MONTREAL what a waste of my time

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So its been a very long time since i wrote in here and figured after reading through some old entries i would put in an update, well the last time i was on here i was in sunny asia. after going home for a few months and then to work in the states for the summer , i find myself in Montreal, Canada. The question im asking myself now is why? I did have a personal reason for being here but now there is absolutely no good reason for me to be here. The city itself is very nice with many sprial staircases lining the streets to the many old style apartments that are here and there there are many great places to go and eat relax and just hang out. but i dont want to do any of it anymore i just want to get out of here. whats worse is that i am actually stuck here until the wonderful people at the uk passport office in Washington pull their finger out and process my application for a new passport. due to the rather shall we say, well usedness of my passport which had 4 years left on it and around three pages. I was forced by the us consulate to get a new one as in their ever growing security procedures to stop people from going there you have to have an immaculate passport. i think this is ridiculous as there are 5 previous US visas in there and that should warrent enough proof that i wont be any kind of threat.

Something I have noticed about montreal is that out of everywhere i have ever been , i have failed to make any friends here. The quebecouis as they like to be known i find are very cold to foreigners and seem very suprised that someone from another country is living here, They ask if I speak French , I tell them no although it has gotten better and i can tell a truck driver to turn left or a taxi driver that he can stop here, i am not fully confident in having a full conversation in French. on hearing this they arrogantly walk away without so much as a goodbye.

I joined a soccer team whilst i have been here and we are doing quite well after yesterday beating the best team in the league in the play off semi finals to be in the final so we can actually finish second at least but i hope we win it would be possibly the best thing to happen in this month of what can only be described as hell. oh yeah the soccer team. so on the pitch its great as you just need to make a noise to get the ball passed to you if your team mates arent too greedy with the ball. but after the game in the locker room its all french and I am omitted from the conversation once more. I understand that people speak french here but peole also speak english and i find it extremely rude when people purposely talk in another language knowing full well that not everyone can join in. so I am left feeling like im being talked about right in front of me.

all in all i have because of things that have happened loathed my time in Montreal and came here for the wrong reasons. I have made myself miserable being here and feel now its all been a big waste of time and for the first time ever i vow never to return here.

this could just be because of what has happened to me recently aswell as at the beginning of the month getting punched in the face by a bum on the metro after he was harrassing some woman. she never even said thankyou just got off the next stop.

on the plus side i do remember talking about my ongoing struggle with school. this struggle seems to be ever ongoing as I have successfully gained a place at BMCC and hope to attend in the fall. theres one thing stopping me now ...... money. I need desperatley some one to co sign on a loan for me or my dreams of going to school are once more taken away from me. I mean its my only option a i coudnt ask my parents and even if i could the amount they are asking to show in advance is all the money for my whole time here (2 years) and about 40,000 dollars so it leaves me with no option and in the likely hood although not giving up, in the back of my mind i know i have to for now really.

So that leaves me with the question what next ? well for the first time in around 2 years ive not got a clue my backup plans have ran out and my plans have also ran out ( literally) so im left here right now alone and contemplating what exactly is next. funny really when im finally ready to settle down in one place i cant go to the place i choose.

AH well i guess thats one of life little fuck yous.

maybe il be in a better mood when i write in here again i think il try and at least write on a monthly basis more for myself to look back on ( id keep a diary but i already have so much stuff to carry around i think id rather use this. plus if your a nosy kind of person you can keep up with it to

Peace x

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