Birmingham

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It's been a while since I last wrote. Since many people want to know I'll let you know what Cheri has been up to. She has been working for Rotary Watches. They are a brand of Watch (apparantly they're a superbrand which puts them in the same league with the likes of McDonalds - however I've never heard of them, Rotary that is, not McDonalds). Anyway, they sell all around the world in all different currencies and as is the case everywhere these days, a lot of data ends up in Excel. Many, many different files. Cheri's job has been to update, simplify and expand their library of files. Sounds like fun. However, she works on Regent Street (of Monopoly fame) which is nearly entirely comprised of clothing shops and she comes along Oxford Street (also of Monopoly fame) to get to work, which is the main shopping street of London. So far she hasn't spent all of her earnings before coming home, however I'm sure somethings gotta give sooner or later.
What about me? Well, daily I browse the job websites and practice my writing skills (fictional). I receive the odd phone call from job agencies and pracitice my sales pitch. I have a lot of free time. Well I don't actually. Since I do have some time on my hands, I've decided to take up a research project. Currently I am researching (from original footage - which in cases date back 40 years) my position on the grand debate Kirk v Picard.
This weekend is a bank holiday weekend, Cheri and I decided that we needed a break from our jobs and .... ahem, research, well anyway, we needed a break. We decided to test the mini-break waters with a nice easy one - Birmingham. The second largest city in Britain, post industrial and nothing to do. That's the description from the guide book. Seriously. However, we knew better. You see, there is the odd building to look at (Selfridges - photo in our album, it's the one with silver plates all over it), some canals you can go for a tour on, an entire section of the city given over to jewellery and most importantly only 15 mins in the train from Bournville - which is where the Cadbury factory is situated.
The day started well. Too well in fact, I was starting to think I was living someone else's life. You know how you always hear about people who have everything go right for them, it just falls in to place. Well, I've never been accused of being that guy. Actually I have, but it isn't the norm. Anyway, we caught the tube to Euston, only 13 mins apparantly and it was in fact, 13 mins. We went to pick up our preordered tickets and... no problems there either. Nearly straight away, the train was ready for boarding and the journey on time. So when we got to Birmingham (on time) it was almost a relief that we got heinously and completely lost. Birmingham isn't big. We had two maps. We knew that we were within 1 km of our hotel. We couldn't find it. We're not talking a crud little back alley hotel either, we booked this on Wotif.com and got a bargain with The Copthorne. Normally, they're huge and you can see them from anywhere. Not today. Interestingly we could however walk in a straight line from the train station and end up at the train station. The same train station. While we couldn't find our hotel, we did find: the bull ring (huge mall thingy), victoria square, the bull ring again, the train station again, the bull ring once more, the train station again for good measure, victoria square (because we'd only seen it once and the memory was getting hazy) and then we found a contradiction so severe I was surprised the Universe didn't implode. A parking attendant asked us if we were lost and then pointed out our hotel and gave us perfect directions for getting there. I was stunned. I thought these guys took the job because the hated people. When you get the results from those job tests they give you school (well I've heard of such things but never taken one myself), I'm sure they replace the title of "physchopath" with "parking attendant". Maybe Birmingham is outside the bounds of the natural universe, that would explain why I had so much trouble with the map.

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