Where is Waldo

So, my friend Kelly, who also travels all of the time for work, recently became victim of her airline's new baggage vacation policy. It seems her airlines (which shares the initials of Alcoholics Anonymous) randomly selects luggage from their frequent fliers and sends that luggage on an all expense paid vacation to parts unknown. Unfortunately the owner of the luggage does not get the same privilege and is instead stuck heading to their scheduled destination (well, in Kelly's case, I think she only hit one scheduled destination last week) sans luggage. As this is becoming a more common occurrence, and in light of all of the self help programs out there, I have developed a new 12 step program: Airlines Anonymous: 1. We admitted we were powerless over the evil airline—that our lives had become unmanageable. ... read more

So, I am in my third home... JFK airport in the airport lounge for "My Favorite Airline." So much has happened during my hiatus from the blog. I had the opportunity to watch a family being removed from a plane by Phoenix Police due to a disturbance that they caused in the steerage cabin (didn't they remember what happened to the last passenger that Phoenix PD took into custody???). I had the opportunity to be on a plane that buzzed the JFK Air Traffic Control Tower during a missed approach in the middle of a snowstorm, I had "My Favorite Airline" hold a plane for me so I would not miss my connection (damn customer service, I actually wanted to miss that flight so I could have gone home early), had the opportunity to have someone ... read more

So, normally I spend so much time on here complaining about the general public. So, I guess it is only fair to admit to my own shortcomings when it comes to travel: I had a great trip back from Philadelphia to my hometown via Atlanta (On "My Favorite Airline" of course). Well the trip was not uneventful, however, but that was due to me. First, sitting in the plane in Atlanta waiting to leave, the boarding door closed, my contact pops out and lands somewhere, out there, beneath the pale moonlight (come on, you remember the song from "An American Tale"). Never did find it. So, I spent the flight with one contact in (my contact case along with my saline solution were safely stored in the baggage compartment of the plane as my saline solution ... read more

Ugh, it is early. When my alarm rang at 3:15 this morning, I couldn't believe it was time to wake up. So, now I am sitting in the gate area of my favorite airline. Wow, the quality of the general traveling public is rapidly declining. I am (not by choice) sitting across from a woman who keeps talking about how her crying baby's diaper needs to be changed, yet she is making no effort to change it. Instead, she is whipping her breast out of her shirt and shoving it in the kid's mouth. Now, I am all for breast feeding as a natural, and healthy, way of feeding infants, and respect a woman's right to do it when necessary. However, as a gay man, may I please make one request: BRING A FREAKING BLANKET TO ... read more

Well, if you want to keep me occupied in the airport, feed me gin and tonics.... great way to kill a couple of hours. Of course, after 4 you kind of have to sober up before you can present yourself at the gate. Well, this prima donna decided to NOT take the earlier flight back home tonight (could have flown standby) because it would have meant giving up his exit row aisle seat in exchange for a middle seat. So, I had the wonderful opportunity to spend a few hours in my favorite pub of the week... the airport bar on the upper level of the A Concourse in Denver. You know you travel too much when: 1. The bartenders at the airport bars recognize you and know what you drink. 2. You give directions to ... read more

"The TSA has raised the threat condition to orange. Please report any suspicious activity to the nearest law enforcement official." I love that PA announcement. So, I have been a little lax on writing my blog. I guess it is because nothing really, truly interesting has happened. However, I had another "You travel too much" moment (actually two moments) when I arrived to the airport tonight. 1. It is really, really bad when you recognize that the security line has been remodeled since last week. It has a much more open and airy feel... maybe it is because most people traveling choose to not travel late at night from Phoenix??? 2. It is also really bad when you notice that the gate areas for My Favorite Airline have all been recently painted and the background color ... read more

So, I felt complelled to tell the story of my flight as it reminds me (somewhat) of a flight I took on My Favorite Airline. We schlepped out to the airplane across the tarmac (no, it was an Airbus 320, not a little Regional Jet), and boarded from the rear of the plane (nothing like feeling like a backdoor passenger). And then the fun began. I'm reminded of sitting in an exit row on My Favorite Airline to ATL back several months ago. We had almost finished with the boarding process and the exit row right behind me had two empty seats. Suddenly, two passengers (who truly represented the word "steerage") came lumbering up the aisle from the rear of the plane and planted their rather robust hind ends into the exit row. Well, one of ... read more

Well, ok, so I survived my flight on UnSure AIRrival. Some interesting points to note: 1. Did I get my upgrade... no, I did not. Kind of hard when there are only 4 first class seats on a Boeing 737. Of course, first class on this airline simply means bigger seats and nothing else. 2. Carry-on Luggage: well, I was in Zone #2. A pretty low zone number on any other airline. But oh no, not on UnSure AIRrival. I was the second person in Zone #2 to board and ALL of the overhead bins were full. I had to gate check my carryon (note: I do not attempt to carry-on a suitcase but simply have a rolling bag that carries my laptop, a book, and all of the assorted electrical cords I have to have ... read more