From 1948: two perspectives

---

What an amazing day. Except for me, it was the first time for all our group members – both those who had been to Israel previously and those new to Israel – visiting the Ayalon Institute. The museum tells the story of the young people – teens and twenties - who ran the secret underground bullet factory during the three years leading up to the War of Independence in 1948. Our guide was Shachar and he was the best in all my visits here (my fourth visit). If you have not been there, it’s outside Tel Aviv next to the city of Rehovot. Two thumbs up.

From there we headed to Yafo for the Co-existence program we had arranged through Mishkenot Ruth Seminar Center, part of the Daniel Centers in Tel Aviv. http://www.beit-daniel.org.il/en/tour-seminar-center/

It was outstanding and mesmerizing. An Israeli Jewish woman who works with the Center accompanied the Israeli Arab Muslim man in his 40’s named Ihab. Ihab first took us to the mosque in the neighborhood and gave us a short introduction about the shape, spirituality and meaning of the mosque. He spoke about the valued role of women in Islam, about the oneness of God, and about love as the central theme of true Islam. We could not enter to see the mosque as it was Friday.

Then we walked over to the plaza just outside the Arab-Hebrew Theater of Jaffa. Sitting on the stone benches in the shade, Ihab spent an hour telling us the story of his family, with the Jewish Israeli translating. (Ihab spoke in Hebrew – and I was glad of that because his story was even more amazing and detailed than what anyone could translate.)

Here’s a summary though it cannot do his story justice – you need to meet him and hear it in person some day.

Ihab’s grandparents lived in Jaffa and the extended family was unified and close. That was until 1948 when they had to flee during the War of Independence. Jaffa was being bombed and two of his uncles were killed in the bombing. If I understood, his grandfather fled with the other children, though the grandmother stayed in Jaffa. The family that fled ended up in refugee camps in two different places. After several years, his father of all the siblings was reunited back in Jaffa with his grandmother because Israel allowed those who had immediate family still in Jaffa to return. Other siblings spread out across the globe. The camps had been terrible places to live. Once back in Jaffa, his father who by then was 28, decided to marry and then had seven children. He raised them to hate all Jews, teaching them that the Jews had destroyed his family. All were of course Israeli citizens. Ihab’s father opened a café and had many Jewish customers and Ihab worked there.

As a teenager, Ihab served food to the Jews at the café but with hate in his heart. He wanted to kill them. Yet he knew that his culture also taught that you should honor your guests. He could not understand how to resolve that conflict. Then one day a regular customer, a young man, asked Ihab about his family’s story of living in Jaffa. Ihab shared what Israel had done to his family, destroying its unity, and taking away their city and homes and identity. He told the Jewish man that he hated all Jews. The man answered, I hate all Arabs.

A month later the Jew returned to say he had researched the narrative that Ihab had shared and was surprised to find that much of it (not all) seemed true. He was shocked. The two continued to talk in the café regularly about history and politics. Ihab started talking to other Jews in the café as well. His first Jewish friend invited him to his home, the first time Ihab stepped foot in a Jew’s home. It was in a mixed neighborhood of Jaffa, Jews and Arabs, and Ihab was afraid what his family and friends would say if they saw him with someone Jewish. He went anyway, and soon the two were real friends. They decided to put up posters and call a meeting in Jaffa of Jews and Arabs who wanted to meet and hear each other’s stories. They did not know who would come, but 75 people showed up of all ages. The next year they did it again. With a couple of hundred. It grew from there. They had created a grassroots dialogue group.

For seven years Ihab devoted himself to this effort. A few year into it, his parents gave him an ultimatum – give up talking to Jews or be disowned. He tried to show them how the Koran teaches love but they would not listen. He left but continued to write notes to his mother and after a few years she and his sister agreed to come to one of the big dialogue meetings. They were in tears and so proud of what he was doing. His parents welcomed him back and supported his work. His father would even meet with some Jews that Ihab would bring to meet him so that his father could tell him the story of his suffering face to face.

His parents surprised him one day by inviting him to be the one of his siblings to accompany them on the Hajj – the once in a lifetime pilgrimage to Mecca. He was the only unmarried one but also the most spiritual and religious of the group. He was a very devout Muslim. (Ihab is also a sheikh, which means a leader, specifically a spiritual scholar.) His father also told Ihab that though he had not attended any of the weddings of his other children, since the celebrations had been secular, he would not only come to Ihab’s wedding but even dance at it. Ihab had not had time to think about women in the seven years of his dialogue work. One the way back on the flight from Mecca to Jordan, his father noticed a flight attendant eyeing Ihab and the father took her number and was urging Ihab to propose to her right there on the plane, though Ihab was not interested.

