Is this real?

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Have you ever heard of Carnivale in Italy? If you haven't google it. And that is where I was this weekend! But before I got there, I had a pretty epic weekend in general, so let me tell you about it.

THURSDAY.

Thursday was my Italian midterm and I must be the first to admit that grammar never really was my strong point...and mind you I almost wrote half of the vocab in German...but hopefully I did okay. I had a makeup class that day also so between the two situations...I was more than ready to hit the town by my last class (which ended at 9 pm...rough.). We did the typical night out by starting at Dempseys, but the difference is it is actually getting nicer outside, so when people go to Dempseys they go outside when it is actually warm enough to enjoy yourself. Jules had a hilarious encounter with an Italian guy who fell in love with her randomly. He bought her a flower, posed for pictures carrying her bridal style...and pretty much just made us all crack up for a good 20 minutes. After that, lunabar until 230 to dance the night away and by then (because I woke up at 6 am to study for my midterm...like the good student I am ;D ) I was ready to go home. But as I was about to walk back one of my friends from my group really wanted to go to Velvet (the dance club) so Jules and I both ended up tagging along. Before we knew it we were walking home at 4:30 in the morning having to be at a class trip at 830 am. By the time we went to bed at 530 in the morning...well, needless to say the next morning was a litttleeee rough. But looking back now, it was well worth it!

FRIDAY.

Waking up the morning after was rough but so hilarious. Jules and I were so delirious that we spent half the morning just cracking up at each other! Jules and I are becoming really good friends, which is awesome to have when you are in a foreign country. Anyway, back to the school trip. It was with my Saints and Sinners class and the teacher is so funny. Picture a short, new york born, passionate art history teacher and you have Adrian Hoch. She isn't trying to be funny ever, but the way she goes about things makes me crack up every single class. haha she is great. So we spent the day in Assisi looking at different churches and different places which was really interesting. We saw where both St. Francis and St. Claire died, the homes of both of those Saints, and a bunch of different important historic places. Personally the class itself can be a little boring...okay extremely boring. But when we actually go out and see the things that we learn about I get so fascinated by it all. So after a tiring, yet momentous day in Assisi with Adrian, Jules and I hopped on a train to Florence which was the first time we had really traveled alone together (which is what we are doing for most of spring break next weekend) so it was a good experience. It wasn't hard by any means, but it was just good to go through the motions by ourselves. We got into Florence at around 930 where we met up with roommates and ate dinner. By that time Jules and I were so dead, I almost fell asleep at the dinner table. But all in all, it was a great day.

SATURDAY!

CARNIVALE!!! Finally! We had been looking forward to this for such a long time! It took about three hours to get to Venice from Florence but it wasn't a hassle at all due to the fact that we saved money and struggles by booking a bus from a thing called Bus2Alps. Let me just say that Venice is everything that the pictures show it to be. It was romantic, it was festive, and it was everything that I had hoped it would be. The moment we got there we had to hop on a waterbus to go to San Marino where all of the action was and from there, it was honestly like a dream. Okay so there were big crowds, mean people in the cafe, and it smelled kind of bad, but I have learned that every situation is what you make of it and in Venice I was most definitely living in a dream. It was my favorite city by far. Everywhere you looked was like a landscape or beautiful architecture that was decorated by the glow of the canals. It was as if I had literally stepped into a picture of Venice, as is the case with many parts of Italy. The gondolas, the buildings, the water...it was the perfect setting. I never have been in a more romantic place. I wish I could describe this place for you in more detail...I know that my facebook pictures will not come close to capturing the vast beauty that is Venice. It was a beautiful day, to top it all off. The streets were busting with people who were eager to take pictures of every inch of this city. If you have never been to this place, it is definitely something to put on your bucket list. Ride in a gondola was on my list, and I actually got to check that off! Being in a gondola in the middle of Venice, sipping sparking wine with my good friends, I couldn't help but stop and ask myself...is this real? Is this really happening right now? Am I really here, in one of the most romantic, beautiful places in the world during one of the biggest celebrations in Italy? Wow. How lucky am I? On the way back home today Jules, Bridget and I were talking about life in general (which happens often, which is the reason why I love train rides so much) and we just discussed how fortunate we are to be here and how when we were little our parents always told us that one day we would appreciate everything that we had because there are people out there who aren't as fortunate. And to be honest, college really did make me appreciate everything in my life; my family, my friends, the opportunities that I have been presented with...everything! I am so blessed to even be going to college, nonetheless be going to college in ITALY. College really has helped open my eyes, but being in Italy has made me perceive everything in a whole new light. Having to ring out laundry because we don't have a dryer, not knowing if we will have heat or hot water when we wake up, and not having any technology (for the most part) in our apartments...it does something to a person. I wish I could explain it without sounding like a total fool, but this experience has been something that is not only showing me things that I have never dreamed of, but it is also pushing me outside my comfort zone in a way that is helping me to develop who I want to be. Being independent is so important to me. In order to be what I want to be in the future, I need to make decisions now for myself. Studying abroad in general was the first big decision, and now I am slowly starting to develop my character it seems. I just have this new look on everything, it is kind of hard to explain. It is a really good thing though, that's for sure.

