From Russia With Love

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For our summer vacation we chose to head to Russia, primarily because we wanted to escape the heat and thunderstorms in Asia. Also, we were excited by such a random destination. Since we had nine days off we picked two cities, St. Petersburg and Moscow. On the flight to St. Pete we realized we had zero expectations aside from a plethora of vodka and the lingering effects of communism. After a year in Asia, we certainly felt like we were in for a change.

Immediately upon arriving at the tiny airport we noticed that this part of the country resembles Alaska. Lush, green trees stretched out for miles and the sun seemed to hang in the sky. As we waited for our bags we absorbed the distinct physical attributes of the Russian people, most notably striking ice blue eyes. Though many are fair, there are more people with dark skin and hair than we had imagined. Curiously, the mullet is alive and well and has apparently been residing in Russia since its North American abolition in the early 80s. We also learned quickly that Russia foregoes deodorant, like many of its European neighbors. However, the smell of pickles overpowers the body odor quite often.

Although we had chosen a modest, 3-star hotel due to outrageous lodging prices we were a bit shocked by the condition of our new digs. Since St. Pete is referred to as the "Venice of the North," the view overlooking the Neva River was exquisite, but the structure itself looked like a bomb shelter from the First World War. And perhaps it was! We decided to walk across the bridge and find a little bar, as it was evening. We wandered through some parks and tenement courtyards and realized we weren't in the best of areas, but we pressed on and found a rustic watering hole that suited our needs, namely vodka. In all seriousness, the first shot rendered my lower lip numb. It is certainly more potent in Russia! We stayed until the sun came up (the time difference is pretty drastic) and wandered back to our hotel, catching a naval graduation parade and taking some lovely pictures of the city.

After some rest I sent Todd to purchase train tickets to Moscow, which can't be achieved online as a foreigner. This seemed like a simple task but after three hours I was growing worried. He finally returned with quite a tale. This was our first foray into what we like to call the "difficulty" of Russia. He had taken several cabs and the subway in an effort to get to the train station but no one spoke English and all signs were in Russian. When he finally made it to the right spot in the correct line and found a willing translator, the attendant informed him he needed our passports, which he didn't have. It was another adventure to return to the hotel and by the time I saw him he was cranky and frustrated. I decided we should immediately head to Nevsky Prospekt in an attempt to salvage the day. Famed for shopping and stunning architecture, the Prospekt was a lovely place to relax at an outdoor cafe. Todd bought me a sweater because it was FREEZING and I had my first ever hot chocolate in July. We enjoyed the famous late evening sun and found a trendy hotel bar for drinks. We were really looking forward to vodka martinis in Russia but were informed by the bartender that such a thing does not exist. Apparently the only way to drink vodka in Russia is to shoot it. We felt like stupid tourists for being unaware of this basic fact. Who knew?? We made our way back to the hotel when jet lag set in to watch some bizarre Russian programming. It seems the Russkies have hijacked several American sitcoms from the 80s and 90s, recasting the roles and building identical sets. We definitely recognized Married With Children and The Nanny before falling asleep.

In the morning we tried the brunch, which was on a par with the accomodations. I recall everything being some shade of beige - cheese, potatoes, pasta, bread. I wasn't developing any affection for Russian food but Todd found it quite hearty. Our first item of business was securing the train tickets, which was still a huge hassle. By this point we had grown tired of constantly hearing "nyet," or no in Russian. We managed to get the tickets and started our day of sightseeing. We chose to check out the Church of the Spilled Blood, which pays homage to Alexander II, who was assassinated there in 1881. Though most of St. Petersburg is baroque or neoclassical in style, this church boasts the medieval architecture we all associate with Russia. We walked through a street market looking for traditional fur hats, called ushankas, but didn't find any we liked. We saw the Russian nesting dolls and replicas of the famed Faberge enameled Easter eggs. After that we searched for an internet cafe since the hotel's dial up was not working. Yes, dial up - this is another strange thing about Russia. The technology seems ancient. Handwritten receipts and huge, boxy computer monitors are the norm. However, we found a computer station and I was able to confirm all our reservations for our stay in Moscow. This time I chose to book a furnished apartment rather than take my chances with the hotels. After that we walked to Palace Square and attempted to buy tickets to the Hermitage Museum, which is rivaled only by the Louvre in size and quality. I was particularly excited for this but the line was absurd so we kept walking to St. Isaac's Cathedral. This was the Russian Empire's largest church when it was built in the early 1800s. The inside contains giant mosaics, a gold ceiling and magnificent lapis lazuli columns. Later on we had a delicious dinner on Nevsky Prospekt and checked out of our hotel to catch the midnight sleeper train to Moscow.

