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Published: September 22nd 2013
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Hello all,
I recognize that I have been slightly lax in my bloggerly duties. I am so sorry.
Right, so I have moved in, started fresher’s week, finished fresher’s week, and started classes.
That’s a lot. It already feels like I’ve been here forever. When I say that, I mean it in the best possible way. I apologize to all those who were secretly hoping I’d be so homesick I’d have to quit after the first two days
*cough* mom
*cough*.
Considering the sheer bulk of activities that have occurred in the past 14ish days, this blog post is less of a summary, and more of a compilation of things I have learned recently.
1. The Scots can and will continually make fun of a Canadian accent.
2. Having said that, they are a very welcoming and kind bunch.
3. Peanut butter is not widely and permanently available.
4. Neither is microwave popcorn.
5. Butter Chicken is not called Butter Chicken.
6. If you mention Butter Chicken and claim that it is Indian food, your posh English friend will look down
on you.
7. Your posh English friend is a jerk.
8. Lectures at nine in the morning are not as engaging as lectures at noon.
9. Medical students can out drink any other type of student and will do so regularly.
10. Medical students recover remarkably quickly.
11. Scottish people are Scottish, not British. They will inform you of this even if you do not claim that they are British.
12. People will listen to you rant about Hogwarts House Unity and the injustice of house stereotypes the first time, but not the third.
13. James I/VI united Scotland and England on paper only. Both countries had very separate government systems.
14. There is a boy named Craig who is studying German, French, and Spanish who had family in Barrie and has driven through Richmond Hill.
15. Craig is a huge fan of Canadian money.
16. Craig rocks.
17. A way to make friends is to meet them on the first day, then proceed to drag them through a poorly lit tunnel in a foreign city six hours later.
18. Beer is gross.
19. There is a
club called Hive that is the most disgusting place on earth.
20. Hive has stuff dripping off the walls. No one is positive about the nature of the stuff, but all agree that it is vaguely sticky.
21. People will go to Hive anyway because they have cheap drinks.
22. You will be dragged there. It will be gross.
23. The only way to fully enjoy Hive is to be off your face.
24. You will not enjoy Hive.
25. The most compelling pro-choice philosophical argument is the “Future Like Ours” argument.
26. Everyone loves both Monty Python and The Princess Bride.
27. Being able to quote word for word the entirety of the latter will be considered impressive, but also mildly weird.
28. Professors are allowed to swear.
29. If you complain about your annoying, posh English friend enough, people will believe that the two of you are secretly in love.
30. They will be so positive about the unspoken attraction that they will put money on it.
31. Complaining about your annoying, posh English friend is a viable way to make money.
32. The food
in the cafeteria sucks. A lot.
33. French fries are best consumed at two in the morning.
34. There is a lot a student will put up with if you promise them there will be free pizza.
35. Dominos delivers until three in the morning.
36. Pizza places give you free garlic sauce. It’s amazing.
37. Ceilidhs are dangerous places and, while they are very enjoyable, you’d better be wearing decent shoes because otherwise, your toenail will be ripped off.
38. If people leave anything edible in a public area, it is free game for others in said area.
39. Every story you tell is made better with the addition of dragons.
40. Canadian suburban hood rat slang does not translate well to Scotland.
41. Poutine is foreign and people will mistake it for a less appetizing word.
42. The laundry machine makes a very comfy seat.
43. Time doesn’t work the same way here. Two weeks will feel like a month.
44. Free food is the best food.
45. Free food unites everyone.
46. Same applies to beer.
47. Hoard your coupons.
48. Dominos gives out free pizzas during Fresher’s Week.
49. You will tell bad jokes. It will not go over well. People will look at you funny.
50. Relationship drama occurs really quickly at university.
51. Nandos is a great place.
52. Your mother’s cooking is holy.
53. So is your father’s for that matter.
54. Basically any cooking that is both good and free is holy.
55. Laundry is stupid and if you can take it home, you really should.
56. Boys have no idea how to do their own laundry.
57. If you meet a guy who is in love with one of your friends, it is okay to go with him to a house party filled with people you don’t know provided you do not go alone and provide your own drinks because that’s where you meet people named Craig who are awesome.
58. The people you meet while at dinner are also awesome.
59. Climbing up Arthur’s Seat at midnight seems like a good idea at the time, and the view is lovely, but it’s dark, it’s windy, it’s cold, and there are possible murderers lurking at the foot of Arthur’s Seat that will freak you out on your way down.
60. Shout-quoting Shakespeare at possible murderers is really not advisable.
61. The sheer amount of Shakespeare that a group of ten people, none of whom are studying Literature, can come up with is rather remarkable.
62. If you try to fit 11 people in an eight-person lift at four in the morning, the lift will break and you will be trapped for two hours.
63. That is why you go to sleep.
64. I am capable of rational decisions, which is why I was not one of those trapped in a lift.
65. Sleep is godly.
66. Uni kids sleep more than babies.
67. Swiss kids have the cutest first kiss stories.
68. Canadians have the most embarrassing ones.
69. No one can dance.
70. People will forgive you if you punch them in the face by accident.
71. But they won’t let you forget it.
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Father
non-member comment
Learning
I thought you were going there to learn history, not to make it.