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G Dogg n J Dogg
Cutting a rug in the Roxy After a big night, it's a late start but we're up and ready around 1pm. A little overcast and a slight chill in the air but nothing to stop us from heading down to the Beautiful Stanley Park again, via East Hastings of course, for a spot of 'Pitch n Putt'. After establishing that we all completely SUCK at golf (unless it's going 'Happy Gilmore' style and smashing it as hard as you can - which doesn't bode well with other players) we decide to make up our own rules and holes. Much better! Again, the scenery was spectacular with huge Hemlock pines surrounding us and squirrels eating out of Josh's hand.
After golf we head down to English Bay. It's a beach. Nothing spectacular.... I'm from Surfers Paradise afterall, but it's pretty. Probably alot more impressive if the sun was shining. Being the tourists we are though, we really only headed down for the Inukshuk which is a native Indian sculpture designed to stand out to those on the seas so they not only knew that land was ahead but that 'friends' were ahead and they wish you good luck. They're pretty impressive really.
So, with the 'daytime'
Josh n Myles
Our lastnight at the Roxy almost over, it's time for me to go shopping. Not being atypical to my gender, I decide I will walk around the block of my hotel only. If there are no cheap clothing shops then I'm happy to be eye candy for the bums in the same outfit of previous days, and be harrassed by my friends for the smell that's following me around. (Just joking mum!) Corner 1, no joy, Corner 2, still no joy, Corner 3 and right beside Louis Vui is a fantastic lil store full of funky, different, reasonably priced clothing! FINALLY!!!! Reasonably priced is the issue for me in Central Van! 45mins and $350 later I'm walking out the store with some new duds - jeans, cropped jeans, shorts, funky singlet that reminds me of Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls (wouldn't mind one bit if I actually looked like her in the thing!), a hoodie and a pair of funkadelic plaid shoes that do actually look more like grandad's slippers but I LOVE them and they are my new faves! (Yes Mel, the 'inappropriate' shoes worn at Capilano Suspension bridge are these 'slippers' I speak of! But look how cool they are?!?!)
So,
back to the apartment for a round of 'Kings' then a round of - I want to say 'Bakatak' but I have a feeling that's not the correct name. In any case, it had the desired affect and got us nice and drunk before heading back to the Roxy where we were on one last mission to help Myles pull a Van Chicky before he bids farewell to British Colombia forever! First attempt has him using a cheesy chat up line - "Would you like to go halves in a bastard?" whilst Josh is trying to use an equally crap line on the friends - "Excuse me, I just farted over there, do mind if I wait here until the air clears?". Josh finds success and has the girls laughing and telling him how clever and original he is.... meanwhile, Myles is explaining, with difficulty and in great length, what a 'bastard' is. Poor bugger! Attempts 2 & 3 are unsuccessful so I decide to make it my mission to help him score! Tactic? Find Myles type (blonde, no brainer, fit bod, gullible and delusional) then feed them a sweet story about how hot my mate thinks they are but
'gang dannit' he's just so shy and intimidated he's not sure whether he should come over and talk to you or not?! Suckers! Fell for it everytime! I don't think Myles is aware I was doing this. He still managed to bollock that up somehow and after 2 attempts I decided if the third one didn't work I was done. Jed & Georgia were cutting a rug again in superb style and as Myles was getting bitter by the minute Josh and I decided it was time to take him home before he took his frustrations out on some unsuspecting bum.
Upon arriving back at our 5 star apartment (a nice lil deal we get through working for the mountain) Myles is still pent up needing a release - preferably in the form of a fight as he is an MMA Fighter (see UFC). As neither Josh or I are prepared to take on a professional whose not 'released any tension' for a good few days now, we decide the most sensible thing to do would be to bring out the beautiful, big, bouncy mattress, plonk it in the doorway, then take running flying jumps off the leather furniture.
Josh's triple jump
Leather Lounge, Coffee table, mattress! Then we run our very own photo shoot, before I decide I can take Myles since he gave me a quick lesson earlier in the day on how to execute an arm bar (essentially, a brilliant move used in MMA by which through twisting, turning and positioning yourself correctly you can snap the arm backwards, hereby injuring your opponent and win the fight!). The fight ends in the corridors of the hotel and we finally go get some shut eye around 4.30am.
DAY FOUR - THE FINALE
It's 10am and time for Myles to change out of his 'Carmana Plaza' bathrobe and slippers, clean out his 'closet' and head downstairs to catch his plane from Van to Toronto. I do not enjoy goodbyes. Although I've only known Myles a short while I'm going to miss my funny lil Englishman who I so enjoyed working, drinking and grappling with.
All checked out of our room and waiting for Jed and Georgia to finish getting Social Insurance Numbers so they can work in BC, Josh and I wander around until we come to a custom made T-Shirt shop where Josh makes himself a "Kim Jong is Illin'" T and
tries to convince me to get a "Jesus Saves" one. I'm a little gutted now as the shirt was pretty fab with a picture of Jesus in full hockey goalie gear and various other little hilarities included. We find J&G, grab a quick bite to eat and then navigate our way through SEARS. By far one of the largest and most confusing department stores I've ever been in. I'm guessing they make it that way so it's harder to get out.
So, today is our final tourist destination - Capilano Suspension Bridge. We saved the best for last! BEAUTIFUL beautiful forestry and a huge suspension bridge joining each side of the canyon. Lots of photo ops, lots of wildlife, some more carved totem poles but over-priced for what it is. But you get that don't you?!
I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.
All in all, we had a blast and I would recommend Vancouver for a holiday to anyone. I'd just remind them to be wary. You think it's never going to happen to you but it does. Especially in Vancouver we were told by our window repair man. Why with all the theft, heroin, crack,
homeless etc. was Vancouver voted most livable city in the world for the third time in a row I will never know? Melbourne is voted number 2 and I'd have to say from experience in both cities, I'd reverse their placings. Accommodation is expensive as is transport, food and alcohol. But I'm not going to complain. If I could live in Stanley Park, I would. That is truly the heart of Vancouver and what I will reminisce on when I'm old and grey.
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