How to Survive in Paris.... step 1. point to what you want. 2. say "oui!" when they get it right....

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27th – 30th April – Paris - Montmartre.

While on the plain to paris we are served penne pasta and it’s such a nice change to all the rice we have been eating. I am still craving a real vegetable though. We get into the airport and head out to the taxi rank. A taxi driver assumes we speak French and rolls off something we don’t understand. I suddenly find myself cocking my head to the side like Oscar, it’s not even the words I missed, it’s the amazement at how it sounds, such a fluid language, it’s mesmerizing and my brain doesn’t know where to begin to comprehend what’s going on and where to start in answering him. He reads out confusion so he translates into English and points us in the right direction. He thank him “Merci!” and walk away. I begin to giggle as I feel romantically violated by such a beautiful language.

We jump into a taxi and find he can speak enough English to get us to where we need to be. I am just waiting to come into contact with a “French bastard”, whatever that is. I assume it’s someone who doesn’t want to assist because you’re too busy and too poor to spend years in college learning another language but we never came across such a person. Getting to the hostel we had booked was easy and the taxi driver was very helpful, giving us tips on how to not get ripped off by other taxi companies. When ordering food in Paris or buying something in a retail store we would always manage by pointing to what we wanted stating how many (1 or 2) in French, when they confirmed the order we said “Oui” (yes) and gave them a thumbs up with a big smile. Our crappy attempts were amusing for them and as soon as they heard “oui” they smiled with their head tilted to the side as though we were cute puppies trying to do something brave. The French liked us. We would finish with “Merci!” (thank you).

The only thing I found about three of the French we met along the way is that some of them don’t like to be inconvenienced. Whereas in Australia we would call it customer service, they think it’s okay to tell you they don’t want you to sit at that table coz you’re taking up too much space, even though my café is dead and I’m not going to fill the place out while you have your coffee, you have to sit opposite each other on a tiny stool. It was annoying and I almost told the rat bag we would spend our money elsewhere but it was almost refreshing and I wished I could have more freedom at work to convenience myself too.

The buildings were elegant and the streets just crazy. The next day we went on a walking tour around the Moulin Rouge district where we were staying. It was interesting to hear how it all came about and the crazy streets (geography) of the place. Paris started off as one way little streets, running off the other like random, uncoordinated triangles. Probably not a big deal back in the day before cars but now it makes it a nightmare to drive anywhere. Not obvious when you’re in a taxi but over three days of being in the one area, I saw 6 ambulances drive past me.

Anyway, before the Moulin Rouge the King of the area decided he wanted to build a few Boulevards, which are now the few long main roads you find in Paris. He didn’t do this out of convenience to the people but because he wanted to be stronger during war and the Boulevards would make it easier to see if the enemy was coming. So, he plowed down a whole lot of houses to make these Boulevards and many people were homeless. So people had to find other ways to make money and women started wearing frilly dresses and doing the cancan. The higher they lifted their legs the more money they got and after a while some decided to wear no underwear so they could get even more money. Then the police got involved and developed a special type of police that would look up the skirts of the lady’s dresses to make sure they were all wearing underwear – interesting job – conservative yet perverted at the same time. So this is the Moulin Rouge we know during the 1800’s and on the tour we saw where Van Gogh, Picasso, La Trec and some other all hung out. The cafes they went to, the places they lived, the arguments they had and the colourful and sometimes short lived lives they had.

With only two days left we found a map and circled all the places we wanted to see. There was the Notre Dam, the Louvre, Eiffel tower, Camille Claudel exhibition and a torture chamber and ghost tour, with an interesting part about ‘the ghost who influenced French history’!. Was someone hallucinating after too much lead in their oil paint? Was their a schizophrenic in the royal family? Or was there really a haunting happening and a ghost influenced someone’s decision which impacted greatly on French history. I wanted to know more!

We stopped into Camille Claudel’s show before heading to another tour. Her work was even more brilliant up close! She was the mistress of artist Rodin who is considered a brilliant artist for his time but now they realize that he learnt just as much from her and she did him. They inspired each other, worked together and then Camille created her more brilliant work when their relationship ended and she went solo. Rodin’s work was very good on a technical level, no doubt about it but on a technical and emotional level, if we were going to award points for the one who conveyed emotion brilliantly, Camille would win by far!

As we had already seen the Eiffel tower in clear view from many different angles of Paris, I didn’t wish to go see it up close. We booked for the torture tour instead, which included the Notre Dam and so it would be like hitting two birds with one stone. We had made our booking online and paid, went to where the tour was going to begin only to be told it wasn’t on. We called the tour guide and he said our booking didn’t appear online but he was happy to come down in a couple of hours or we could go to the later session, the ghost tour. Joey and I decide to kill a couple of hours going to the Eiffel tower. Joey wants to go to the top and I’m not interested and it will spoil our chance of getting on the tour but Joey says we can still make the late session, so I go along with his plans. The Eiffel tower doesn’t interest me at all, especially after hearing it was some building erected when there was an event on so everyone would know where to go. It hasn’t been there that long either and they were going to pull it down but decided not to. Cool, not. But Joey seems happy and excited and that’s the whole point of a holiday, oui? So we head to the top where we can see over the whole of Paris. It’s such an elegant city, no sky scrapers, just golds, beige and charcoal and an overcast sky to match. I can see the Louvre and it’s definitely massive, no wonder they say it takes days to see all the shows there.

I’m getting tired and we decide to leave the top of the Eiffel tower. Then we see they offer French champagne and we decide to have a couple of drinks first. Joey asks me to go find my favourite corner and he’ll come back with two champagne glasses. I joke he’s just trying to get rid of me and lose me in the crowd. I find my favourite ‘corner’ which isn’t a corner at all, but a long, flat part of the railing where you can see a palace, a church on the top of the hill and in front the river running past the Louvre. Joey comes back and isn’t impressed I am not concealed away but forward marches with his plan anyway. After we toast and drink and decide it’s time to go and he asks me to help him clean his camera lens for one more photos. He opens his camera bag and asks me to put my hand in a small compartment and take out the cleaner. I don’t ever remember there being a cleaner in that compartment but anyway… I open the compartment to find – a small grey box. I know what it is straight away and can’t believe it! I feel giddy and dizzy but not sure if it’s the champagne, being to high in the sky or the proposal I hear come off Joe’s lips. I smile, giggle and think none of it is real but realize this is something that has been in the works for some time. I say yes, we hug, we get a photo and have another champagne. Joe asks me if I want to go on the ghost tour now, it doesn’t seem to be something I want to do anymore – so we decide to have a night on the town of Paris…

More to come…

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