European Wonder: FRANCE

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12th, 13th and 14th October 2005
Paris, France.

Tour Day 1

Finally, after seven months of being in the near distance of it, I am able to say that I have been to Paris, France.....and it is spectacular! Stunning! Grandiose! But let me begin at the beginning; not with birth as Dickens once did, but at the conception of the trip.

Having worked almost two whole months without a holiday (ah, but it's a hard, hard life), and with some misgivings on attempting foreign countries and even more foreign languages unescorted, I gave in to the hated idea of package tours and organised a twelve-day taster of Western Europe with a company called Topdeck.

We set off early yesterday morning, leaving England via ferry from the famous white cliffs of Dover, which I am sorry to say were for the most part obscured by scaffolding, buildings, ships and fog. So I'm left to puzzle at the supposed greatness of it, but don't worry, I'll survive the disappointment. Though what with the way some of the Kiwi's were going on (typically enough, the majority of my thirty-or-so companions were Antipodeans), maybe it was only I who didn't get the point. Eh.

My first taste of France was the dockyards of Calais, followed by endless highways, which were disproportionately strange to me as we were driving, literally, on the right side of the road. I'd thought I would have adjusted to the reality of it within a few minutes, but some part of me was still wincing when we hit the traffic in Paris. Though part of that may well have been an escalating panic as we wound our way through what I didn't realise were the backstreets of the city to our hotel. All I knew was that the streets around me were no different to the cities I have inhabited for the last six months; all I knew was a mounting horror that this drab, grey concrete world was Paris.

But the internal histrionics were over once we'd checked in, tracked down our own dinners and were back in the bus for an evening tour of the city. As we wound deeper into the heart of Paris, past monument after monument and into the hustle and bustle of the Parisians, my own heart broke free of its constrictions and began to soar. Ooh, la la! This was Paris! Everything was so very beautiful at night, all lit up and glowing; she was certainly a sight for sore eyes.

Though I cannot remember the correct sequence, famous Parisian monuments we passed or even stopped for photos at included the famous Musée du Louvre (former royal palace, now home of Mona Lisa painting, with giant glass pyramid in courtyard), the Arc du Carrousel (near Louvre, large triumphal tri-arch mounted with four bronze horses pulling a goddess in a chariot), the Place de la Concorde (where most of the famous aristocrats were guillotined during the French Revolution), and the beautiful Avenue des Champs-Elysées (very high-class shopping street) leading up to the Arc de Triomphe de l'Etoile (the largest triumphal arch in the world, and most dangerous roundabout in Paris, with eight main roads stretching out in every direction). We also saw the the Opéra Garnier (one of the best opera houses in the world), the Hôtel des Invalides (built by Louis XIV for maimed or elderly French soldiers), the Musée d'Orsay (famous art museum, formerly a railway station), and the Montmartre area, including its red light district with the infamous Moulin Rouge. We stopped nearby to climb an incredibly steep mountain of a staircase to the top of Montmartre hill to see Le Sacré Coeur, a renowned Catholic church with incredible views over the city.

Speaking of which, it was soon after Montmartre that finally, finally, the teasing was over and the most famous viewpoint of all was revealed to us, la Tour Eiffel, otherwise known as the Eiffel Tower. It's incredibly beautiful at night, all lit up with lights that alternatively shine or twinkle as if they were diamonds. We took about a thousand photos, and I myself risked life and limb to clamber up onto the balcony's balustrade for the blurry, useless picture of me that I've nonetheless added to the blog for that reason alone. But it was a fantastic night, and did not disappoint. Ah, Parie.




Tour Day 2

The second day of the tour was left open for us to explore the city unescorted, so Indie (aussie girl I'd made friends with the day before and shared a double-room with at the hotel) and I spent it touring the sights. Our first priority was the Eiffel Tower, where we ended up in the wrong line and had walked halfway up the 'leg' we were in before realising that the lifts were running in another section of the scaffolding/structure. So at that point we shrugged, laughed, and proceeded to gasp our way to the top. Which is something that I'm actually quite glad I did, because I can now say that I climbed the Eiffel Tower, literally. No wussy lifts for me, by golly. Weeeell, we did have to take a lift for very last floor, but only because there were no stairs for the tip, or I'd have walked that as well....after a very long rest.

And before you laugh, it's 674 steps from the bottom to the second platform (there are three platforms in all), which is the equivalent of about 57 flights of stairs. Not to mention that the steps are made of an iron latticework, so you can see the ground as it disappears into the distance...something I know I appreciated with all the enthusiasm of one who is afraid of heights. Plus, in my own defence, I sporadically ran up the stairs just to get it over with, which was perhaps not the smartest move, but at the time it made me feel like I was getting somewhere. Until I reached the top, that is, when I felt like I would not be getting anywhere at all for at least two days and would have to be removed from the tower by ambulance. Oooh, here's a creepy fact for you: almost four hundred people have fallen or leapt to their deaths from the Eiffel Tower since its opening. Which I'm glad I didn't know at the time; I could also have sworn the structure was swaying a little at some points on the walk up, but apparently it only does that in high winds and is hardly noticeable. So perhaps it was me swaying from fatigue? Eh.

