I've Started so i'll Finish

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Hello England.

Firstly I would like to inform everyone that whilst at Gatwick Airport prior to departure I proposed to my wonderful girlfriend Cat and she thankfully accepted (even with my new haircut!). I am so happy and look forward to returning home and having a fantastic future with her. Love you my baby.

Well my first entry comes via Dubai Airport at 3.30am (get this its 36 degress here, at that time of night) and after not having much sleep I feel strange so please excuse the spelling, grammar and context in this writing.
After leaving Cat at the airport sporting a new glittery ring I wandered off into the unknown. Firstly I sat in my allocated seat on the plane and was thrilled to see 2 empty seats next to me however after the plane had taken off I was joined by a middle aged Greek couple (called Mr & Mrs Fidget Antsintheirpants), who had decided they wanted to change seats and I was the lucky person they were going to sit next too. Mrs Antsintheirpants quickly proceeded to get into an elbow war with me, little did she know at that time just how stubborn I am and how moody I get when I am tired, needless to say I kicked her ass and won the war. Later we chatted loads though and got on great, she has become my fifth or sixth mum (I cant remember how many I have now) and I reluctantly gave up my elbow room for her wrinkly old (now bruised) arms, although she did spill her red wine but luckily only on her as I would have not forgiven that act were it spilt on me.

Food was served just as we hit some turbulence which made for interesting eating and I consequently dropped some mayonnaise onto my groin area, why does Mayo always fall on the groin area????

Now onto the American man in front of me, he was rude at the start by moving my bag very roughly without asking and then after we have eaten and I had dirty food containers on my tray he decided to recline his chair at a rate of a tomahawk missile and nearly catapulted all of the food and stuff into my lap, I called him a f**king idiot and he said he would report me for abuse, so I decided to kick his chair the entire trip instead of verbally abusing him.
Whilst on the plane; I, like most of the other passengers decided to give my feet an air by taking my hot shoes of but to my dismay I had a big hole in them and my big toe was poking all the way out, then nature called and I strutted of to the toilet only to tread in some chewing gum and I stuck to the floor for a bit and then proceeded to walk like a weirdo (left, stick, left stick, left stick and so on) back down the aisle to my seat where I started to think, Frank Spencer has nothing on me, surely I am getting the bad out of the way now!!!!

Anyway Dubai Airport is so expensive it sickens me to the depth of my soul and wallet. I have a 9 hour wait here and wish I didn’t try and save the 200 quid with this stop over flight and instead went straight to Jo’burg, because as it happens I will probably spend that saved 200 quid on 3 pints here.

Other than the above it’s GREAT fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did feel a bit lonely just now looking out of the window with my $50 pint in hand and I wanted a cuddle from Cat. I think I will just grab some bearded Arab man and give him a big squeeze to get me through this lonely spell, come here Abdul, you can’t get away that easy!!!!

I hope England misses me.

Be back on TravelBlog soon - probably in 3 hours because the Internet café is one of the cheapest things here. Only joking I will be back when I have some fun things to say.

Bye

Love you Cat and miss you. xxxxxx

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