Ich Liebe Deutschland

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Our wild time in Amsterdam over, it was off to Germany, a country I have fond memories of from last year.
By the sounds of it however, last summer's World Cup was a once off, as a couple of Germans I have met have said that the scenes of fun, pride and happiness last year were unprecedented and unlikely to be repeated anytime soon. "People still talk about last summer", said one German I met in Lagos.
More specifically, we were headed for Bremen- famous for their football team Werder Bremen, a fairytale written by the Brothers Grimm, and of course, Beck's - my favourite lager (although Dutch-made Heineken may now give it a run for it's money).
Bremen is quite a big city with a strong and passionate football following, and it is quite baffling how the city wasn't chosen as one of the host cities for last year's World Cup.
Of interest to New Zealanders - well New Zealand sports fans - OK, New Zealand football fans - is the fact that New Zealand's, and in fact Oceania's best and most famous football player Wynton Rufer, plied his trade here for Werder for many years. Just ask any local, and they'll know him, and remember him with fond memories.

Back in Amsterdam, we checked out half an hour after we were meant to at 11:30am, before catching our train to Bremen. We had to change in Duisburg and then Dortmund.
Having spent a month in Spain and Portugal, it seemed unusual to be changing country every two to three days - by this stage we had been in 5 countries in the last 8 days, which has been pretty tiring.
We finally made into Bremen and checked in at our hostel at around 6pm.
The Townside Hostel was very nice. Like the Samay Hostel in Seville, it has only been open a couple of months, so everything is in excellent condition. The showers were very nice and we had an ensuite bathroom again. It was pretty quiet as well, as peak season starts to tail off. We certainly appreciated it, as we had a whole room to ourselves.
The climb up three flights of very steep stairs to our room though, was an absolute killer! Worse than the stairs at the hostel in Brugge!
Got a bit of a fright when I got a message from my friend Albina in Hamburg - who we are going to stay with in a couple of days - who was wondering where the hell we were. I had forgotten to tell her we were now arriving two days later than originally planned. Whoops.
Didn't do anything that else that night - just had dinner and settled in to our very comfortable beds - apart from the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas, the most comfortable we've had so far.

The next morning, my old flatmate Felix who lives in Bremen came by the hostel to take us for a tour. It was good to see him again, although having had his hair cut, I almost didn't recognise him! He has maintained a blonde-dyed rat tail though.
Felix is a good guy - a tea-drinking vegetarian who hates the "polizei" and likes to bake - a lot. Back at my flat in Ponsonby, we were always appreciative of the many cakes he would make, which were always delicious. He even made some hash muffins one day.
As we walked into town, it was great catching up and talking about the old times and people we knew back home. We passed Werder Bremen's Weserstadion on the way and Felix said it was weird seeing me in Germany ;-D He also told me today is the first time he's been up early for 3 months, as university hadn't started yet ;-)

After a pleasant stroll along the Weser river, which runs through the city, we reached Der Schnoor, a small, cute, and quaint maze of cobbled streets, restaurants, cafes and boutique shops. it felt like your quintessential old German village - but within a city.
We then reached Bremen's main square, The Markt.
Davies commented that it "really feels like Germany here" and I would have to agree with him.
The square is almost as nice as Brugge's Markt and is dominated by the twin-towered Dom St Petri, built 1200 years ago. That is one very old church. In the cathedral's crypt are eight mummified corpses and two animals, a cat and chimpanzee, who were placed in there to study why they don't decompose down there. Me and Davies though, decided to pass up the opportunity to see them.
Next to the Dom St Petri is the brilliantly ornate Rathaus (town hall).
Also in the Markt is a 13-metre high statue of Knight Roland, the Kirche Unser Lieber Frauen and the statue of the Town Musicians of Bremen - the cast of the famous fairytale written by the Brothers Grimm.
In the story, a donkey, a dog, a cat and a rooster flee their farm with ambitions of being musicians in Bremen. On their first night on the road they take shelter in a house which happens to be occupied by robbers, as the animals discover when the rooster peered through the window atop the cat, which was perched on the dog, which was sitting on the donkey. The cacophony of braying, barking, meowing and crowing startle the robbers so much, that they flee. And the animals lived in that house happily ever after. So they don't actually make it to Bremen, but the story has put the city on the map to such an extent they have built this statue to celebrate it.
Next stop was Bottcherstrasse, a fantastical art-nouveau laneway, marked by a golden entrance and staggered red brick walls. There are some great pieces of art in there as well. I'm no art connossieur, but I do like this style of art.
Felix then went to his parent's place in the afternoon and would meet up with us again in the evening.

