It is true what they say about Full Moon's

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So having a rough time...this entry might be more like a diary entry than a blog..I would write in my journal but there isn't any power in my bungalow. So have been travelling with Julie and a few days ago we met up with a friend of a friend of her's named Alex and his friend Shawn. The first day on Kophangan was pretty good. It was pouring rain when we got off the boat in the morning but s'ok. We met up with Alex and his friend and they took us to look around at some cheaper bungalow's. Alex had booked us one night in the same place he was staying but it was REALLY expensive like $25 each but was pretty nice, had a pool of the porch and heated water and A/C! So I went on the back of Shawn's scooter and felt pretty good cause I had been on a few, wait, it was a motorbike which I hadn't been on. We started driving up this REALLY steep hill to see a bungalow and he slowed down quite a bit and apparently he couldn't get to his brake and we started to slide back...I lost my sandals and he his shoes and the motor cycle could have rolled onto me if I lost my footing completly but I mananged to stop and then stopped Shawn...dear lord..my heart was beating SOO fast. I guess these things happen to everyone here and no I'm not longer a "Kophangan Virgin" as they would say. This island has the number 1 accidents too I read in my lonely planet and I told that to Shawn before we got on to his bike, maybe I shouldn't have cause I jinxed it. So we laughed it off and checked out this bungalow that was up this hill and by the name we got to it we were out of breath...so we said no and ended up getting a semi expensive bungalow down the road. So we ended up hanging out by the pool and then headed down for dinner at the hotel's restaurant. Was very expensive and I almost bought just rice but Shawn bought me dinner because I bought him a few drinks earlier. We had such an amazing dinner and I was in awe...then we headed down a little bit to a "Pool Party" where there was a Dj and the 4 of us danced a bit but then we all went into the pool and swam for a few hours..was really fun. So I thought that was the beginning of a great time on this island but in the morning when I woke up, 2 of Alex's other friends came out to go to another beach and they all spoke french...omg..was ok for a bit, was funny actually but when we ended up having dinner or whatever later I wanted to kill myself. Only occasionally would Julie translate for me. I ended up going to bed around 11pm last night in the bungalow that Julie and I paid for...but she has been staying with Alex...so this morning Julie came back to the bungalow and we had breakfast with Alex...totally felt like the third wheel. Then we saw Shawn, Dominic, and Antonie...they didn't even say hello to me and just spoke in french. Then they just left without saying goodbye. I was a little hurt because Shawn seemed very nice the night before. So I was happy because all of us hanging out is really annoying cause they all speak french but when there is a few of us it's easier because they talk to me in english. So anyway, I had to rent a scooter which I didn't want to knowing the whole accident rate..but did anyway otherwise i would be stuck in this area that is expensive and has nothing. So we went about 30 mins and stopped where there were elephants and monkey's!! There was a baby one about 40 months old and it jumped all over you haha..Julie and Alex paid to sit on the elephants and I took some pictures, but then went back to the monkey and played with it...until it bite me haha...it felt like a human bite and didn't cause any blood. It was still cute though but we left and drove down to the downtown to do some shopping but they ran into another Quebec couple...ughh oh yay and decided that we were going for lunch to there friends restaurant..in french they decided of course and i thought if I had to go for lunch and sit there and talk to myself I would shoot myself so I said I would come back...I did a tiny bit of shopping and came back...sat there for about 20 mins talking to myself and then we left... I came back to my bungalow and fell asleep for a few hours and was dreaming about going to the Full Moon party tonight and was watching Tv with some friends...but the power went out and we were waiting for it to come on...so I woke up for some reason..and went to turn the fan on but it wouldn't turn on..then I went to flick the lights on, but it wouldn't turn on... power was off..and i had recently discovered that the light I bought for these type of occasions doesn't work.. so I had to use a light off my alarm that kept going off. Oh and did I mention it is dark out. I got dressed as best as I could and drove down to Alex's bungalow but they are napping still.. I guess it's just my area that has no power...and so now Iam at the hotel where it just began to downpour... no where to go but here.. I'm really hoping it stops to rain before 11pm tonight or else the full moon party will suck a lot and i don't know if i will go.. I have a bad feeling about this but I'm hoping its just negative thoughts from hanging out with those damn quebecers! haha ahh i haven't had to test myself like this before...it's a big scary..knowing u are totally alone... I was ok with Julie because she and I were single, bla bla bla and now her and Alex are planning on travelling together... barf..haha. I'm just jealous I'm sure. The lonely feeling keeps coming up.. I don't like this island and it gives me a bad feeling. Not many nice beaches and it's so big. I'm thinking of going back to Koh Tao? And then go to Phi Phi in a few days. I need to ditch these frenchies anyways or else Iwill just become more and more depressed... I would rather be by myself than listen to them..may sound mean but it's driving me nuts. Tonight should be fun and I might have to ditch them but the problem is, it's about an hours drive from here and I know I will be able to get a ride back but ahhh just being alone sucks sometimes. Good idea to travel by myself? Maybe, maybe not..time will tell! Anyways..I hope I didn't scare anyone. Everything will be fine, just my own personal demons... it's good and then bad..but its just this island..maybe tomorrow I will leave?? We will see! xo

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