But anyway, back to Carnivale. Along with the beauty of the whole place, Carnivale added so much pizazz to it all! There were people everywhere dressed up in ridiculous costumes! I saw everything from Venetian characters to the Ghost Busters! It was so much fun just to walk around the main square dancing and talking and meeting new people at night. There were different festivities going on but one of the only ones we actually went to was the wine fountain which was a huge fountain (like a historic fountain that you would expect to find in Italy) but it was spewing out red wine! It was so cool! It wasn't a big event, but that we a must-do for us. After that we went on a gondola ride which was absolutely worth the 18 euro that is was per person for a short ride around the canals. Our gondolier was singing Lady Gaga to himself which made the experience that much more awesome! All in all, it was a spectacular day.
We wanted to stay longer, but the bus trip was only a day trip, so we said our last goodbyes to Venice and boarded the bus to Florence.

It was such a good weekend. I wish I could explain it better. To tell you the truth, half of the reason why I had such a great time was the people that I was with. I am becoming so close to my roommates, which is one of the best parts about this trip. I can be my ridiculous self around them and feel totally comfortable, which is saying a lot! Before we go out at nights we dance around like crazy, sing to Broadway musicals and attempt to harmonize to songs from Glee! It is such a good time, an even better time then I could have ever imagine me having over here. When I came here I did expect to meet new friends, see beautiful places, and grow a little bit as a person, but I had never expected all of this. The relationships, the experiences, and the self-reflection that I have been through over the past month have been to an extent that I never even though was possible! I am sorry if it sounds like I am babbling a little bit, it's just that I have lots to say but am running on very little sleep, so please bear with me!

On the train on the way to Florence we met a girl who came over to us who was also going to Carnivale. She really reminded me of my cousin Jordan, and at the end of our conversation I found out her name actually was Jordan, which was a funny coincidence I thought. As we continued our small talk she told us that she is in Italy because she is a Nanny for a year in Foligno. That blew my mind!I thought that this was an experience that was outside of my comfort zone, but coming over here with no one to work for an Italian family?! That is awesome! I was so impressed by that and it really got me thinking. Calm down, Mom. I know what you are thinking. I am NOT going to be a Nanny for a year in Italy, but yes, it did make me think about spending some time over here after I graduate. And that shouldn't be a surprise, since that has always been part of my plan. I have been thinking a lot about my plan lately. I know I am young (not even 20!) but I am in college. I am going to be a junior. And I think it is time that I really start thinking about what I want. This semester has opened up my eyes to so much, and I want to experience everything I can. Today Bridget was telling me this story about her friend that left such an impression on me. The moral of the story was that you shouldn't hold grudges against people. Life is too short to be angry with someone because you never know! There may not be a tomorrow. And that got me thinking too. That is one thing that I am working on doing when I am here; forgiveness. And I promise, it is harder than it sounds. That thought ties into what I have been developing for my life plan. I know that when I graduate, I want to do something that will help me decide what area of business I want to get my masters in. And to be honest, I would not be opposed to looking at my options abroad. After I get my MBA I know that I want to travel before I settle down. I want to be stable in my job and have enough money and time to be able to see and experience different things so that I can really decide where I want to settle down, when I finally do. My biggest fear is to me narrow-minded. I don't want to limit my options in my life. That is another thing this has taught me; there are more options than I ever thought were possible. Regardless I may end up living in Mount Bethel for the rest of my life; I do love it there and most importantly my family is there. But if I do settle down there, I want to make that decision knowing that I have explored all of my other options! I have so many goals for my life, and to be honest right now they are all kind of scattered and shaky, but at least I have goals, at least I am thinking of goals! I think that is important.

I am so sorry, that probably sounds like a bunch of babble, but I hope that you kind of see what I am saying. What I am saying is that this semester has already made me start to develop goals to make decisions and to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life! For those of you who care enough to read me babble on for 2300 words, let me tell you one last thing: right now, I am so happy. I am trying hard to develop myself and to gain a little more confidence. Yes, relationship wise I am more confused than I have ever been in my life, and that is a daily struggle, but all in all, this whole thing, being here in Italy, is the best thing that I have ever done for myself. No regrets, only experiences. I don't mean to sound selfish, because that is the last thing I want to be. But for the past few months I have been struggling so much. If you didn't notice, I was a little bit of a mess. I was confused and upset and angry, and I just don't want to be that way anymore. That just isn't...me! So here I am, in Italy, just...trying to get myself together. Because that is the only thing that is in my control. I need to focus on myself before I can focus on other people. That isn't to say that I am not caring about everyone else because I really am! ...Maybe caring too much. And to a lot of you, that won't make sense. But to some it will. And for those of you who are wondering about my love life (aka Granny) just know that I have come to terms with the fact that I just need to make myself happy before I can really be happy with someone else. And from the mindset that I was in when I got here to the mindset I am in now, that is a really important thing to grasp, it's a process.

But I miss you all so much! There are so many things that I am missing at home like Brendan's solo and other things that are even more exciting that I wish I could be there for! But I will see you all really soon <3

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