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Published: February 13th 2008
It's been a long time since I've last written, at least it seems like a while. In reality, it's only been a week I believe. Who knows? your time gets all messed up when you're traveling - it almost ceases to exist. Now wer'e getting all philosophical, so I'll move on. Anyway, the last time I write, we were still in Thailand, but heading out in a few days, and were intending to go to Chinese New Year's celebration in Chinatown, but we didn't because we were all feeling very lethargic and lazy, and also because we are
so super lame. We are now in Naples, but had a few bumps along the way. We've been here for 2 nights, and before this, we were in Rome for 3 nights. So since I have been feeling highly uninspired and unmotivated lately, let me very clear about this:
there is an exceptionally high chance that this blog will suck more than Global Warming. So I suggest you get some sunscreen and try to bear with me. Viva Italia (pretty sure that's Spanish, but
whatever - the Romantic Languages are all the same)!
What you wanna do, Thai Air?
On our last
night in Thailand, we headed out to dinner with Lily and Bank (her boyfriend for all of those who don't remember). They refused to let us pay, again.
Sigh. At this rate, I won't have any children of my own b/c I'll owe them all to her. Anyway, we went to a Japanese restaurant which was rather untraditional and in a mall. We gorged ourselves, and talked to them about life, the Olympics, American Professional Wrestling (Bank is a
big fan - Lily just rolls her eyes), the Superbowl, and tattoos. We also discovered that when Thais double park each other, they simply leave their cars in Neutral and leave their E-brake off, so the person behind them just rolls their car out of the way. We didn't know this at first, and when Bank moved a car out of his way by himself, we all thought he was some sort of super hero (which he may be still). They have all been very hospitable to us, and I am eternally grateful, they have made our trip so much easier in so many ways. We said goodbye to them and told them if they ever wanted to come to America
that we didn't have maids but that we would cook every meal for them (
and also take them to Texas and an Oakland Raiders game).
They dropped us off @ the airport, and we walked to the departing terminals, but didn't find our 12:00am flight to Rome on the boards. Then we stood in line for some time and discovered that our flight had been "pre-delayed". I asked how long it had been "pre-delayed" and, thusly, why I hadn't been "pre-informed". The Thais have a nice way of showing no weakness or signs of problems or conflict, for example, the man who told me we wouldn't be leaving till 8:30am the next morning said, "OK, now we want you know everything OK, however, your flight is been delayed." How that is "everything OK" I'm not sure, but when in Rome do as the Romans do (
except that we weren't in Rome, and it was all their fault). Coincedentally, all of us recieved emails from Thai Air, saying that there were significant changes to our itineraries, however we recieved those, oh, I don't know...
yesterday. So they put us up in a fancy-pants hotel. It was very elaborate. I took a
bath, wore a robe (
yes, a robe), ate dinner for the 2nd time b/c it was free, looked for the complimentary Cuban cigars (none to be found), and took 136 (
literally) pictures of the crazy arcitecture. It was interesting, I don't think I've been in a hotel as nice as that before, and it felt weird after being in poverty for so long -
thanks a lot Thai Air, you owe my conscious big time. We also discovered that one of our soaps in the bathroom was called "douche" soap. We were confused, and middle-school giggly/immature, and I decided that you didn't need to be a woman to use it, so I made liberal use of it.
The next morning, our wake up call came at 5am. I got downstairs and looked for some human brains to eat (a morning zombie's favorite meal), but settled for a quick international breakfast instead, before being shuffled to the airport. Before boarding, I had a snag in my passport. I had to talk to 4 different people about how the Thailand page in my passport had somehow been previously stamped with February 8, 2008 (the day we were leaving). They were baffled.
It appeared that I had left the country earlier that day then snuck in again without an arrival stamp for some 6 hours, then tried to leave again. Seeing as how
I have a major problem with doing that, I understood their concern. It was practically baffling the Thais, I fully expected Sherlock Holmes to show up (he didn't). I still to this day do not understand how this happened, but eventually I was let off the hook by the dude of all dudes within the Immigration Department.
We boarded the plane and to my surprise...
found a whole bunch of obnoxious middle-aged Italian people on our flight. They were everywhere. In the aisles (always). In my crotch (they apply liberal use of the reclining seats). In the bathrooms (smoking illegally). They were even in the flight attendants' faces (with smelly breath). I stomached it. There were also a lot of kids on the plane that were not about to be confined to the rules of a plane, and cried profusely to show their detest for "the man".