Upon returning to Jaffa, Ihab immediately took off for two weeks to the Negev desert with a group of teens for a dialogue retreat. On his way home a good Jewish friend invited him to go to the Sinai for a vacation with him but Ihab refused because he had not been home in weeks and had so many commitments. He refused because he would have no time to pack, but his friend packed his bags before he even got home. Then he refused because he had not money. The friend said he had 800 shekels and Ihab could have half of it. He then refused because of his commitments, and tried to prove it by calling each of his contacts – but each one of them said “go.” So, he had no choice. He went to the Sinai.

I won’t tell you all the romantic spiritual details. Suffice it to say he saw a woman across a campfire in the Sinai and at that moment he understood what love truly could be. Without a word. He planned a way to run into her the next day, but then slept through the time. He felt God had saved him from loving a Jewish woman, since doing so would have estranged him forever from his family. Still, he ran to check if she was in the tent where she had been staying. She was gone and again he thought God had saved him. However, someone noticed and asked if he was looking for Ora. It was the first time he heard her name. They pointed to another tent and he heard her voice inside talking to an American. He was relieved that God had saved him one more time, since this must mean she had a boyfriend.

That night by chance he sat near her again. This time she looked at him, asked him his age, heard his answer, and then told him he could not touch her until they were married. Three days later they married.

He could not bring himself to tell his family right away. However, he brought Ora and two other Jewish women to hear his father’s stories as he often did. Ora returned a few more times with those friends. Finally, Ihab told his fiather he had married a Jew, though not that it was Ora. His father threw him out again, more violently than the previous time. Howeve, long lost relatives from the Netherlands showed up at Ihab’s home looking for the family and Ihab had an excuse to go back to his father to bring the relatives. His father would let him come with the family to visit until one day when Ihab brought Ora and her friends again. His father complained to the relatives that Ihab had married a Jew, and the relatives said – yes, and Ora is that woman. The father and mother began to cry, his father complaining that he had opened his heart to Ora and now she was taking his son away.

Ora answered: I am not taking him away. I love him for being religious. The parents accepted the marriage and now Ora and Ihab have two children and a third on the way. All will be taught both Judaism (as Ihab says is required of him by Islam) and Islam. At age 18 they will choose their religion.

More than that, in the father’s house is now a nursery school with fifty children: Jews, Christians and Muslims all together. His father is 81 and now embraces co-existence.



To learn more about the co-existence efforts of Ihab’s organization, go to http://www.bismilla.org/?lang=en



Thank you Ihab!

After that amazing encounter, we thanked Ihab and headed back to the Tel Aviv neighborhood of the Arts & Crafts Fair and Carmel market for lunch and shopping on our own, followed by free time until meeting up to head to Kehillat Yonatan in a little while for Kabbalat Shabbat. More to come including the photos from today, after Shabbat!

Shabbat Shalom to all.



(written after Shabbat)

Shavua Tov to all. Just to finish up Friday's amazing day. We shared a beautiful Shabbat with Rabbi Mickey Boyden and Kehillat Yonatan in Hod Hasharon. The congregation meets in the synagogue on the campus of the Alexander Muss High School. They have no members, and no membership fee. Just Jews who come and pray, or attend amazing lectures. Rabbi Boyden oriented the group to Reform Judaism in Israel then led a beautiful Kabbalat Shabbat service. Nancy S. from our group was invited up to light Shabbat Candles. We loved singing with the congregation - and about 2/3 of the melodies were same as back home at Temple Beth-El

After the service there was some Israeli singing of songs related to the upcoming holiday of Shavuot. Then - dinner. Including homemade challah and many veggie/dairy dishes made by the congregants. There were wonderful conversations between our group and the Israelis, including a young woman, Talia, who is one year into her army service. However, one of the highlights of the evening was Lauren and Bob meeting Chayim - who mentioned that his brother and sister-in-law live in New Jersey. Small world: his sister-in-law was the educator at the temple where Lauren and Bob's children went to religious school. They know her very well!

A lovely Friday evening.

---

Photos

Outside Kehillat Yonatan
On campus of Alexander Muss High School before Shabbat. With Mark/Gordy on the far left.

Lauren makes a connection
Meets the brother-in-law (Chayim) of the woman from Westfield who was the temple educator where her children were educated!

Comments

[Betsy Roter]

Hi Uncle Harvey and Aunt Shirley!
We hope you are having a great time! Love to all. Love, Betsy, Marc, Lucas and Asa