Canoeing the Neckar River... Akin to Another Three Hour Tour

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There is nothing like a rainy day canoe trip to create lasting memories, and to forge bonds that will never break. Something about sitting exposed for hours as the rain pours down upon you while being forced to paddle on for fear of crashing into the bank and perhaps even tipping over and being flung into the raging torrent that is the Neckar River can bind souls like no other.

We arrived ready to do battle with the monster that is the Neckar in great spirits. Jokes abounded of who might be the first to tip, and who would reign victorious at the end. Good spirited arguments raged over who should be the captain of each ship. After a few words from our guides, loosely translated hilariously by Heidi, it was time to depart.

The departure was a show in and of itself. Groups of three were inserted into their canoes in front of an audience cheering them on and bidding them a fond farewell. The first bit of white water (if you could even term it that. Perhaps "Grey Water" is more apt) occurred right out of the gate. The pressure present on each captains shoulders to show what they could do was immense! Most were able to navigate this first stretch to the bend, and relative obscurity from the crowds looking on, quite well. A couple struggled some, turning haplessly into the bushes on the banks, or even somehow turning to face back upstream, and floating down river backwards. This, for one group, served as an ominous harbinger of things to come.

Bernd, the principal, and I, were assigned the last boat. Our job was to sweep the river for overturned boats, just as Manuel Neuer sweeps the field for any threatening ball during Germany's World Cup matches, and to rescue any survivors still in the water. There was only one boat that we had to worry about...

I will refrain from mentioning names here, though I am sure by now you have heard who enjoyed a dip in the river. It was so nice, they decided to tip twice.

We noticed a particular canoe who decided to take the scenic route down the river. Rather than keeping with the flow, this particular boat decided to zig and zag back and forth from bank to bank. Crossing and recrossing the Neckar. This however, was not by any means occurring through any choice of their own. We settled in behind this boat and attempted to show them how to steer and keep it going on one desired heading.

As we approached the next set of "grey water", disaster struck. We talked the group through how to navigate this stretch, and all appeared well. However, as they began the run, panic set in. Instead of steering and paddling, all three occupants froze solid, and the canoe was now at the mercy of the mighty Neckar. It turned, strayed toward the left bank (which was unfortunately not occupied by independent artists and craftsmen as the left bank of the Seine is). The stern struck the grassy bank and completed the rotation of the boat and it was now perpendicular to the current. The tip was a picture of shock and terror as the three occupants were flung into the flow. Luckily, all three were able to touch bottom, and immediately began collecting the quickly escaping oars. Bernd and I were able to direct the righting of the ship, and calm the frayed nerves of the sailors aboard. Even more fortuitous is the fact that one of the German parents was stationed on the bridge overlooking this section of the river. This is fortuitous, not because we needed his assistance, but because he was able to capture the whole event on video for posterity!

So, the three soaked and intrepid students continued their journey down the river flanked by two chuckling teachers ensuring their safety. During the ensuing stretch of calm water, the steering and paddling lessons continued. The next big test was just around the bend.

As we approached the next turbulent portion, we reviewed the plan with our neighboring paddlers and sent them forth to conquer and redeem. Unfortunately, there was to be no conquering of the Neckar for this trio, and redemption was not to be attained here and now.

Again, at the first sign of turbulent water, all three in the boat froze, and the river did the rest. Again they turned, again they flew, again they were soaked. The canoe was swamped and got loose. The American chased the oars, Bernd and I chased the canoe. After we secured the swamped boat to the shore, we paddled back up the river to attend to the students who were now stranded on opposite banks of the mighty waterway. The two German students were instructed to walk along the river to the canoe through a famers field. For our American, it wouldn't prove so easy. There was no path to walk, thus, she got to float. Like a trooper, she did what had to be done and floated down the river to the secured canoe. Here, she helped to drain it and paddle with Bernd further down the river to where we had instructed the German students to wait. Of course, it couldn't possibly be this eaasy. When we arrived, they were nowhere to be seen. At the next opportunity, we beached the boats and commenced the search. Luckily, they just happened to be passing by this very location, still enjoying easy passage through the fields of a local farmer.

Bernd captained one boat, and I the other, and through heavy rain, intermittent sun, and chilly winds, we arrived to the ending point. As the rain began to fall hard, all of us could only laugh, and laugh loudly, at the predicament we were in, and the thought of the stories to be told decades from now about this wonderfully terrible adventure.

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