Back at the hostel, we got talking to our Canadian roommate, Pete. He was a crack-up, and a good guy, so we decided to invite him for a couple of quiet drinks with Felix and ourselves.
The first bar Felix took us to was your grungy old student dig, and had flaming skulls decorating the walls with punk rock on the stereo. It was cool though, and we appreciated the fact that only a local would know about a place like this. At the bar, we got talking to two British guys who were cycling their way around Holland and Germany. The next day, like us, they were bound for Hamburg except it would take them two days to get there, and us just two hours ;-)
The beer we were drinking was Haake Becks - a cheaper version of Beck's made by the same company. The locals in fact joke that they use the waste water from making Beck's to make Haake Becks.
I'd hardly taken two sips of my first beer when I realised that Felix had almost finished his - I had forgotten how fast Felix's six packs disappeared back in New Zealand ;-)
"Woah, the dude drinks like a fish eh", commented our Canadian friend Pete.
Obviously, hard as we tried, it was impossible to keep up the rounds with Felix, so before we knew it Felix had got us four shots of golden tequila, that you shoot with cinnamon instead of salt, and an orange instead of a lemon. I think I definitely prefer golden tequila. Then Felix got us some B-52's. Before we all knew it, we were all pissed, and what I thought would be a couple of quiet drinks turned into a big night.
The next place we went to was full of chicks, and there was one guy in there that Felix didn't like.
"He's a Nazi", he told me.
"How can you tell?" I replied.
"You just can." ;-)
Wow.
I then got talking to a couple of local girls who were very friendly, before a folky German joke song called "Bon Bon Fuss Fuss" (I think?) came on which signalled closing time. A guy that Pete got talking to then told Felix he had to take us to a bar called "The Tower".
"Ohh no, I hate that place", complained Felix. It was obviously a mainstream joint. However, Felix took us there anyway, as it was on the way back to his flat.
On the way to The Tower, we stopped for a bratwurst, and when the guy asked me if I wanted sauce, I firstly responded with "si", before a "oui", then a "yes" before finally getting the language right with a "ja". That's what 5 countries in 8 days does to you.
When we got to The Tower, Felix was reluctant to go in, but I convinced him to go in anyway, and it was definitely a trancy-alternative joint. The played a remix of Bloc Party's "Banquet" and The Postal Service's "Such Great Heights", so I didn't think it was too bad.
We then went upstairs where they had a foosball table. Foosball in Germany is known as "kicker". Me and Felix decided to take on the locals and got completely owned - 6-1. These guys are pros man - they know how to pass the ball between their players, dribble and shoot. I swear one of them was playing triangles and one-twos out of his own box. How is that even possible? The players are just stationary pieces of wood on a metal bar man! I thought the only thing you could do was shoot from anywhere! And I thought I was good :-D
I then got talking to a local girl, Kaja, who was lovely.
Felix then decided he couldn't stand The Tower anymore and bidded me farewell. It was cool catching up with him again, and I hope to see him again soon. So a big shout out to Felix for showing us round - it was awesome! :-)
Pete and Davies had managed to stumble their way home, so Kaja had to walk me back to the hostel as I was too drunk to make it there myself. Turned out to be pretty simple to get home though.
I finally stumbled in at 6.30am - just in time to get 4 hours sleep before checking out - again.

The next day it was off to Hamburg to visit my friend Albina who was living there. She was meant to meet me at the train station, but when we arrived it took us a good 20 minutes to find each other as we were at opposite ends of the stations on different floors - quite comical really, although we did eventually manage to find each other.
She then took us back to her apartment which was only three stops from the Hauptbahnhof (main train station) and very centrally located. Much like my friend Jana's apartment that I stayed at in Heidelberg last year, Albina's place didn't have a lounge, but the rooms were generously sized, and were most definitely kick-ass. I would love to have a room like hers when I eventually settle in London. It was the first time in two months that I hadn't been in a hostel, so it made me realise how much I missed having my own room with my own bed and stereo and everything.
After a cup of tea, Albina took us for a walk through Sankt Pauli, the famous bohemian district of Hamburg. Knowing Albina, I could see why she liked it so much - lots of great cafes, stylish alternative boutique clothestores and old-school record shops. The area traditionally was very poor, but is now full of creative types, which really gives the area some character. There is much creative artwork on the walls here, that contrast but at the same type complement the delightful old buildings in the area. I'm sure my sister would love it here too.
The local football team, FC St. Pauli, are also famous for having the best fans in Germany. A relatively small team in the second division, the atmosphere at the matches is supposed to be fantastic. You can always identify a FC St. Pauli fan because they wear shirts with the clubs skull and crossbones crest emblazoned on them.
We also stopped by at the beautiful Planten un Blomen park, which would be a great spot to chill in summer.
Albina was showing people through her flat due to a difficult, non-rent-paying flatmate being ejected, so we got back home around 6pm. While Albina was showing people around it gave us a good chance to catch up on some sleep from the night before.
Afterwards, Albina and her rent-paying flatmate Magnus, who was a really cool guy, invited some friends round to watch The Family Guy Movie while munching on pizza and drinking beer. The movie was hilarious - I love that show.
Just a quiet one that night - was still recovering from the night before.

