Its been a while

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Hey everyone!
Wow it's been a while since I actually wrote anything - sorry!! Things around here have been really really hectic! Let me try and catch you all up...

About a month ago, the trip took a trip to Poland to study about the Holocaust. Throughout the week we visited the Cracow and Warsaw Ghettos, cemetaries and synagogues in Cracow, Warsaw and Lublin, sites from Jewish life before the Holocaust, and went to the Auschwitz-Birkenau and Maedonick Camps. The week was really hard for all of us, and we all reacted to the things we saw in different ways. As our teacher kept telling us, there really is no way to understand all that happened - to be able to say why or how these events came to pass. He didn't understand and he didn't expect to be able to explain to us any better. He was just able to tell us what happened. To top the week off, it was miserably cold and freezing-rained every day. I did not write in my journal too much that week. However here are a few excerpts:

After visiting Maedonick on the second day:
"Stepping off the bus at Maedonick, the wind gusts with a ferocity that whips any and all exposed skin mercilessly. The freezing rain patters against the umbrellas that have sprung up in a vain attempt at protection. They walk towards the camp.
"Eyes kept on the ground and the expanding fields around them, the first building goes unnoticed. The kommandant house is white. Removed.
"The freezing rain falls. The stinging wind blows. They walk on.
"The path leads to a gas chamber.
"She walks inside. Around her, she sees people taking off their clothes. Huddling together. Scared. She and her group walk to the next room. Above her she sees shower heads. SHe hears sighs of relief. Her breathing hardens. They walk to the next room. Blue splotches. Holes inthe ceiling. Guard lookout. This is what they sighed for, all those years ago.
"With heavy winter clothing, the umbrellaed group exits the gas chamber, something few Jews have ever done.
"The freezing rain falls. The stinging wind blows. They walk on.
"Toes beginning to go numb. They walk into the first barrack. Maps. Pictures. The model stretches on.
"Toes beginnig to ache. They walk into the next barrack
"Shoes.
"She breathes in sharply. They had said there would be belongings. She found shoes. Crates upon crates of shoes. Line the walls. Create aisles. Brown from dirt and time. Thrown together to be lost, not found.
"Each shoe has its story. The child had just learned how to tie his. Those were the lady's finest heels. His girlfriend hated when he wore these. Tears stream. She can't stop. There's no escape. She walks through the aisles. She sees the stories.
"They see she's upset. They comfort her. She must keep walking.
"Outside is as cold as ever. There is no where to go. No where to run. No shelter. She shakes with silent sobs.
"Blanket. Bunkbeds. Gas. Search table. Oven. Chimney. The images blur.
"Mountain of ashes
"Wind. Rain. Snow.
"Sadness. Anger. Despair. Hope.
"The feelings overwhelm eachother as they wander through the camp. Each consumes the other with a vengeance.
"Kaddish. To Remember. To NOT FORGET."

After returning from Poland:
"After completely breaking down in Maedonick the second day, I kept expecting to cry. I was just waiting for the waves of tears to come again. They didn't.
"Instead I just kept getting tired. It took too much energy to be mad and angry and sad every time, so I just felt nothing. Especially at Auschwitz. I knew that on some level I was upset, indignant, all of the above, but I was empty. I went from room to room, barrack to barrack, in and out of the crematoria......wanting to cry, feeling like I should, but I just couldn't."



When we got back from Poland we had about 2 days to relax and then went straight to Gadna. Gadna is a program done by the Israeli Army to show youth a taste of what it will be like when they join the army. We were put into Tzvatim, given uniforms and equipment (consisting of canteens, a coat, a gerrycan and a stretcher). We slept in tents. There was a specific way to make our beds, roll the tents, greet our commander, greet our comander's commanders, you name it. We had opening and closing ceremonies. And here's the kicker - it was ALL IN HEBREW!! EIE had been divided into 3 Tzvatim, and the three kids in the top Hebrew class (me, Tal and Matti) were divided among the groups to translate. I was made the official translator when the entire group was together.......talk about nerveracking!!! By then end of the week, I swore off all translating ever again......but being in Israel, you can imagine how well THAT'S worked out........
Throughout the week, we learned how to get up, get dressed and make our beds in under 20 minutes, make camp off base, pazatzta (hit the deck), how to run away from a grenage, how to count off, how to make camoflauge, how to shoot a gun (yes, I can officially say I know how to shoot a n M-16.....I'm a horrible shot, though! We had about a day and a half of straight of safety lessons, learning the parts of the gun, etc.....it meant no activity, but LOTS of translating for me....), we had kitchen and bathroom cleaning duty and lots more....
we also had lessons on the importance of the IDF and Israel. The week was not obviously fun - there was a LOT to complain about. And I slept soundly each night, that's for sure!! But in the end, it was fun.


Now finals week is about to start. The 4 months are almost over. We've started thinking about going back to the states. about seeing our family and friends again. It's weird to think about how in less than 2 weeks, I won't be able to see the people I've been living with every day. It's bittersweet - I want to go back to my friends and family and home. But I don't want to leave my friends and family and home here.

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Comments

[Meg]

Oh My
Oh my Rachel, that certainly is some powerful stuff, very deeply moving. Quite impressed with your writing style- you sure you had the same English teacher as me last year? Anyway, thank you for sharing all of this with me, I know it probably wasn't that easy. Can't wait for you to get back, and love you sooooo much!