Spain 23 - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, a day in the desert, ladies of the night/day and bags of oranges

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Ok. Are you ready? Have you been practising overnight? We have. Are you now able to whistle and have you worked out the tune? The reason you need to whistle is that we are off to Spaghetti Western country where the film The Good, the Bad and the Ugly was filmed in 1966. It starred Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef and Eli Wallach and has the iconic theme tune written by Ennio Morricone. Now that is why you need to whistle. Get whistling.

We woke early as usual. Why is that you need less sleep as you get older. Whatever we plan, our body alarm clocks kick in at 6.15 and we wake. Even if we plan a day of doing nothing bang on 6.15 we are awake and up with the lark. Today was no exception. Suzy unplugged, breakfast eaten and we were on the road again. Downtown Granada at 8 am was heaving with commuters on their way to work. Cars weaved in from the right, swept off in front of us and generally messed up. It was not a pleasant drive and did not improve until we ended up on the autovia where things quietened down. In fact, there were so few cars about it felt as if we were in the back of beyond. The road seemed to go on forever and felt like a road to nowhere. The landscape changed dramatically as the hills turned into mountains and the area looked as if it hadn't seen rain in a long time.

We had grown up on a diet of cowboy stories and westerns as children. That genre sprouted a series of iconic westerns in the 50's and 60's Wagon Train, Rawhide, Laramie, Wyatt Earp, Gunsmoke, Bonanza and The Big Valley starring Barbara Stanwick. Later in the early 70's The High Chapparal and Alias Smith and Jones.

It was in the 1960s that the landscapes of the desert of Tabernas developed into a sought after movie location, well known productions such as King of Kings (1960), Cleopatra (1963), and the winner of seven Oscars, Lawrence of Arabia (1962). They all l used the desert as a backdrop during filming, attracting big budget Hollywood directors such as Steven Spielberg who chose Almeria for scenes in his blockbuster movie Indian Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) starring Harrison Ford. I never knew that. But for us it was not the earlier movies that inspired us to visit Tabernas but Clint in his poncho, wearing his western hat, toting his gun and chewing his cigar. What a man!!!! And he still looks good.

Tabernas is a unique landscape unlike anything we have seen so far in Spain. When I talk about earth colour this was yellow as mustard. Bluffs and deep ravines pitted the landscape. Boulders strewn as if by some giants hand. . Dried river beds and cactus plants completed the scene. Possibly if you see the real thing then this landscape might seem artificial but it looked as good as you could get it as far as we could see. You could almost imagine gunslingers in them there hills, wagon trains being attacked and the sound of the cavalry coming to the rescue. So we swung Suzy deep into cowboy country heading for one of the theme parks in the area.

There are three, each have reviews some of which say they are good, others that they are poor and some indifferent comments so we took our chance and chose Oasis Mini Hollywood which purported to have the film set still erected from the films, a zoo and two western shows a day. There is even supposed to be something for Dr Who fans. An episode was filmed here. We picked Oasis as its blurb suggested it was the real thing. We quickly reminded ourselves of the story which was part of a trilogy following on from a Fistful of Dollars (1964) and For a few dollars more in 1965. The story revolved around three gunslingers who competed to locate a fortune of Confederate gold amidst many violent gun fights and hangings set against a backdrop of the American Civil War.

We parked Suzy in the large carpark. There were a few cars parked under shade and we walked whistling away to ourselves to the ticket office. A young lady greeted us - welcome would you like to pay 22 euros each for your visit or pay an extra 17 euros for a buffet lunch. We thought she would have looked the part had she been dressed as Annie Oakley rather than in jeans and t-shirt. We opted for the 22 euros and even that seemed a lot of money to pay compared to other places we had visited. We didnt get far before being accosted by a guy and two girls again not dressed up asking if we wanted a welcome photograph taken. Ignoring them as we felt a bit ripped off already we headed for the abandoned mine - a couple of rusting old tubs, rusting rail tracks and a mine shaft entrance. Next door the cowboy town church and beyond that the film set. This ranged around two squares. To one side a photographers studio where you could dress up and have your photo taken, a tacky gift shop, an undertakers, a museum of the carts and waggons used on screen and a cardboard cut out of Clint Eastwood. To the other a saloon -the Yellow Rose where in the summer months can can dancing took place all day. it was a long wait to the 1st June for that to start. In between a bank and a hotel. A lone cowboy rode his horse around the square kicking up the dirt as he went from graveyard to livery stable. We realised by this time we were the only ones there.

Another lone cowboy sat in his wagon occaisionally firing off his gun before riding into the sunset only to appear again five minutes later. The horse must have been bored out of its mind. The real wild west show didnt run in the spring and only started in July. By now another couple had turned up . We gave up and laughed at the waste of a journey, the waste of time and money. It was awful. You win some and you lose some . This was one we should have missed. By the time we got to the car park another two motor homes appeared and we hoped they had a better experience than we had had.

Still you cant beat the scenery even if the theme park was positively awful. The rest of our day was spent getting to our next campside near to Denia. We found it but it seemed too small and cramped so we moved on to Oliva where there were a whole host of campsites. You had so much choice it was unbelievable . The only problem was finding them. Sally Sat Nav tried to take us up a narrow dusty path to the seaside. We had to ignore her and try to find our own way. Every time we trusted her she took us to a field or showed us in a field. We passed stalls selling lemons. oranges and garlic and chair after chair of the ladies of the night sitting cross legged showing their thighs and beckoning to passing cars. One stood in front of us and posed like a model as if to invite Glenn to stop and take her offer up. Some young and others much older. Eventually we found our campsite up a narrow lane with Suzy's wing mirrors tickling the hedges on either side. Camping Azul was not easy to find and was a pretty campsite when we got there. We handed over our passports and headed round to look for a plot 16 euros for a comfort plot - read that as small and 18 euros for a large comfort plot - read that as a bit bigger. Everyone was crammed in and most of the vans looked as if they had seen better days. Cars were piled outside them, chairs and tables and all sort of detritis. It probably was the worse campsite we had seen this trip . Decision made move on and find Kiko Park.

Another ride round the town which is all new and was confusing Sally Sat Nav. Back onto the road again past the oranges and prostitutes. Back round again. EAch road looked the same. all the houses looked the same and each roundabout the same as the last. Eventually after almost giving up we stopped and saw a Hoopoe in the field. For anyone following the blogs we have looked for a long time for one of these elusive shy gaudy looking birds. And there it was. The icing on the cake with the cherry on top.

Kiko Park was busy full of overwintering dutch, german and english guests. All sun tanned bronzed from months of sitting on the lovely pristine white sandy beaches, or from walking in the sun from the site to the marina or even just sitting outside all day reading a book. It cost 18 euros as it was an ACSI site. We had a good plot quite large in comparison to the one at Azul . There was a shop on site, a restuarant and a cafe/bar that sold pizzas.

All in all a funny old day. it didnt turn out quite as we expected. It was long and hot and we were glad to get Suzy parked up so that we could do nothing . France now beckons. We have only one more stop in Spain Zaragoza and then it is La Belle France.





And so to the theme parks . We read up on Trip adviser about the three parks and tried to make our mind up which to see .

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