The next day, our splendid host Albina organised breakfast for us, and I think I'm starting to get used to have meat and cheese for breakfast. I'm liking the German "pumpernickel" bread as well, which is more like a soft biscuit or a cake rather than bread. Yum.
We then went to this awesome cafe down the road, decorated with comfy old school couches from the 40s and 50s and artfully stripped-down wallpaper - my sister would've loved this place too.
The drink I ordered was a "Club Mate" (pronounced "kloob-martyr" in German) an energy drink with some sort of extract from Colombia. No, not that kind of extract, or else I'm sure it would've been more expensive ;-)
Albina then left us to tour the city ourselves since she had to go back home to show some more people through her flat.
So we decided to get on a boat cruise to check out Hamburg from the water.
Cruising along the River Elbe, the thing the dominates the sea-line the most is the supermassive port. Apparently it's the biggest or second biggest port in Europe, and it seemed to stretch for miles. If anything arrives by sea to Europe, there's a good chance that it will arrive in Hamburg. On the other side of the river were heaps of nice houses and mansions, which reminded me a lot of the big houses up on the cliffs of Herne Bay and St. Mary's Bay in Auckland. We also passed the famous "Fischmarket" and a cool modern building shaped like a ship.
Back on land, we then went to the main square - or in Hamburg's case, the main lake with a huge fountain spurting out the middle of it - Binnenalster. By far the most dramatic building in the area though, was the majestic Rathaus, with it's imposingly tall tower, which along with the many church spires here, dominates the Hamburg skyline.
We then went for a walk around the city and went up the now blackened church tower of St Nikolai. Devastated by Allied bombers in WWII, it is now a war memorial. 73 metres up, the view was slightly disappointing, as the tower walls blocked most of the good photos that could potentially have been taken.
We then walked around a bit more trying to find the maze of canals that Hamburg is famous for - 12% of the surface area in Hamburg is water. We couldn't really find it though, and it was getting late, so we went back to Albina's flat.
When we got there, Albina asked us what we thought of Speicherstadt, the one place in Hamburg we couldn't miss. We didn't know exactly what it was, so we assumed we had seen it, but it turned out it was the maze of canals we were looking for. So disappointingly, we had missed arguably the most famous sight in Hamburg.
The delicious pasta Albina had cooked up for dinner soon put that disappointment to rest though - what a star.

That night, we went out to a jazz club, ironically called the Bird Cage. At the Bird Cage in Auckland, I performed in a jazz band competition while at high school ;-)
We were joined by Albina's friends Benny, Benny's Dad, Charlotte and her boyfriend and Caro. Caro is a chick with attitude and was really cool - most of Albina's male friends are in fact intimidated by her ;-) But I thought she was a really cool chick.
The previous night, Davies commented that Charlotte looked like Claudia Schiffer - and I suppose she does - and ever since then everyone has been referring to her as Claudia ;-D
The band was really good, and it was nice to see and hear some jazz again after so long - I appreciated the effort that was going into all the solos. The drummer was a really old guy - who holds legendary status in this club - and his drum solo was probably the highlight of the performance.

After the jazz club, it was time to hit the legendary Reeperbahn - Hamburg's famous red light district since the days the old sailors used to come here for some raucous debauchery.
Apparently on a Friday or Saturday night, there can be up to 40,000 walking up and down the street;
Tonight was a Thursday night however, and although there were neon lights, strip clubs and sex shows galore, it wasn't very busy and just seemed to be like a normal street with neon lights, strip clubs qnd sex shows galore.
The prostitutes here aren't in windows, like they are in Amsterdam - they are actually just dressed like normal girls in the street. One girl went up to this guy and said, "So are you coming home with me? When he repiled with a "no", she was like, "why not?"
I thought that she was just a girl he may have hooked up with that night and was turning her down, until Albina pointed out that she had in fact tried the line with a few other guys before him. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that a whole lot of normally dressed girls where standing in an evenly-spaced line on the side of the street, I would not have guessed that they were prostitutes at all.
We also walked past a sex shop with a huge (and grubby) condom in it's window. There was a sign next to it saying that if any man could properly fit it, they would receive a 100€ sexshop voucher. It has only ever been given away twice ;-)

