to me: a renewed understanding of the content of my character; an understanding of my limits; deepened friendship with the people who care about me; renewed connection and time with my family when it counted most; a deepened commitment to my health and the positive results it has brought to me physically and emotionally; affirmation of my innate qualities and talents. These are the stones that will pave my future, and with such a foundation I have no fear of the road ahead, only anticipation.

I found no Guru at the top of the trail, only a passel of tourist. Once again I found meaning in the moments of the journey, just when the journey seemed at its toughest.

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