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Published: July 25th 2005
The sack or in espanol "el saco" had a very long weekend as usual. We got things started on friday night at a bar in desamporados called Manuellos. A lot of funny things happened here including the grandest marcos story of all. Mark, AKA "Marcos Suave" amongst the costa rican women, actually successfully picked up and got a 24 year old damn good looking tica´s number. I was duely impressed and you would have been too as the whole process was very comical to the point where i think i wet myself. On the way to the bar marcos was asking me for "advice" with the women and goes ... and i quote "Hook a gringo up" haha. gringos are what us americans are called down here. Also, Manuellos, has a digital jukebox full of classic american tunes. So for the next 3 hours the bar was full of a lot of Doobie Brothers, Bruce Springstein and The doors. The Costa Ricans were not having it, and they kept tryign to beat us to the box when the song finished to play some shakira crap, but i was holding it down steady.
So, whenever i tellyou that i´m going somewhere, disregard it, consult a map and pick some random location and the odds of me being there are much better than where i said. I told you we were going to Jacó, but of course we didn´t. Saturday morning, got up early, 5 oclock, to meet the bus at 6, but we´re in costa rica, so everybody runs on tico time which means the bus came at 7 and we were in punta leona around 10. We went to some resort that had one of the most specatular views of the ocean i´ve ever seen. It was gorgeous. i took a bunch of photos, you´ll see em in a month. Then we went to Punta Leona resort where we body surfed for a solid 2 hours and had feast of a lunch that was free i might add, then promptly decided to take a bus to quepos and spend the night. Quepos is the shittiest placei´ve ever been in my life let alone in Costa Rica. It was filthy. We found a pretty nice place to stay though. Cabinas Ramasce at the far end of town, it came out to be about 9 bucks a person for a night with Air Conditioning, and hot showers, booyaaaaaa. Everyone, but me, kate and alex wanted to go to bed, so the three of us hiked out to some hole in the wall bar called Wacky Wanda´s. On the way we purchased 3 nicraguan cigars to celebrate and immediately became celeberties in the bar. Javier, who we called "two stools" because he literally needed to stools to sit on at the bar, and "mute man" who was literally a death, mute costa rican, hung out with us all night, and did shots of tequila and gave us free Imperial beer tshirts and were definitely slightly groaping alexandra and kate haha. Somehow some magical way, like when chuck norris kicked 50 vietnamese asses in a row without getting hurt in Missing in Action 21, alex could communicate with the mute man, only god knows how, but she did, and was one of the most amazing things i´ve ever seen considering alex knows only 2 words in sign language. It was a 100 laughs a minute there, and i learned a ton of spanish somehow. Also, some sketchy guy at the bar told me that when i come back in 3 weeks he could hook me up with a day of fishing inshore real cheap. We´ll see about that. We got lots of great pictures there, that you´ll get to see eventually.
Sunday morning, got up early and checked out by 7 am. Bought tickets for the bus home to san jose, (of course, Mark lost his ticket and had to pay twice when we got on the bus at 3:30), and then we went to manuel antonio national park. this place was spectacular. you hike through the jungle, seeing monkeys, iguanas, tons of birds and some creature that i dont´know what it is yet, but it looks like a cross between a woodchuck and rat. Anyway it was crazy, and you come out on to a bunch of beaches right on the pacific coast that is just drop dead beautiful. The beaches aren´t anything like the USA, where theres tons of houses and giant luxury hotels lining the shore. Theres the jungle, about 20 yards of beach, then the ocean, and its like that for about a mile in each direction. Just awesome. After succesfully builing some outstanding sand castles, body surfing and jungle bushwacking, we rented some sea kayacks and went out for about an hour and a half going through these huge, i mean monstrous rock formations, you won´t understand until you see the pictures how big these things are, way out in the sea and just got and awesome view of the whole national parks coastline.
After the kayacking, we went back to quepos to catch the bus, (I bought 3 bananas for 11 cents, and a coke for 25 cents, i´m only telling you this because those three items make a return later on, if you catch my drift). So I don´t know if i´ve told you what its like to be on a hot stinky bus for 4 and half hours going through about 7003 switch backs on the mountains doing 50 miles an hour on a bus, but its rough.
Insert word of the week: La laguna de culo, which is my own translation of swamp ass. HAha the costa rican´s love it though and always get a crack out of it when i say it outloud on the bus, because it means asshole of swamp haha, because there is no such word for swamp ass in spanish.
Anyway i´m on the bus sweating some major swamp ass and i´m not feeling well, and its even rougher, when you´re dehydrated and got too much sun so your eyes hurt from not wearing sun glasses and you have a monstrous headache. (Mom you´d be proud though, i haven´t gotten sunburned yet, i reapplied with marks 7000 spf suntain lotion like 5 times on sunday)... well anyway, about 3 hours into the bus ride, i was pissed at the bus and the bus driver cus i was sick as hell so i pulled a tidick, for those of you who know what pulling a tidick is, and i stuck my head out the window and vomitted all over the side of the bus while doing 85 kilometers an hour through cartago or some ton like that. don´t worry i got a picture of this too, its fantastic! ahhaa, there was literally about a 10 yard spray of brown banana spew all over the side of the bus and whenever we pulled in somewhere to let people off, the people on the side of the road would start laughing and pointing at it. damn i do good work.
I´ve also decided that i´m going to marry a columbian woman, cus let me tell you there aren´t any better looking women on the face of the earth than columbian chicas. unfortunately when i have to return to the states and i´m surrounded by pale white chunky upstate ny sorority females, i´ll be depressed.
well thats all for now, i´m sure i´m forgetting a bunch of sweet stories from the weekend, but once you see the pictures, you´ll know everthing that happened.
pura vida
luke laczak
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sounds great. me and my infamous friend VICTOR are gonna visit jon this thursday the 28th in good old NC. also, i am expecting the dane cook cd in the mail as of tomorrow, which im pumped about. we'll have to sit down and do a lil watchskie when we get back to 'pale, white chunky upstate ny.' haha. peace and drugs.