I'm allowed at least one feminism-tinged rant.

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I guess I'll start with a good ol' disclaimer.
I am incredibly grateful to be studying abroad. I know that many are not blessed with the means or opportunity to do the amazing things that I am and for that I have to marvel at my incredibly good fortune. I know that I am living, according to some people, the life, and I could never look at all that is given to me and take it lightly. Yes, I do feel that I've worked hard to get the grades and all that to study abroad, but regardless of how much I have personally done much of how I got here is luck. Luck that I was born into my understanding family with just enough money to spare to help me fund my trips. Luck that I'm in a SUNY school. Luck that the people at my home university helped me through the arduous applications even though they got nothing in return, all to give me the chance to study in such a remarkable place like Istanbul. I can't take my good fortune lightly. My life is blessed with great friends, family, and fortune. In the grand scheme of things I seriously can't complain.


Buuut, of course, there are some things that irk me...

I love Istanbul. The city is beautiful, the people are for the most part very friendly and helpful, and the weather is excellent.


My only gripe is the creepy men.
So, if you are a creeper living in Istanbul, this is directed to you (though I doubt that they'd read this, because they'd only want one thing from me, and it's pretty hard to get in text form...)

I knew that this was a patriarchal society. I knew that this country is very heavily Muslim-influenced. I expected women to be subservient to the whims of the men around them. I figured I would be treated differently due to my lack of certain appendages. But the extent of it all, I could have never fathomed.

This has all bothered me, but I've tried to be understanding. But, I've been pushed past turning a blind eye to it all. Honestly, I'm actually really pissed off now. No, you won't find me on the news for anything irrational. I just feel that I should tell you guys about the truth behind some of the men here.

I'm writing this after a night out with my friends. We all had a bunch of fun going to a wide array of clubs and were making our way out of Istiklal towards Taksim Square to catch a taxi. Tired from an action packed day we all walked at various speeds. I walked with one of my room mates. We wound up ahead of the group and stopped to let them catch up.
It was at this time 4 AM. Istiklal still had more people in it at this time than I think my hometown has in total. We idled and talked amongst ourselves. I heard whistling from a group of boys nearby, sitting on a stoop. They were looking our direction. "Come here!" Whistles. That enthusiastic excited voice you reserve for pets. "Come here!" I look past me, thinking maybe there was a dog behind me that belonged to him. Nope. They laughed and called for us more.
Too angry to think clearly, I just yelled random obscenities at them. They laughed some more. We carried on.

This isn't much. Much, much worse could have happened. But this, this was too far.
I couldn't figure out why I was so angry. Everyone else in the group carried on, told me to ignore it. We walked it off. Joked around. Climbed into the taxi and had a treacherous trip home.
But still, it was like a hive of bees in the back of my head.
Why did that bother me so much? Much worse has happened....
But I've cracked it. It just, all makes sense now.

People keep telling me to ignore the men, which I do diligently. Whether they mindlessly stare at you or ask if you want to join them tonight you just have to ignore them. Somehow they can always tell a foreigner from a crowded bus, and I'm not sure where they acquired their ideas about foreign girls, but I get the feeling it's heavily influenced by porn. I'm unsure of where else they would get the idea that by being as forward as possible could help you succeed, but they keep on trying it. Which makes me wonder: do they get rejected daily and never learn their lesson, or do they actual score with their crass words? Who in their rights minds would take this as... right?
My room mate that has been living in Turkey for 2 years tried to explain to me their mindset. It's not them that's rude for staring at you, or for trying. It's you. You shouldn't wear a shirt that is shorter then others. You shouldn't wear dresses. Or make up.
I understand that, but then why do they still stare when you wear a baggy sweater and casual jeans?
Either way, they feel entitled to stare at you. You are merely an object to be oogled at. Oh, that makes you feel something? Uncomfortable? Well, it makes them feel good, so whatever. Seriously, I sound a bit crazy, but if I'm sitting with my casually dressed friends and the man in front of us is touching himself while looking at us and he knows we see him and it doesn't faze him you really start to wonder. I've heard many stories from foreigners about the crowded buses. Having to stand in them and just repeatedly having your ass grabbed by various hands while trying to swat them away. It's... it's really hard to be positive when you feel like nothing to the people around you. A thing to try to get some satisfaction off. It's not like you're worthless, I mean, there is a purpose for you. But anything you're feeling, anything you're worried of, anything you care or think about is reduced to absolutely nothing.

Case in point: Those boys calling to us like dogs. We're just like the hundreds of stray dogs to them. I'm trying to think of who I would talk to like they were an animal and I honestly could think of no one I would give so little respect. They laughed when we looked around. They thought my insults were funny, my attempt to salvage any of my humanity were not only for nothing, they were laughed at. I was something to look at. And then laugh at.

Honestly, it's something very hard to shake off.


Oh, but there are more stories. Like the taxi driver that stopped on the side of an empty road demanding a picture. What is there to do, but to pose next to him and avoid his kisses? What of the men that come up to you and ask what the plans are for tonight? The men that earn your trust over months only to try to take advantage of you when you're most vulnerable? The taxi driver that locks the doors and tries to grope you? The men offering help, the knights in shining armor that know the ins and outs of the city, to only mislead you and try to lure you into god-knows-where? I've seen and heard about all of these things. I've been here 19 days.

No, not all men are like this. Not even half. It's just that the ones that are, they're hard to overlook.
It's awful, because the general male population here are incredibly chivalrous and I feel bad for lumping them into the same category as the others. They're wonderful. Middle Eastern hospitality is hard to beat. They are eager to help purely to help. They offer tea and cigarettes and ayran with no returns expected. In fact, it's actually considered rude to not take a tea when someone offers it to you. The people are incredibly gracious and eager to keep you happy simply because.

but the bad ones, they're horrible. Though they are not horrible to EVERY woman. Like I said, it's just the foreigners.

I love it here. It's beautiful. I have friends now and the tinge of homesick I feel as I lay in my new bed is ebbing away.
But, it's hard to be completely happy when you feel... lesser. I definitely took our human rights, woman's rights, for granted. When I get back home, where I know that people take sexual harassment seriously and rape is considered a heinous crime by an overwhelming majority, I can't say how incredibly glad I'll be.

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