Sorry for late reply Heya Katy,
I'm so sorry that I am only seeing your email now. After I came home from travelling I rarely came back to check my mail!!
Sounds like you have a bit of a dilemma and I am sure alomst a year later that my advice wont help!
Firstly, you remind me of me!! I am not sure if you are living together already, one or two bed aprtment/ house? I can understand if you are both lliving together and he relies on your part of the rent as it is and will be in the crap if you go travelling and he has no way of paying the rent?
In relation to your travelling... let me tell you one thing that I have learned...... the only person who can live your life and do what you want to do.... is YOU! I am going out with my boyfriend the past 6 years, and as you may have seen from my blog, well I went away for the guts of a year and we are still together. In saying that as strong as we were, he is suffering from depression, has gone very lazy, and we are no longer the strong relationship that we were... and for no good cause other than life moved on, we tried to hang in but I guess we are now growing apart. I used to be very sad but I am coming to terms with it and I know that we are hanging in there barely... its really only a matter of time till we are finished... mostly... I will have to find the balls to call it quits ( not that easy after 6 years!).
Anyway the point of what I am saying is that I didn;t postpone my life for my boyfriend ( although he was very supportive of my going away) because he knew I needed to do it, and most importantly... I knew I needed to do it. I also knew that to survive in a relationship it is very important that you retain your individuality. Can you imagine if 6 years down the line you are 30/31 you are no longer with your boyfriend (hypthetically) and you didnt go because he didnt want you to fullfill your dream, and live your life? You would be very anoyed that you didnt do it, and you would be just that little bit older where family and house and jobs are ebcoming alittle bit more important..... Do what you can now.... live your life now.... there is no tomorrow... the only tomorrow is the action that you start today. I sound very deep and if only knew how normal I was, a real jow soap, then you would know that Im speaking from my heart. I often feel that the people on these sites must be a bit odd or have a screw loose 9 maybe makes me more alert to weirdos) but then I think... well i'm on this and I'm normal so hey ....
Anyway, I hope that you made the right decision and by the time that you read this I hope that it will serve as proving to you that you should now go do it if you havent and congratulations if you did.
Live your life as the story that you would like to read and not the story that somebody else wants you to read... its your story... you write it the way you want.... live it the way you want
Namaste
Deborah
Your travelling dilemma has helped me already! Hey,
I have just read your dilemma about travelling and leaving your boyfriend behind! It has been really helpful for me as I am in a similar position right now! I finish uni in June and I am planning to do some travelling next year with one of my course mates. We are unsure at the moment if we will go to South America or Australia/Thailand because it all depends if we get accepted onto a volunteering project in Peru. If we do then we will probably travel for around three months. If we go to Australia we may work there for six months and then travel asia - so this could be a full year. I just moved in with my boyfriend four months ago and he doesn't really have an interest for travelling. This makes me quite sad already because I love it so much - I have been away to Thailand and Tanzania for a month at a time and he stayed behind. This was fine because it was quite a short time but he thinks it is selfish of me to want to travel for longer than three months. We are both 24 and he is quite keen to keep working and buy a house soon but this scares me a little as I am no where near ready to settle, I plan to do that at around 30ish. I have began to doubt the whole relationship because we are so different with our ambitions. He is really sweet and it does work quite well when we are together - we do our own thing as well as going out together but I do feel like this decision will really affect our future as we will be experiencing totally different things and I fear we will grow apart. i am fairly happy to just see what happens but i think he really wants my commitment of paying rent to help him out whilst i am away - help!! Kate
Sawadii Ka,
Dichaun Choo Deborah, Dyindii Ti Di Roocka ka.
(as you can see I've already started to work on my Thai.
I kinda feel like Uncle Matt ( the Fraggles - should you be old/young enough to know them) and his travel diary. As you can see I'm a liitle pre mature in entering the bloogers world as I have not started travelling yet. In fact this time next year I will hopefully already be on my way to Asia. Beginning my journey in India.
I hope that I will have lots of photos and memories to put in this Blog and that I can get lots of advance warning and tips onplaces to go/avo... full info
Uncle Matt
Deborah
Sorry for late reply
Heya Katy, I'm so sorry that I am only seeing your email now. After I came home from travelling I rarely came back to check my mail!! Sounds like you have a bit of a dilemma and I am sure alomst a year later that my advice wont help! Firstly, you remind me of me!! I am not sure if you are living together already, one or two bed aprtment/ house? I can understand if you are both lliving together and he relies on your part of the rent as it is and will be in the crap if you go travelling and he has no way of paying the rent? In relation to your travelling... let me tell you one thing that I have learned...... the only person who can live your life and do what you want to do.... is YOU! I am going out with my boyfriend the past 6 years, and as you may have seen from my blog, well I went away for the guts of a year and we are still together. In saying that as strong as we were, he is suffering from depression, has gone very lazy, and we are no longer the strong relationship that we were... and for no good cause other than life moved on, we tried to hang in but I guess we are now growing apart. I used to be very sad but I am coming to terms with it and I know that we are hanging in there barely... its really only a matter of time till we are finished... mostly... I will have to find the balls to call it quits ( not that easy after 6 years!). Anyway the point of what I am saying is that I didn;t postpone my life for my boyfriend ( although he was very supportive of my going away) because he knew I needed to do it, and most importantly... I knew I needed to do it. I also knew that to survive in a relationship it is very important that you retain your individuality. Can you imagine if 6 years down the line you are 30/31 you are no longer with your boyfriend (hypthetically) and you didnt go because he didnt want you to fullfill your dream, and live your life? You would be very anoyed that you didnt do it, and you would be just that little bit older where family and house and jobs are ebcoming alittle bit more important..... Do what you can now.... live your life now.... there is no tomorrow... the only tomorrow is the action that you start today. I sound very deep and if only knew how normal I was, a real jow soap, then you would know that Im speaking from my heart. I often feel that the people on these sites must be a bit odd or have a screw loose 9 maybe makes me more alert to weirdos) but then I think... well i'm on this and I'm normal so hey .... Anyway, I hope that you made the right decision and by the time that you read this I hope that it will serve as proving to you that you should now go do it if you havent and congratulations if you did. Live your life as the story that you would like to read and not the story that somebody else wants you to read... its your story... you write it the way you want.... live it the way you want Namaste Deborah