South River

---

Here I am in South River again, with most of the staff I will be working with this winter. I had strong reservations this morning, as I sat aboard the train, cruising out of toronto. Its really daunting to re-enter this community, where I last year had a really miserable time. Even as I sat there in the dog yard this evening, about to take part in the feeding thats going to happen every day for the next 4-5 months, surrounded by hundreds of rediculously happy creatures.. I felt unhappy. Not fully content about the path I have chosen.

And then there's the folks whom Im going to be working with, some of who I was afraid of last winter, people who I was afraid to be myself around, for fear of judgement.

My soul feels stronger then its felt in a very long time. Strong enough to overcome the difficulties I crumpled under last winter, here in South River.
And I realize that my life is a lot longer than 4 months.
And I feel I have the strength to be myself, respect myself, and do what is right for myself and what I need to do to make myself happy here.

And.. thats relieving. Thats all I have time for.

Tyler

---