Tour and beyond

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South America now lies months behind, and yet I have been home for hardly 5 nights since. As a result I have decided (even though the only readers left are those in the know) to keep you all abrest with my nomadic movements.

Whist travelling I was asked to join the ESYO on tour to Spain, Burgos and Barcelona.

Orchestra tours vary slightly from each other, but not much. You drink at every opportunity you have, and maybe slightly more on some tours than others, but generally the aim is to get as much of the local amber nectar down your throat as you can at the locally cheaper prices, whilst still being able to play music to as good a standard as you need for the concerts. I cynically say 'as good a standard as you need' though really of course I, a highly conscientious musician, mean 'as good a standard as you deem the unprepared local audience can cope with'. Sometimes you find yourself the unprepared one, but with no disrespect, in Spain you are fairly safe!

So much fun was had. I'll just give you one little story that really sums up the tour for the three elders of us in the orchestra. On a multi-coach tour there is always a 'cool coach' or 'party bus' that considers itself the hub of social activity, and being the geek I am, I had little hope of finding myself on this set of wheels, so myself and the other two sages decided to rule the backseat of one of the less fashionable buses. Coach politics sounds petty, but as any youth toured musician can tell you 15% of your time is spent sleeping, 15% in rehearsals or concerts, 10% eating accompanied by those that you happen (mistakenly or otherwise to have sat down next to) and probably 35% travelling, leaving you only 15% (most of which ought really to belong to the sleeping slice) for your all important socialising. Given this divide of the pie it is one of the most important considerations to be on a coach of your appropriate social standing. Anyway, we were happy. On one particular 9 hour (scheduled as 6) coach journey from Madrid to Barcelona we decided it might be of some ammusement to have a little party at the back. For this was needed a big bag of oranges, one smaller of limes, several cartons of orange juice, 10 500ml ex-water-bottles (initially intended for bus aisle skittles), one guitar, a song book with the words to all your favourite beatles tunes in Catalan, newspaper hats, Queen's greatest hits and finally the all important 6 litres of the cheapest wine you can find!

Sangria is one of the easiest drinks to consume, and has the amazing ability to transform bad wine into something worthy, whilst simultaneously destroying iwne of any vintage. While all others were disillusioned with the length of the journey, we had ourselves a wonderful time and surprised everyone when we stumbled from the bus in giggles and smiles to a late dinner that turned out to be too late for going on out in Barcelona.

As I say you have to take every chance you have to drink the local beverage!


Also whilst touring I was offered the honourable duty of accompanying Jimmy G and his show at the Edinburgh Festival in the position of Marketing Officer in Edinburgh (or Moe if your a simpsons fan). This job of course turned out to be as glamorous as its yellow cartoon namesake in that it entailed 'flyering', well out of the limelight and only on the cloud shadowed or street lit byways of the fine scottish capital. Flyering, by the way, has recently been included in the Edinburgh Festive Dictionary as derived from the verb to flyer (to have flown in past tense) defined as 'to force unwanted indescript leaflets (or flyers) onto all and any of the many uninterested passerbys on any given (probably busy street)'. It will also go on to explain that it suggests 'simply leaving out the middle-man and dumping said flyers into the nearest recycling bin and thereby maybe at least saving a percentage of the flyers from loss by being dropped, roached or discarded in some other unimpressed manner'. The festival is held responsible for the destruction of a Royal Mile of rainforest each year.

The show went swimmingly, well by fringe standards. With an average of 2-9 (either are quotable depending on how badly your show is going) people per fringe show per night (per week can be used here if in real dire straights!) then Navy Pier's 20 average is really quite respectable. Of course an average of 5 per night were people we knew, but bums are bums and all take up seats. Fat bottomed girls make the theatrical world go round.

5 stars on the opening night and a promoter interested (please confirm Jimmy if this is true) in a London transfer were the real stamps of excellence of course that comes well behind my original mark of approval: 'I saw it last night for the first time and was shocked to find it not a mumbled student production but rather a fully professional outfit'. Now surely at the fringe that is all you need to know.

I stayed with Joanna (my godmother) and was well supplied with wine and food at almost every time of day as well as being treated like a veritable King. If your reading this then thankyou so much and see you next year for the same again, right?

But the scottish adventure doesn't end there, myself and James continued north supposedly to write a play. All we be revealed, explained and confessed next time.

x

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