Trying to save money, we had booked the top bunks in a four person compartment. Thankfully the folks in our cabin smelled fresh and clean, unlike the majority of the passengers. Still, we weren't tired so we made our way to the bar cart. On our first attempt Todd peeked into the wrong door, which turned out to be the kitchen. In a classic example of Russian hospitality, before Todd could even say sorry the chef slammed the door in his face. By now this sort of thing didn't really phase us so we found the right door and ordered some vodka. Since it was only served by the bottle, we had our work cut out for us. We happened to be sitting by two Russian gentlemen who indulged us in some card games and small talk. When Todd mentioned to one of them that Russians seemed angry to us, he replied simply, "But of course. We are Russian." I am still deciphering what this means.

When we arrived in Moscow, never having slept, it was cold and dreary. We attempted to navigate the subway system, but again it was terribly difficult so we gave up. We decided to try a little trick I had read about in my Lonely Planet guidebook. Many Russians offer rides to tourists for extra cash, undercutting the taxi drivers. In fact, cars pull over all the time for those of us who clearly don't look Russian. Todd dismissed the first few we saw but when a guy with a nice car and a decent shave offered us a ride, we took it. His name was Vadim and since he was dressed in head to toe purple velvet, he was immediately endearing. He understood basic English, which was so comforting, and even pointed out famous landmarks along the way. He dropped us at a little cafe beneath our apartment building and told the staff to be kind to us. We had a few hours before we could get our apartment key so we left our luggage at the cafe and headed out for a stroll just as the sun emerged from the clouds. When we rounded the corner we noticed an amazing structure in the distance and decided to walk toward it. As it turned out we were staying just down the street from Red Square! Though we were exhausted and hungover, things were certainly looking up. As we walked through the gates of Red Square we were truly in awe of our surroundings. It is not only a magnificent time capsule but an exquisite achievement in architecture. The sun gleaming off the turrets of St. Basil's Cathedral is a moment I will never forget.

On our way to pick up our key we ate lunch at a Mexican restaurant since they're rare in Korea. When we finally got our apartment we were delighted with our choice. It was spacious, modern and clean. Extra perks were English cable channels and a washing machine. They also threw in free international calling, which we found absurd but awesome. Before we checked out we had managed to call everyone we've ever met.

Our plan the next day was to take a tour of the Kremlin but I had not read the fine print that it was closed on Thursdays. It wound up raining anyway so we sat by a beautiful fountain outside Red Square and drank overpriced beer. Truthfully, it was lovely to just relax for one day. We made it into the Kremlin the following day and it was well worth the wait. I forced Todd to get the nerdy English headsets so we'd know what we were seeing. It would have been a total waste without them since there is so much history packed into that small area. Highlights were The Assumption Cathedral, which was ransacked by Napoleon in 1812, and The Cathedral of the Archangel, which holds the tombs of Moscow's imperial families including that of Ivan the Terrible. The piece de resistance, however, is undoubtedly The Armory. It would be a crime to visit Moscow and miss this treasury of weapons, jewelry and household items belonging to the Russian tsars throughout history. Most impressive was the world's only double throne, once occupied by Peter the Great and his brother Ivan V, and ancient bible covers, gilded and encrusted with ivory, pearls and precious stones. Our favorite part was the display of royal carriages from the 16th, 17th and 18th centuries, also elaborately decorated with gold, silver and jewels.

On our last night in Moscow we decided to try the upscale nightlife the city is so famous for. We had been warned that door policy is extremely strict and that people are often rejected, which was the case at the first lounge we tried. We hit up another spot and were successful, after the bouncer blatantly bent over to check the quality of Todd's shoes. I've never seen anyone actually do this! Once inside it seemed like any hotspot in any major city anywhere rather than authentically Russian. However, we had a great time and barhopped a little more before heading back to our apartment.

Before leaving the next morning we took a tour of Lenin's tomb. For such a long wait it's disappointing that they usher you past his body in a matter of seconds. There's so much wax on him that he looks like a figure at Madame Tousseau's. We were sad to be heading out - we certainly should have spent more time in Moscow - but we were pleasantly surprised by our train ride back to St. Petersburg before catching our flight. Without knowing it we had booked a first class cabin complete with meal service, champagne and television. It was the perfect ending to our journey.

We both agree that despite the difficulty and severity of Russia, it was a lesson in culture - and one more corner of the world checked off our list. Will we ever return? The answer is likely "nyet," but we could be persuaded to revisit Moscow for its high end shopping, flashy nightlife and abundant history.

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Comments

[Curt Kekuna]

memories
i lusted after your pictures...brought back fond memories of my 2 visits in '91 and '94. i know russia must have changed much more since then, but i still love both of those cities. thanks for sharing and reminding me there is a big world out there. sometimes i get too myopic. blessings to you both, uncle curt