The coolest part of the flight was getting to see the Alps (I thinks...) and the Mid-East (we flew over Iraq and the surrounding countries). It was a beautiful endless desert, with intricate patterns and peaks, small habitations. It was a macrocosm of a hand-made sand pattern @ the beach. I was thoroughly impressed and intrigued (I would love to go to the Mid-East). With all the people and children, basically, it was hard to sleep - so I took advantage, for the first time, of free drinks. The Thais really know how to pour 'em. 12 hours later, I woke up still a little drunk, but well rested (it's an even trade, right?), and in Rome. The obnoxious Italians were still there, though (don't they all disappear in my dreams?).
All Hail Glorious Rome
We were immediately hit by the obliterating exchange rate. 11 euros for a train ride from the airport to Termini (Rome's main train/bus station). 11 euros is almost US 15$.
US 15$ is 3 days of room and board in Thailand. Choke me with a stick, ack. It was also refreshingly cool, it's nice not having to sweat standing still. The first thing that I was struck with on the train ride to Termini (
other than that Italian women sound exceptionally sexy when speaking Italiano), was
how GREEN Rome is. Even in crappy places, industrial areas, cobbled street; there is always some grass around. The city also has a pristine feel to it. Even when buildings are dirty, even when the ground looks soiled - it still feels cozy, quaint, and beautiful. I was definately taken a back by how much open space there is, and even within the cramped city streets, how life seems a bit slower than it ever feels in America. I could live there. I could go on for days about how I'm going to ask Rome for my hand in marriage (which we still don't know how to say in Italian -
definately a survival phrase for any man coming to Italy), but that would bore you to death. Let's just say - it's sprawlingly special (even coming from a small town kind of guy).
The first night we were there, we didn't do much.
End of story. We stayed at a cheap hostel, only 11 euro a night, unheard of in Italy. Maria works the desk 7 days a week there, she was originally traveling the world but got a job @ the hostel to earn some money when
they ran out of hired help. She was really nice and very outspoken. Her counterpart, the night watch man, hated music, so he cut the wires to the computer so she couldn't play any from her computer.
Psycho. We met some Canadian girls who were from Victoria, they were both younger than us, and had been in Rome for only a day longer. One of them, Suzy, was about to meet her boyfriend, who had done work in Kenya for some NGOs, in Switzerland. She was an environmentalist too, so we had some captivating talks about conservation, and all that
good, hippy, earth-loving stuff that we do best.
The next day we went to the Vatican.
Let me be upfront right now: I am not a big buff on ancient Western art. I am also not big on frescos, mosaics, Rennaisance (sp?), elaborate statues of nude people, etc. This is not to say that I don't think that it's impressive - it's all well done. But for the most part, most of the art, here in Italy thus far, is way over my head, elaborate, and very over the top. I've come to realize that I'm a minimalist, not
only in where I like to be, but also in my taste in art. I should say that there were definately some things in Rome that I thought were very cool, but after a while, it starts to blur together. Also, there are always a million blogs and stuff that talk about the various art, here. So here's the quick replay of
Day 1 out on the town:
*Headed to the Vatican with Suzy and Hannah
*Beat the lines to see St. Peter's Basilica (so much architecture and art that my head imploded rather than exploded)
*Went to the Vatican Museum and saw the Sistine Chapel (it was cool, minus the million tourists trapped in halls and rooms)
*Walked to the bridge, Ponte Saint Angelo, and then to the castle, Castel Saint Angelo (where the Popes go when under attack...you know from, like, SARS or something)
*Navigated back to the hostels on my own, b/c we had gotten separated (good thing, I hate these guys)
*Got back to Termini Stazione and got a display of the birds that swarm there @ dusk. Hard to explain, pictures will do it better, but imagine a sky full of birds (but so
much more super cool)
*Went looking for booze with Paul.
*Couldn't find booze
*Finally found a place that sells alcohol, and got treated to a free wine tasting by some very persuasive Italians.
*Got a 3 foot pizza for 10 euro. Score.
*Went back to the hostel and used the alcohol.
All Hail Day 2... *Headed to Circo Massimo
*Wasn't much to see, headed to Palantine Hill
*The ruins (Palantine Hill, The Forum, etc.) were rather impressive, but confusing and unorganized.
