I Am a Fruit Terrorist

---

The ride from Seattle to Vancouver was pretty uneventful. I sat next to a tall Canadian girl that told me where to go and what to avoid in Vancouver. I looked out the window. I talked to Seth on the phone. I listened to the Irish boys sitting behind me sing "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round..." I napped.
That was until we got to the border.
"What sort of weapons do you have?" Asked the stern lady in the suit. She did not smile.
"I have a little thing of pepper spray and a pocket knife," I answered, holding my breath.
"Are you going to be showing everyone this pepper spray?" She stared me down. It was really making me question if I was a suspicious person. I didn't want to be a suspicious person.
So, naturally, I stuttered. "Nah..No. Well, I mean, unless everyone is attacking me or something." She raised an eyebrow and moved on.
"The pocket knife is fine. Do you have any food on you?"
"Yes," I thought about it, "a bag of plums, an apple, and spaghetti sauce." I forgot about the apple cider.
"You need to remove the plums and the apple, throw them out over there in the orange bin."
I almost cried. This Border Nazi had gone too far. Not my island plums!
Yeah so I threw them out. Next question.
"How long are you staying for?"
"Four days," I smiled because I had said that with confidence, until she asked to see my return ticket. I didn't have one. I wasn't sure if maybe I would want to stay longer once I got there.
"That's a little strange..." she trailed off.
No it's not, you weirdo, I thought. Haven't you ever traveled yourself, before? Hullo!
"So where are you staying?" and as she asked that fatal question, the name of the hostel and the actual word hostel were completely erased from my mind.
"Umm...uh...the...sss...it starts with an es...oh!" It came back to me as her eyebrow went to unbearable lengths trying to connect with her hairline. "The Same Sun Backpackers Hostel!" I was so excited.
"You can go now," was all she said, as I passed under a sign that read: WELCOME TO CANADA."
Sure.

---

Comments

[A.J.]

you are a conook,ya know ,well at least 1/2..........