We passed the Louvre but decided there was not enough time to see it properly if we were to experience any of the city as well (it's an absolutely enormous building). Besides which, the queues for Michelangelo's Mona Lisa, the Louvre's most recognisable work, are meant to be ridiculously unbelievable. So instead we returned to see La Garnier Opera house together, as it had been so pretty the night before and the district it was in seemed a good one for seeing the normal Parisians going about their day. Well, okay, I confess, it was because I'd seen the Godiva chocolate shop nearby on the previous night's tour. Priorities....

Another Metro stop later, and despite some endless, badly-directed walking, we were outside the very famous Notre Dame cathedral, scene of Victor Hugo's novel Notre-Dame de Paris or The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Of course, it wasn't until his character Quasimodo was reinvented by Disney that the tourist quota really hit the roof, but the cathedral was actually known as one of the world's best examples of gothic architecture long before that.

We went inside and marvelled at the gothic stained-glass windows, the many small alcoves filled with religious paraphernalia, the enormous organ, the endless gothic arches, and so forth, but decided against climbing the stairs to see the Emanuel bell as there were too many tourists. Bloody tourists, haha. But I took tons of photos of the gargoyles decorating the exterior of the building (they're actually quite angular and ugly, nothing like Disney's interpretation), and was very pleased that we'd taken the time to see the little island (there's also a pretty, wooded park-like area behind the cathedral that we stopped at).

Late afternoon was spent wandering about Montmartre and nearby districts, window shopping and looking for a perfect cafe to have the "truly French" experience of caffeine and people-watching. We settled on Chat Noir (Black Cat), near the Moulin Rouge (where I later bought a ticket for that night's show, which was too expensive for Indie). It turned out to be a fantastic decision; soon after sitting down a pianist inside the establishment that I'd not noticed began to play "Moon River" and some other lovely tunes. We happily relaxed with our drinks and watched the world flow past. It was utterly idyllic.

After some more kicking around we headed for the hotel to change, then to la Tour Eiffel, where the group was gathered for a picnic dinner on the grass nearby (well, on folding chairs, but hey). Afterwards Indie and the rest split into two groups, those who'd chosen to do the river cruise and those who were headed for a Latin Cabaret. I caught a taxi to Montmartre for my Moulin Rouge show, and on the way had a conversation in stilted French with the driver, which I'm really proud of, as up until then Indie, a fluent French speaker, had sort of taken over the conversing-with-strangers-and-asking-directions position.

Moulin Rouge, I am sorry to say, was a disappointment for me. I had paid for an after-dinner show, not wanting to give an arm and leg for the food, and was seated at a table with two friendly elderly Australian couples. We chatted for a while, which was nice, and then the show began with a pre-cabaret skit which was kind of stupid; I'm not a fan of slapstick. The following 'Faerie' show with the cabaret dancers was basically just a titty-show. I'd expected something more in the way of acting, or gymnastics, or something. Hell, okay, to be honest I'm not quite sure what I'd really thought to see, but it was very strange, and more modern than I'd planned on, with the first dancers wearing silver flightsuits. Not all of the acts made sense or had purpose, either. There was one particular scene with women swanning back and forth across the stage, just fluttering their thin skirts and jutting their bare breasts. I, at least, was left wondering at the benefit of this particular act. Though I'm sure the male contingent of the audience understood the finer points, ahem, of the show.

Halfway through the show a giant glass swimming pool appeared from out of the stage floor, filled with enormous anacondas or sea snakes or some form of reptiles. A half-naked woman came prancing over, dived in, and swam amongst the snakes for about two minutes. It was pretty darn amazing, and the best part of the show for me. Although they also did a traditional Cancan dance soon after with the traditional red/blue/white costumes, and that was really good for its historical/recognisable value.




Tour Day 3

Though we began early and did not see much more of Paris today, the journey toward Switzerland included a brief photo stop at Le Chateau Fontainebleau. While the rest of the group wandered about taking photos and listening to our guide Randall (who was a complete yobbo) mumble on, Indie and I went in to use the bathroom, ended up talking with the ticketmaster, and suddenly found ourselves being ushered covertly through into the castle. Score! We pretty much sprinted our way through the halls, taking blurry photos as we went, in an attempt to see it all and rejoin the group before the bus departed. In the end we made it in time and didn't say a word of our secret excursion, not wanting to brag when they'd not been as lucky. But it had been fantastic!

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Photos

Indie and I in lovely cafe
The Cat Cafe, complete with pianist.

Woman Swimming with Pythons
Photo taken from Moulin Rouge program/brochure. One of the best parts of the show. Freaky! Those snakes were enormous.