*Went to Arco Di Giano and a small church next to it
*Got to Campidologio (where Marcus Arruleus -sp?- is giving an air-five to, who I presume to be, Russell Crowe)
*Stopped outside Monumento a Vittorio Emmanuele II (the tomb of the unknown soldier) and wondered @ the exceptionally tall structures around it and then also @ the admission fee
*Wandered to Trevi Fountain, and
rock, paper, scissored a 1000 tourists for good photo positioning. I went on a glorious 10 win streak and got center aisle.
*
Got lost... *Saw Palazzo Chigi, Palazzo Di Giustizia, ended up coming back to the Castle from the day before (arf?)
*Back tracked and ended up @ the Area Sacra
*Finally found the Pantheon (very cool)
*Headed back towards the Colloseum and looked at it from the outside. It looked like a Colloseum.
*Got lost in a Spanish ghetto
*Watched a football game (real football...you know, soccer) and noticed that one of the offensive forwards on the red team was a whiny, little baby
*
Challenged him to a duel (jk)
*Wandered through the Domus Aurea
*Got lost in the Jewish Ghetto - lots of short Jewish-nosed women bossing their husbands around while their husbands pretended to be deaf
*Walked for a long time and ended up close to San Giovanni Church
*Managed to get back to Termini Stazione after some serious re-navigating
*Took 80 pictures of birds flying in the sky - yes, incredible.
As you can see, there was a lot of getting lost and seeing stuff. I'm sure you're as bored to death with all this mindnumbing play by play action, so let's fast forward to the next day.
Naples and Bus Fines
We took a train to Naples the following morning. It was a nice train ride, I caught up on some journaling, which I have been very lazy about lately, and got to
see the countrysides on the way. They were absolutely amazing, and so beautiful. Ugh. It was magical.
Like, Disneyland-doesn't-have-shit-on-this, magical. Kind of want to just take a train back just thinking about it. Anyway, we got here to Naples and were immediately impressed with how much less impressive it is than Rome. Yes, it's true, Naples is pretty much just a port town. I know for all you hardcore Naples fans out there, this comes as a shock, and perhaps is a bit offensive, but the truth has to be spoken.
After getting to our hostel we left to find some ancient catacombs.
In short, our tour was rather underfunded, and not that informative. However, the tour guide was a very pretty lady and she totally wanted Dan. I was so super jealous.
Afterwards we had pretty ridiculiously delicious pizza. In fact, that's the only thing I've eaten since being in Italy. I've had pizza for every single meal except one. It's been a life changing last couple of days, I assure you.
Yesterday, we headed for a day trip to The Ruins of Pompei. But before we even got to the train station, we were stopped
on the bus by validation police. We were shocked, or at least tried to appear to be shocked, that we did not need validated bus tickets to be on the bus. Can you believe that? We actually have to pay money to ride these things? CMON. We tried worming our way out of it for some time, and by the end I thought it was very funny b/c the officers didn't speak English. So we forked over 34 euro each, which comes to US $50 -
the most expensive bus ride I've ever taken. Then we just hopped on a short 30 minute train that took us directly to them. The grounds were unbelievable large. We got audio guides, but I eventually just stopped using them completely b/c there was just too much information to intake and process. I mean people devote their whole lives to understanding years in Italian history - it's difficult to absorbe all of it in one day. The tourist board operates up to
6 hour tours - yikes. We had all day so we did that one, but self-guided. We branched off and I spent the rest of my day taking in rustic, historical views
of the structures of the people who lived there before the Romans arrived to conquer everyone and their mama. The area resides close to an active volcano that is set to likely erupt within our life time. The site is actually still an active excavation area, and some areas are still closed off to the public. I ended up wandering most of the area for almost 5 hours till I started losing the will to go on and headed back to Naples.
Today, we spent the day wandering around waiting for our night train to Palermo in Sicily. Wish us luck with the Mafia. If we get in a bind I'm just going to tell people that I'm related to Kim Jong Il.
P.S. I told you this blog was going to be lame. Try to enjoy the pictures, though. They're the only thing justifying this uninspired piece of literature.
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Dave Martino
non-member comment
Mmmm, pizza.
Hey Kammy, good to see you made it to Italy. I miss it. It's an amazing place, but agreeably very expensive. I found your piece rather entertaining, you're and excellent writer, rather than an uninspried piece of literature. Glad you found Rome to be a cool city, I loved it there! And as for Naples... Just be happy to make it out of Naples alive... It's not much to see, but the prices are cheaper. Oh, and the Italian women and the train rides are all wonderfully beautiful parts of the Italian scenery; enjoy them. Have fun dude.