So my first night in in Costa Rica was a long layover in San Jose. My luggage was checked until Liberia, but they pushed me through customs and out onto the streets of san jose at about 21:00 or 22:00. I was unsure what to do, becauase i had no money for a hotel and I do not speak spanish, oh yeah and the airport was closed... Plus I had to figure out where to catch my next plane since they informed me that my flight leaves from a different building altogether. As I enetered the street into a mob of taxi drivers one of them spoke english and offered to take me to the next airport that was 30 min driving to the next location. I just wandered around with my bags for a few minutes until I found an unlocked door into the airport lobby and resolved to sleep there for the night and figure it out at 04:00. As I was sitting there a guy I had been talking with in the airport (he works there) while I was being pushe through customs approached me and asked me if I was going to be sleeping there. I said "yes." His reply was, "No man, I feel so bad. Come out for some drinks with me, you can crash at my place and we will get you a cab in the morning." Sure why not! So we walk to his car and on the way he points to the building where my plane leaves, which is most certainly not 30 min away, its like a 5 min walk. We go out grab some beers and head back to his place and spend several hours swapping crazy travel stories and then we move into spiritualism and have a great connection. It is just about this time we hear some people outside (no one really uses nor has a/c so the windows were open). Thats when he says, "This beautiful conversation has reached its end I believe. That is my friend from Miami, he is staying here and it sounds like he brought home a hooker." And he most certainly did. Then he continues, "He is a porn star and came down here to film porn. And one last thing you should know about me, I am his camera man." What can I do really at this piont, but go with the flow. Game on.
Douglas Beckham comes in and is in very high spirits with his prostitute. He has her shower and rinse with mouthwash before the shoot. While she is showering they set up some low tech lights and plan out the shoot. She comes in and is very shy, asking for extra money to film it and for us to be in the room of course. He gladly gives her the money and then gets to business. It was the most awkward and unsexy sex I have ever seen two very attractive people have and I commend Doug on being able to keep it up, which he later confessed was difficult for even him this time. For starters she was just very awkward and would not do anything he asked her to and she kept telling jokes the whole time! I mean it was hilarious, but I'm not sure thats what he was going for. At one point she even farted and then became embarrassed and began to laugh alot. A few moments pass and Dough says, "oh are you embarassed, well how about this," and rips one loud and hard, "now we are one for one." I actually fell on the floowr laughing and almost spilled my beer. To add to the strangeness of it she answered her phone 3 times in the middle of if and very casually (as one does when working I suppose.) At one time he got fed up with it and just punded her hard until she had to hang up. Periodically she would stop what she was doing and talk to me and the camera man asking us to join in or at least to masturbate while we watched her. Even Doug offered up this idea more than once and the camera man told me if I wanted to jerk off he would keep me off film. I refused, I do not want to be on film, I do not want to have sex with a hooker, i do not particularly want to jerk off in a room with this going on, nor did I even find any of this arousing in any way. Amusing and because of the circumstances hilarious, but arousing? no. I just stayed in the corne drinking my beer and moving out of the way when necessary.
So at the conclusion of course he goes for the money shot all over her chest and face, mought agape, tongue out. She gets up washes her face and hands and then leaves ready for her next client. GROSS! Douglass cleans up proper like and begins to hang out underwear clad and after digging in his pants and playing with himself he reaches into a bag of cheese and eats some offering me any if I want it. "No thank you, I'm not hungry." i ask him if he is ever worried about diseases and he says "Of course! Thats why I made her take a shower and rinse out her mouth. I don't like to take chances. I have caught chlamydia twice and I don't like it to burn when I pee." And yes ladiesand gentlemen he DID use a condom, still that is not near safe enough for me. We sit around drinking and talking until the sun comes up and its time for me to catch a cab to the airport for my next flight. My host sees me to the cab hugging vigrously and making me swear I will be back before I leave Costa Rica and telling me that Douglas will be gone by then so it will be more mellow.
I get to airport, my plane is late and to keep from falling asleep I have freidnly conversation with a nice family on vacation about education and travel and the usefulness of their little girl learning latin. They have no idea what I just spent my night doing. I get on my plane and immediately pass out waking up as the wheels touch down with a terrible headache from having not popped my ears on the way up nor down and maybe a slight hangover.
Welcome to Costa Rica...
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