Dangerous Drangonballs

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Hi Everyone,

This one goes to a shortened list today for professional reasons (I feel so hypocritical), so guys at dorcas st, please don't distribute this one all willy nilly 😊

I am back in london now, and it feels odd. I thought it would feel more familiar but it feels as foreign as anywhere else I've been thus far. But I have consolation in being shacked up at the hilton now. Gosh life is difficult sometimes....

Before I continue about my time in Portugal, I do have a dilemma that I hope a few will be able to assist with. I'm going to Glastonbury next week, and more and more people are telling me I need to rough it, otherwise I won't be getting the full experience. Logistics of it I can cover no worries, and I have been assured from former festivalgoers it is quite safe because the festival folk there are all lovely people 😊 However, I still have lingering doubts. Can I have votes of yay or nay please to help me decide? Cheers...

Ok, my journey from Portugal leaves Lisbon, and heads down to Albufeira, this resort town in the south of Portugal.

Albufeira has its pros and cons. One of the definite pros is the weather's gorgeous. One of the definite cons is the place is crawling with brits and the place fully caters for them.

I've noticed the brits are slowling taking over the Iberian peninsula, and you'll find them in the west on the Canary Islands and Albufeira, and all the way to the east in Valencia, Barcelona and of course in Ibiza and Mallorca.

This 'imperialism by tourism' does have its effect on the local population, and the main streets all house numerous souvenir shops, english and irish pubs and sports bars. Albufeira is sadly no different.

You head to the beach or hotel swimming pool, and there will be lobster coloured brits, and that unmistakeable aroma of coconut oil and searing english flesh. Never mind that some are topless, you just won't be interested. You head down to the hotel lobby at 10am in the morning and you'll find a stag party of brits just recovering from the previous night....with another beer in hand.

It's like the English idea of a perfect holiday is England, but where the weather's warmer and where everything's cheaper. So, how about we move england south into Spain and Portugal? What a grand idea!!

That being said, I did enjoy Albufeira, but more for the company and the events of what happened rather than the place.

We started the day around noon and headed down to the beach for a bit of sun and surf. As I lay down on my banana lounge, underneath a straw-thatched beach umbrella in 30 degree heat, I couldn't help but think of you guys back in Melbourne. If only you guys could have been there. I have a photo of the view from my banana lounge. All I can see is my thatched umbrella and blue sky stretching out to infinity. I haven't just laid on a beach with nothing to do for so long, it was just glorious. I was having another one of those 'don't have to be anywhere else but here right now' experiences.

After spending the afternoon on the beach, we retired back to the hotel before heading out for a bite to eat. A few of us were keen to try authentic Peri-peri chicken as opposed to Nando's, and we have come short every single time. Most of them were ok, but nando's was still pretty good in comparison. I suppose it's like saying you want to try an authentic hamburger....

After Dinner, we proceeded to hit the bars and clubs. Now, the bars and clubs are also crawling with brits, but generally all around the 19 years of age mark. Mind you a few of us were feeling our age 😊

So rather than mingle with kids we decided to have a go at the local alcohol on offer. Now, a word of warning when you order drinks in spain and portugal. When ordering spirits, Spain and Portugal do not have shot glasses, so you will never get a measured 30mls of alcohol in your drink. They prescribe to the 'freepour' principle which means your glass is at least half full (but usually around 2/3 full) of spirits.

Michael (another tour buddy) and I had a decidedly short night of drinking after we put ourselves through the following within 45 minutes:
- a B52 (shooter)
- a local cocktail which was blue (and known as a big CK)
- a vodka & red bull
- and lastly, a dragonball (another shooter)

After the first three, we were still travelling quite well. It's only the last drink that really put us over the edge. My advice is NEVER try a dragonball, it's really quite lethal....and this is why.

A dragonball is a shooter consisting of: tequila, sambuca and absinthe. Absinthe is banned in Australia because it's made from a plant that has hallucinogenic properties.

Now the way to make and drink a dragonball is thus:
- Get a brandy balloon. Place 3 'freepour' shots of each alcohol in the glass.
- Light it on fire
- Place your hand on top of the glass and shake it around. The burning alcohol forms a vacuum against your hand.
- Remove hand and drink concoction in one swoop.
- place hand immediately back on top of the glass
- get a straw to suck in the remaining alcoholic fumes that haven't escaped from the glass.

Half an hour later, we both felt like we had hangovers, and bars with spinning lights or mirror balls were making it really difficult to stay upright. After that, Michael and I were on coke and water for the rest of the night 😊

However, this didn't stop us from entering a karaoke bar at 3 in the morning and me belting out 'pretty woman' and singing a duet of 'you're the one that I want' with Jo (another person on tour). That and Lisa insisting that we play connect 4 as well (why a karaoke bar has connect 4 on their tables I'll never know. No, I wasn't hallucinating). After losing half a dozen games straight to her, I'd decided we'd had enough and we all staggered back to the hotel.

Kids, don't play with alcohol. It's strictly for grown ups who wish to act like children.

I've had enough everyone. I'm sapped of strength. I will come back to it when I feel more energetic.

cheers,
Ben

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