Doin the Amsterdam thing

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So it’s time to chat about being ‘Amster-damned!’
Ooh doesn’t that just give the wrong impression of what I thought about this really great city, and the rollicking great time that I had? But at the end of the weekend, I was well and truly a certified train wreck.

The weekend away started ominously. It has been thunder, wet, bleak Friday in England - again! Ever so quickly I have learned to understand that this commonly represents delayed/cancelled train services. So after getting into work early, it was time to leave early and make sure I didn’t miss my departure from Paddington Station in London. As sod’s law would have it, the trains ran easily and fully on time, so I was left sitting around at Paddington for hours dithering about what I would eat for dinner…. (this generally bad habit of choosing my meals should be understood by more than a few people I know!)

Admittedly though, I was starting to get a little stressed when it was far from obvious where this bus would take off from? The only instructions on the e-mail were a street name that ran parallel to the station. Hmmmmmm, so I went into a pub across the road to investigate a little further, and enjoy a pint while I was at it. The Asian guy behind the bar had no idea, in fact like most people in London, he could barely understand English anyway. S I sat there, waiting and feeling like a real Muppet.

Thankfully the crowds began to swell with young looking backpackers (predominantly antipodeans) and I knew that I was in the right place. Right, time to find someone to talk to on the bus! It was rowdy and closed quarters, but I sat next to a crazy Sth African girl that seemed particularly interested in getting drunk, stoned, and laid in Amsterdam as she had only broken up with her b/friend the day before. Hmmmmm overnight on this bus could be very interesting considering I could feel the motion sickness and headache swelling. Oh God, was I about to have a really horrible weekend?

Thankfully my well-developed ability to sleep anywhere, in any situation helped me out that night (those hours of training through Eastern Europe had paid off). After the ferry, I pretty well slept through the night, albeit extremely uncomfortably. Hair messed up everywhere and traces of yesterday’s makeup streaked on my face, I woke up in The Netherlands.

Somehow the lack of good sleep felt worse than any recent hangover. But we soldiered on, we were here for the weekend, and time was of the essence. So with our things left at the hostel and a strategic change of underwear and brushing of teeth, we were on our way to the Heineken factory. I was a little sceptical of the place honestly. Having been to the Guinness Factory and Coca-Cola world, I had become a little bored with these places. How wrong was I? The Heineken Factory was awesome, and totally set-up for the consumer experience with 3 half pints included in the price… the start of much Heineken that weekend.

Stumbling out into the beautiful sunshine with no food, no quality sleep, my token gift glass and 3 half pints, we crossed the road to check out this very lovely city via a canal boat. For a very serene hour we floated along all the lovely canals of this city. Observing the houses that all lean on funny angles, the thinnest house in the world, the bicycle multi-level park, and the gorgeous quaint canals that makes this city.

Here I digress for a moment to talk about bicycles in Amsterdam. This is a city where bicycles rule. Pedestrians and cars alike beware. It is sooo funny. There are bikes everywhere and hardly any cars. People in 3-piece suits, families, young girls and old men, everyone rides. Oh and bicycle rage is heard everywhere with the very insistent peel of bells telling people to get out of their way!

After a late lunch to fill our growling stomachs with a baguette and several more pints of Heineken, one of my travelling colleagues and I decided it was time to check out the fabled coffee shops of Amsterdam. The city is incredibly tolerant, but with the tolerance there is a measured approach, which seemingly keeps blatantly stupid actions at bay. Yes they have coffee shops everywhere, no they are not as blatantly advertised as you would think, and yes they keep a good eye on their foreign customers who are in town for some fun.

A quick few questions regarding my past activities and consumption habits, and I was presented with what looked and tasted like a chocolate Swiss roll, wit it’s own very special kick. By the way, if at this point you do not understand what I am trying to express here - google coffee shop and Amsterdam, then we’ll be on the same page! A couple of hours later and a few more drinks and I was feeling the love of Amsterdam. Whilst I was feeling the love, I think we possibly partook in the only activities in the world that could be further removed from the concept of love. The Red Light district and a lie sex show. The former is a terrific laugh - girls in little shop windows all lit up with red lights, primping, preening, all wanting your business. Is a real laugh when you see one chatting away on her mobile phone, or another watching TV. Let’s just say there is a different stroke for every folk.

Meanwhile the show was just - ewwww. T was decided that we would go, as it really is part of what makes up there scene here. Was I naive or what? I was expecting something more like a floorshow. Almost cabaret in it’s style. Heck, even maybe just a bit more hard-core than Bar 20. I was so wrong. Think of going into a movie theatre and sitting amongst a bunch of deviates with jackets strategically laced over their laps. People on stage literally ‘in the act’ for 5-10 minutes, and on a 35-minute rotation. We literally saw one girl yawn at her partner. I have to got to say, nobody in our group found this at all appealing - but hey, when in Amsterdam.

Once again it was time to go off partying, dancing and having fun. My cohort in the coffee shop endeavour was worse for wear at this point. Bless, I don’t think anything like this was normally her scene, but she gave it the old college try. At 3am I was kept busy trying to keep her conscious as we made our way back to the hotel.

Morning came, and so too the thought of ‘Do I really have to get up?’ But alas I was up, changed and of on a 4hour bike ride around the outskirts of Amsterdam. Which was totally worth it - hey I even got to see a real proper windmill! Back into the city with sore rear ends, we made our way to the Anne Frank House.



Again, much like Eastern Europe, it was a very sad and sobering reminder of the atrocities reaped in these beautiful cities. It was sadder still, when I was able to link the Anne Frank house with the experience of Anne dying in Auschwitz-Birkenau. It is almost inconceivable that they were able to survive for so long in such a confined situation, and that Anne was so incredibly astute for her tender age.

The rest of the evening was once again spent souvenir shopping for myself, visiting a coffee shop, and yep, partying with the rest of the tour group. Monday was a travel day, and by the time we made it bleary eyed back to London, I had that sinking feeling that urgh, I would still need to get home to Brighton! Good thing is, when you fall asleep, I can’t miss my station as it is the end of the line!

Back t work on Tuesday for the short week, which has just flown by, booked tickets Dublin for the AFL International rules game. Got the devastating news about Shane Crawford and the further tragedies of Hawthorn, and started back at the gym! Tonight I am off into London to catch up with some people from the trip. I really honestly don’t feel like going tonight. Am so completely shattered with exhaustion still. But see I have made this rule for living here that I need to abide by - Don’t turn anything down unless it is illegal!!!!!!!!!!!

Luvin’ ya all
L

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