A Gringo in London

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First, being English and all i'd like to complain about the weather!


ITS BLOODY FREEZING!!!!!!!


I thought La Paz was cold, but this is just stupid. I really had forgotten how bad England was during the wintertime. My hands (surely literally) froze three times today! THREE TIMES!!!

Well, if you didn't know already, i'm back home in the UK for a short holiday and a fix if Branston Pickle (chunky as the new squirty smooth ones defeat the whole point of true Branston). After a 'delightful' 32 hour journey to Lima from La Paz i had another seven or so hours to wait for my flight home - via Canada - then seven more in Toronto for my connecting flight - sooooo after two and a half days and much boredom after leaving Bolivia i get into London at some hour in the morning. Nothing much else to say except i seem to have lost a Wednesday somewhere during that journey.

My girlfriend Dani turned up about one hour later (she got a more sensible flight from Bolivia to London via Brazil in under 24 hours - very clever she is) and we jumped into the car and my dad (who it seems woke up at 4.30am to come and fetch me) zoomed back to Letchworth, and home.

Letchworth Garden City - to give it its full title is over 100 years old and has lots of gardens (hence the name) and was the first in the world. Easy. London - or horrible overcrowded and ridiculously expensive place down south - to give it its full title is a lot older than that. Living about an hour away from London all my life i have obviously never done the touristy things that anyone who comes to the UK does. Obviously. How many of you lot who were born and live near famous things have been to see them?

SO using Dani as my excuse i started my tourist trek through London staying at my bro's house in Streatham (thanks bro) and by using a 2-for-1 entry ticket i have already seen Madame Tussauds, 221b Baker Street (which you all should know is Mr Holmes’ old gaff), London Zoo and the Tower of London.

Of them the most worthy of a mention would be the Tower. Fascinating stuff and those of you who live round here ('here' being London, or England for that matter) should defo go and give it a look. Don't try stealing the Crown Jewels though, as u can see in the pics they have them well guarded by evil undercover cops disguised as teddy bears!!

Well i'm going to sign off being CHEAP and TACKY and blatantly lie to you all by saying i have given a lot of money to a good and worthwhile charity - and therefore decided not to send out Christmas cards this year - saving the trees and all that.

SO,


HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR



Matt

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Photos

"elementary my dear dani"
Dani put on that famous Deerstalker Hat and the Pipe and went down to essex and within 24 hours they had caught the killer of those prozzies - coincidence - i dont think so...!!!

Dani
Is it Dani or the small dog in her hand thats more destructive?

Miss World - Dani
Dani holds her own against Miss World (with the help of her lighter)

Albert
Mr Einstein is not impressed my Matt's argument that gravity does not exist

Humpf
"Dani dear - offering a light to a waxwork model isn't the best idea....."

The Iron Lady
and me.

Sven
WHY DID YOU TAKE WALCOTT AND NOT PLAY HIM!?!? YOU MUPPET!!!

Hulk
Matt gets thrown out by the store security

Well, we came to london
and Dani wanted to see the queen. SO i took her to meet them all.

Robin Williams
Matt and 'funny man' (which he hasnt been since Mork and Mindy)

Red Box
Dani comes out of the famous London Red Phone box. Not many of them about these days after the cull

DANI ARRESTED
Dani's attempt to steal The Crown Jewels fails after she is discovered by two undercover policemen

Brrrr
it was bloomin freezin when we went round the tower, and this poor bloke has to stand there for ages and isn't allowed to move at all!

Tudor Dani
Dani steps back in time...to her childhood as we play dress-up in the Castle gift shop

Crows...i mean Ravens
It's said that if these little critters ever leave the Tower's grounds then the place - and monarchy - will crumble. Where is my gun.....

Dani and the 'Teddy Bear'
The police are still following Dani about in the Castle, this time disguised as -Teddy Bears-

Ding Dong
Dani and a slightly squiff Big Ben

DANI ARRESTED II
Poor Dani. After ACTUALLY STEALING The Crown Jewels and getting away from the squad of 'Teddy Bear' soldiers, she's arrested whilst trying to coronate herself in Westminster Abbey.

Comments

[gringo 2]

hi
Bloody english weather, what you can you say about english boodly weather.