Back in London, Thank God

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Here's an interesting thing about Birmingham. They're all for tourism, but on their own terms. We turned up at the Jewellery Quater Museum to have a look around...
-Oh I'm sorry, the last tour just left (Museum lady)
-I didn't know there was a tour, I thought it was a museum. (me)
-Well, the last one for the day has left, I'm sorry.
-Ok...
-You can have a look on the first floor, but the tour has gone.
-Right, well, can I book for the tour tomorrow?
-No, you can't book a tour, you have to be over 10
-I'm 28
-No, over 10 people
-Oh, well, how do I get on a tour
-Turn up tomorrow, if there's room, you can go.
hmmm. Interesting. Oh well, you live and learn. What I've learnt here is that oddly enough the museum is in fact a tour, which you can't book unless you turn up for it, if you turn up you may or may not be able to go based upon availability. Next up, the "Back to Backs". A charming little area of Birmingham which has been preserved in the squalid condition that it's inhabitants originally lived in...
-Hi, two adults please
-Oh I'm sorry, the last tour just left
-I didn't know there was a tour, I thought it was a museum.
-Well, the last one for the day has left, I'm sorry.
-Right, well, can I book for the tour tomorrow?
-No, you can't book a tour
hmmm. Curiouser and even more curious. Well, Birmingham is famous for it's canals. Apparantly more canals than Venice. There are meant to be great trips available. Our trusty maps argued about two different areas that were offering the tour, so we believed the one we found in Birmingham (local knowledge and all that) and headed to Gas Street Basin. Now if I were a company, I would put up signs advertising my business. Apparantly, not in Birmingham. Sure there were a bunch of narrow boats, none of them advertising that they were offering tours. The insideous voice of our other map began calling to us, so we headed over the other direction. Nothing. We found another map, a sign post one with a big friendly "You are here" dot on it. It agreed with our first map (collaboration between the locals), so we headed back to Gas Street Basin. Well, it was on our way home anyways. Whilst on our way there, we notice a narrow boat obviously set up for tourism ie seats and windows everywhere instead of flower pots and kettles. They pulled up to an ordinary part of the canal - no sign, nothing different, no indication that this is where you wait for a tour. Ahhh haaa. Well, too late for a tour now, we have a date with Bournville and the Cadbury factory.
This at least did not disappoint. I guess this is about as close to Wonka's Chocolate Factory as anyone is likely to get. Let me put it like this. We stepped out of the train and were about one kilometer from the factory. Even so, we couldn't smell the diesel from the train (mostly I guess because it was an electric train), we couldn't smell oil, trash, toilets etc etc (the usual train station smells). What we could smell was a warm, full, friendly, heavy smell of chocolate. Wait, make that Chocolate. Yeah, it needs the capital. The smell only got better as we got closer. I'm sure you can put on weight just by breathing around here. What next? Factory tour, free chocolate, making our own chocolate, liquid chocolate directly from their factory pipes and finally the factory shop - cheap chocolate.
The next day we were at the Jewellery museum bright and early. First in gets the tour and all. The tour was indeed worth the wait. 100 year old factory equivalent of the Marie Celeste. In 1980 they changed the laws here (British version of OSH came into play). Upgrading the equipment would cost too much, upgrading the factory would cost more. The factory had both Historic Places Protection and a Dilapidation Order against it, so no buyers would be interested. The management informed the staff on Monday that come Friday, they were all out of a job. So, come Friday, they all downed tools and walked out. No one, touched it for nearly 10 years. Birmingham council bought it as a museum and inventoried the stock and tools, some of which date back to before 1900. The museum today is exactly as it was found. Well, not quite - they dusted.
Anyway, that's that for Birmingham. I have actually heard an English phrase on t.v. connected with Birmingham: "As good as a beauty contest in Birmingham". They were describing the chance of the weather being sunny tomorrow...

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