El Viaje

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The travel (El Viaje):
After being kindly dropped off by mi madre at the Minneapolis airport I was lucky enough to have been chosen by the airline to flag for a security screening. I was immediately roped off with the other lucky winners and after about 3 and a half years they decided that they would pull me through. The guy was very friendly...unfortunately a little too friendly with the frisking... but all went well on the way to Chicago.

Upon arriving in Chicago a las siete y media my bags were the the first ones out at the baggage claim. First time that has ever happened to me, it was splendid. Unfortunately, I severely injured and/or maimed apporimately 24 people by rolling over them with my enormous suit cases when walking them to the tram, then to the international terminal, but I think they understood I couldn't help it. There was literally no one in the international terminal for the next 2 hours, and so I surrounded myself with my luggage and proceeded to watch a movie, call amigos y familia, etc. About 5 hours later I checked my bags with Alitalia (who let me slip by with a heavy carry-on because "I look like a good italian boy" and I was through security. We boarded at 3:30. I sat down next to a cute blond who ilooked y age and whom had overheard speaking english, so i asked her if she was studying abroad or visiting. Naturally, as all my attempts with females go, I made a complete ass of myself when she told me she had beeing working in Madrid for 5 years. Apparently however, she was not offended and she proceeded to chat my ear off for the entire 8.5 hours. I seriously don't think she took a breath.

We eventually arived in Milano, or as I saw it a cattle farm. We were first hearded off the plane and into narrow gates which led just one direction. When these gates opened up, the walls became starch white and were about 20 feet high but significantly shorter than the ceiling. Every person pushed up against eachother, as we slowwwwly (2 hours) shifted towards 3 security path ways. Literally if you day dreamed for a second another cow would squeeze right between you. One must also question why Milan even has a security checkpoint since everyone who set off the alarm was asked "you-ah wearing-ah belt-ah/mobile/something in pocket?" and if you responded "Si" he simply said "ok" and let you go. Eventually I got through security, and to the gate where we waited about 3 hours due to a snow storm in Milano. When we did take off however, the flight was smooth with no problems.

*Sidenote: to any Alitalia female flight attendants: will you marry me? We don't need to meet, the very fact that you hold this position means that you are one of the most beautiful women in the world. This airline must screen for attractiveness and sexy italian accents (well the accent is probably a given) when hiring, and consequently will get all of my business for all of my international travels forever.

Barcelona airport has two paths in which you may exit the airport and claim your luggage, A & B. The people sitting in front of my on this flight headed towards B, and my company had told me previously to meet outside B, which it referred to as the international terminal. "Hey," I thought to myself, "I am an international flight I must follow these people on my flight," what I didn't realize is that I was also an idiot. The second I walked through the "B" doors, there was no turning back--trust me I tried and got half of the airport security to escort me out. At this point my bags were most likely already reaching the "A" baggage claim, and everyone I encountered gave me different directions of how to get there. Here were the right ones:
1. Go through customs. Again.
2. Wait in line for securty. Again. But this time be really worried about the fact that your bags are going to be taken off the belt and have the idiot 8 people in front of you hold up the line for 13 minutes (exactly) because he is trying to bring several water bottles filled with whiskey through. Fun!
3. Sprint with your belt, phone, wallet, passaporte, watch, coins, etc. in your hands (to save time) through the maze that is the Barcelona airport
4. Catch a glance of you bag as it goes into the back of the baggage claim and as the belt stops turning
5. Stick your head through the rubber flaps and yell "por favor, necisito mis maletas."
6. Injure approx. 24 more people by running over their legs with your big rolling bags.
7. Y Finalimente, run to catch up with the group walking to our busses in the rain. Que divertido.

All in all, despite the dramatic story, it really wasn't THAT bad, just a little adventurous. We arrived to what had to be one of the nicest hotels in Barca. Had a huge room to myself, balcony, huge flatscreen, very nice stereo, king size bed, twas very nice.

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