The Reeperbahn is also where much of Hamburg's best nightlife resides, and it was near here that Albina took us to be "baptised" - which bascally involves taking a "mexicaner" shot, which is basically vodka and a tabasco-like sauce. So to say that it was a baptism of fire would just about be accurate.
I love hot sauce - so naturally I loved it and immediately asked for another one, and at 0.50€ a shot, why not? I couldn't taste the alcohol at all, although Davies tended to disagree. After the second one I wanted a third - I could've shot these all night - but decided to refrain.
On the way to finding another joint to continue our night, we came to a bar where we were offered vouchers for a free shot, with no strings attached. Why not, we all thought, so in we went for a "sour shot" which the others thought was much nicer than the mexicaner. I was hoping we might go to a more "indie" bar afterwards, but unfortunately, none where open that night. Not even the famous Golden Pudel Club.
So we ended up at a bar called Barbarabar, which seemed to be quite full.
It was here that we saw possibly the hottest thing we've seen on this trip so far - two smoking hot brunettes, drunkenly and passionately sticking their tongues down each other's throats. In hindsight, I wish I had taken photo of it for my boys back home, but I think I was a) too mesemerised, b) too drunk, and c) already looking like enough of a pervert, without getting my camera out ;-) Then again, every other guy in the bar was ogling them (and justifiably so) so I suppose I couldn't have looked too much worse than every one else ;-D When I asked to guy standing next to them if I could trade places with him, he just laughed. Yeah, good on ya mate ;-)
When our show had finished I had to make a pit stop as the mexicaners had caught up with me and were going through me faster than a lamb vindaloo. Lucky I didn't shoot a third mexicaner and lucky I didn't have to pay 50 cents to use the toilet here like you do in Amsterdam! I still haven't gotten over that - it's just plain exploitation of nature, that is.
In the meantime, Davies had got owned again at "kicker". If there was a "kicker" World Cup, I'd put my money on the Germans.
It was then time to go home - but not before we spotted Morrisey! Seriously, this guy was a absolute ring-in for Morrisey. But when Albina went to tell him about his extreme Morrissey likedness, the dude didn't even know who Morrisey was!

Hamburg is definitely a fascinating city, with a unique vibe, plenty to see and lot's to do - It 's a shame I couldn't stay longer, so I definitely want to come back at some stage.
And it wouldn't have been such a wonderful tiime, if it wasn't for our superhost Albina. She even made us sandwiches the next day to take on the train! She looked after us so well and was super-organised, so a big shout out to Albina for all her efforts :-)

And so our time in Germany is over for the time being, and lots of fun was had - more than I thought I'd have this time round - and we will be back - but next up is Copenhagen. To read about our exciting times there, tune in for the next entry!

Viele Gruesse,
Derek

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Photos

View Of Rathaus From St. Nikolai, Hamburg
From the top of St. Nikolai. Behind the Rathaus is the lake with a huge fountain in the middle of it, Binnenalster.

Der Schnoor, Bremen
The cute, cobbly streets of Der Schnoor.

The Markt
With the Kirche Unser Lieber Frauen's spire in the middle, and the Rathaus on the right.

Dom St. Petri
The 1200 year old twin spires of Bremen's main cathedral.

Town Hall Musicians Of Bremen
From the fairytale written by the Brother's Grimm, that the city is very proud of.

Art Nouveau Archway In Bottcherstrasse
Part of brick-clad art nouveau laneway of Bottcherstrasse.

Am Wall Park, Bremen
With the Bremen's only Dutch windmill in the background.

Weser River
Which runs through Bremen and where many nice bars and restaurants sit by the riverside.

The Bremen Crew
From left; Davies, Canadian Pete, Felix and myself.

Hamburg Skyline
Taken from the boat cruise along the River Elbe.

Planten un Blomen
Great chill-out park.

Canal In Hamburg
Next to the Rathaus.

Hamburg Rathaus
Hamburg's wonderfully imposing town hall.

Fountain Behind The Rathaus
In an enclosed courtyard behind the Rathaus.

Church Tower Of St. Nikolai
War memorial church Tower we went up.

Cool Vintage Cafe
Styly cafe that I enjoyed my "Club Mate" at in St. Pauli.

Reeperbahn
Where the Roxannes of Hamburg put on their red lights.

Big Condom
Only two men have ever been able to properly fit it.

The Hamburg Crew
Me, Albina & Davies. Albina is holding a "mexicaner".

Typical Street In Bremen
Near our hostel - to show you what the normal parts of Bremen look like. Not too bad.

"Kicker"
Don't ever take a German on at this...

Celebrity Spotting IV
Morrissey must be getting on, because he didn't even know who he was!