After crossing the fjord to get to Norway, I dropped in to see my distant cousin in Frognerparken. Kermit told me that he had spotted my elusive wabbit near the hanging balls. As I only found shriveled nuts; most probably due to the cold, I decided to go for a few drinks with me EPL mates before heading back to England as I knew my preciousssss would end up there. Too many drinks had I; missed plane did I. Eventually made it to the North; missed wabbit by a gnats pe$@s. Spoke to nice elderly couple, they said go south young Toitle and see Oprah, I mean opera. Spoke to the Phantom; his mask was not as good as mine, but he sang better than the guy on the boat. Told me to go where the best curry is, so went to India. Spoke to friendly young men with hooks; don’t know why they had them, they told me to go and speak to Taj. I was closing in; I can feel your presence Phillip. Following the trail to the fort, got crapped on by an elephant. After cleaning myself; just caught the train. Booked first class; top of train and slept under the stars, bit chilly at night and wind in your ears, but food was good. Checked into hotel where “hole in the Wall” gang stayed. Went for walk next day; spotted, I see the wabbit surrounded by people who want photo’s taken. I have you now I thought or said; it was one of them. When….. bang I was nabbed by some Navy boys and shipped out. Shipped out being all the way back to Dublin. So so close; you are a lucky wabbit. There will be a next time you wait and see.
Now in Wengen, Papah you did not tell me how cold it was, I forgot my scarf. Getting close now, I can smell that pesky wabbit. Eventually reached top of Jungf#2@*ch (however you say it). Found fresh droppings and spoke to frosty (what was left of him); I knew I was close. Wabbit was headed back down; bugger, no time for sightseeing. Sliding down; I knew this shell would come in useful, came across a strange looking guy. He kept talking about “My Preciousssss”, weird. He told me to follow the three shiny rocks as they are engaged. I thought, and thought and thought, and then realised this will be the next adventure. Reached bottom of mountain in quick time, what a rush, shell worn, but man what a rush. Spoke to a Gentle man who said he had been shouted at by young blonde girl with a rabbit peeking out her rucksack. I knew I was close now. The trail took me though Helsinki and Stockholm, spoke to Rod who sang into my eyes – this guy has got a problem…Following up rumour they are headed to Norway. Saw strange person sitting on step, crossed to other side of road. Getting close wabbit; I can smell you.
I'm Back 2 Now in Salzburg, daylight fading fast. Met an old lady who spoke about two young foreigners who were eating chocolates and never offered her one, very in hospitable. Bought a bus ticket from nice lady, I then missed the bus (will have to get faster legs), so bunkered down in some holiday house which was owned by a man with funny mark above his lip. Hopped on train next day (hopped is not correct word– pesky wabbit). To recharge my batteries decided to have a sleep, found some nice comfy leaves, I was in heaven. Just getting comfortable, when….Bang, thrash, silly giggling. This stupid person shocked the shell out of me; if I find out who you are, you will get a quick one, two. Now fully awake, found a Brie, what’s this Philip has been here, spoke to Cheddar who said go to to Luzern. After walking on cobbled streets, Bang again… two hoons on rollerblades nearly squashed me. Spoke to Papah in fondue, he is a real cheese of a guy. He said “go Wengen young Toitle”.
My Precious We swears to serve the master of the precious. We will swear on... on... the precious.
It came to me, my own, my love... my... preciousssss.
I'm Back You may be wondering what I have been doing since my escape from the Dublin cell (packpack).
I hooked up with the underground leprechauns and made my way to the giants causeway to swim across to Scotland (avoiding those two fighting giants). I then joined the Wallace clan and made my way to England (thanks Mel). I was told to meet a virgin called Richard who would get me a flight to America.
After a month in America and undergoing a strict regime of Ninja training (thanks Chuck - nice guy, great mover); I am now ready to hunt down that pesky Wabbit and reclaim my place.
Now in Europe (thanks Elios) and following the droppings. See you soon Wabbit.
WTF If that young woman comes back, i'll bury her. It took me days to collect and create an artistic mountain of leaves and 5 minutes for a Aussie hoon to conquer and destroy.
Oooh it sounds like you may have stayed at the same hostel we did, it was really close to a burlesque place. Hehe. Was it at the bottom of a hill by the castle? Wonder if the shower was still dyed purple from me dyeing (sp?) my hair pink and purple :)
My Nick would be jealous of the whiskey sampling!
Haggis Joke A haggis goes into a pub and orders up a bottle of the best whisky.
“You’re looking awfy smug wae yerself,” says the barman.
“Aye,” says the haggis, “Ah’ve jist been sewing ma wild oats.”
Ode to Crier Oyez! Oyez!” Swing that bell; Fit to wake the hounds of hell,
Shame the harlot, scold the whore; Shoot the bolts the cat house door.
Rouse thee daughters, stir thy sons; Fire the gin stills, tack the dray;
Call the sunrise cast her spell; “Six the clock and all is well!”
Welcome to my World Hello Countess; Do you know the significance of the kiss? You are nourishment to me. Blood of my blood. Flesh of my flesh. My beautiful wine press. We shall cross land and sea together. Land and sea.
Homesick.... Your antics are making me rather homesick for old Blighty and you have struck it lucky having landed in time for the recent UK \'heatwave\' of up to 28 degrees. I am sure you would have seen all the Nanna\'s in Whitby fainting in the extreme weather conditions.
However, my main comment is the disappointment in your consistency. What happened to the Local Drink, Local Food and Local Soundtrack idea - its fallen by the wayside already! And i missed one off - I also had an 'interesting fact' from each location too. No pressure......
Looking forward to your next post. Stay safe and have fun!
Papah also said: Be wary of monkey\'s sitting on shoulder as they will endow you with gifts from the bowel of enlightenment\".
Just read tweets from Queeny; \' send forth and deploy my men who wear funny hats and apprehend those two yong hooligans who are drinking Fosters and eating FishnChips with Mushy Peas. Incarcerate them in the Tower and put the Ninja Toitle in in the caged Tank.
Ninja Toitle
non-member comment
After crossing the fjord to get to Norway, I dropped in to see my distant cousin in Frognerparken. Kermit told me that he had spotted my elusive wabbit near the hanging balls. As I only found shriveled nuts; most probably due to the cold, I decided to go for a few drinks with me EPL mates before heading back to England as I knew my preciousssss would end up there. Too many drinks had I; missed plane did I. Eventually made it to the North; missed wabbit by a gnats pe$@s. Spoke to nice elderly couple, they said go south young Toitle and see Oprah, I mean opera. Spoke to the Phantom; his mask was not as good as mine, but he sang better than the guy on the boat. Told me to go where the best curry is, so went to India. Spoke to friendly young men with hooks; don’t know why they had them, they told me to go and speak to Taj. I was closing in; I can feel your presence Phillip. Following the trail to the fort, got crapped on by an elephant. After cleaning myself; just caught the train. Booked first class; top of train and slept under the stars, bit chilly at night and wind in your ears, but food was good. Checked into hotel where “hole in the Wall” gang stayed. Went for walk next day; spotted, I see the wabbit surrounded by people who want photo’s taken. I have you now I thought or said; it was one of them. When….. bang I was nabbed by some Navy boys and shipped out. Shipped out being all the way back to Dublin. So so close; you are a lucky wabbit. There will be a next time you wait and see.