Vietnam

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We arrived in Hanoi around mid-day after a short flight from Bangkok. We found the 'Tourist Office' which was a front for a hotel chain and booked a few nights in Hanoi and a Taxi into the city at a pre-determined fixed price!

The journey into the city would have been hair-raising were it not for the fact that we have now learned to ignore the overwhelming urge to crawl under the seat in fear and just shut our eyes and pretend we're somewhere else, anywhere will do.

In Vietnam scooters outnumber other multi-wheeled vehicles by 200 - 1 (this is a made up statistic, but it should help you to visualise the scene). The road markings are there for aesthetic purposes only and over-taking is performed by driving right up behind someone and then hooting and flashing your lights until they get out of the way.

If you are on a scooter, you are expected to hoot at least once every 5 seconds just to let those on the road around you know that you are still there. There are roughtly 2 million scooters in Hanoi (this may be a made up statistic as we heard it from a tour guide) and at a guess 90% of them are on the road at any given stage all hooting at least once every 5 seconds, mostly more often, some continuously. This makes for quite a cacophony and is somewhat difficult to sleep through - earplugs are an essential travel companion in this country. When approaching a junction on a scooter, it is essential that you do not look either left or right and that you only adjust your speed if absolutely necessary. Traffic lights only apply to vehicles with more than 2 wheels! We found a junction with 5 roads leading into it which provided us with hours of entertainment - better than the movies.

As a pedestrian, crossing the road is relatively simple, you just step out into the road and slowly walk across. Theoretically the traffic will go around you and you end up on the other side safe and sound. The key is not to look left or right, and what ever you do, don't run, you won't stand a chance!. The first time takes an enormous leap of faith, but arriving on the other side unscathed is an exhilarating experience.

As mad as the driving is throughout Asia, it seems to work. It took us a while to work out why and what made it different from the UK until one day it dawned on us - there is no road rage. If people drove in the UK like they do in Asia, there would be road rage carnage, the roads would come to a standstill and murder would be commonplace. For all the hooting and flashing of lights and manoeuvres too dangerous to even include in a Playstation game, no-one ever seems to get upset, it's expected, so you just keep on going, preparing to evade the next maniac and hopefully get to your destination in one piece, cool, calm and collected.

Hanoi is a fascinating city, capitalism is evident everywhere, but there is still an underlying current of communism. We were there the week before the APEC conference and you got the impression that everyone was on their best behaviour and those that wouldn't toe the line had been invited to go elsewhere for a few days. It is a bustling city, with tall narrow buildings whose architecture has been heavily influenced by the French. The buildings are narrow due to an old law which calculates tax based on street frontage.

The pavements are used as parking for scooters or informal restaurants, bars and markets so you find yourself walking on the road quite a lot. We weren't hassled half as much as in the rest of Asia but the simple act of buying a coke is just as much of an ordeal. Everything is hugely overpriced for foreigners so bargaining is essential in all transactions. Even though the foreigner price is still a bargain by western standards, you still get the feeling you're being ripped off and so you bargain as a matter of principle.

Wandering the streets you soon notice that almost everyone is wearing the same type of ill fitting and extremely uncomfortable looking plastic sandals - someone obviously bought a job lot and made a killing! Don't be surprised either if a kid walks up and pinches or slaps you on the arm or leg, this is done purely as entertainment gained from the reaction they get, there is no malice intended.

We stayed at the Pacific Prince Hotel in the old quarter of Hanoi. It is very narrow and noisy but clean and comfortable, though the breakfasts leave a lot to be desired. Ordering Coffee in Vietnam can lead to some interesting results, Phil ordered a white coffee and when a black coffee arrived he enquired as to the whereabouts of the milk. Informed that the milk had already been added he gave it a stir and lo and behold it turned a muddy colour, a large dollop of condensed milk had been added!

The free internet provided by the Hotel proved next to useless. The PC was slow and virus ridden, which we discovered when we tried to use our USB stick later in our trip, fortunately no damage was done.

On our first evening in Hanoi we took a stroll around Hoan Kiem lake in the Old Quarter. It was a lovely evening and we were fascinated with all the sights and smells and apparent craziness in abundance. The Vietnamese women, mainly dressed in what can only be described as pyjamas, were happily taking a stroll around the lake or running a curb side restaurant. There was not a lot of evidence of men doing any work.

The next day we followed the walking tour of the Old Quarter recommended by the Lonely Planet Guide. It was a very interesting walk, with each street seemingly devoted to a specific trade from Buddhas to sinks, tacky decorations to scrap metal.

We booked the rest of our activities in Vietnam through our hotel, probably not the cheapest way of doing things, but definitely the easiest. We started with a City Tour of Hanoi which took us to the Ho Chi Min Mausoleum, some pagodas, the Museum of Ethnology, the Temple of Literature (which had a fantastic display of Bonsai trees) stopping for lunch at the Kangaroo Café and a bit of shopping at a Silk art shop where all the artwork is made by the handicapped. It was a long day made longer by a rather bossy guide whom we couldn't understand at all, granted he can speak more English than we can Vietnamese, just not so that anyone else can understand.

Laura ordered 2 traditional Vietnamese silk outfits (Ao Dias) which were made to measure and ready for her when we returned to Hanoi.

Whilst in Hanoi we also went to the famous water puppet show, it was very clever but we didn't have a clue what the story was about. There was an introduction in English, but from then on it was anyone's guess. Afterwards we had coffee and cake on a 3rd floor balcony overlooking a busy junction, which provided additional entertainment for the evening.

Next up was a day tour to Tam Coc which included a short visit to the ancient capital city, some more temples (at this stage we were pretty much templed out!) and the highlight of the day - a boat trip up the river to see the Tam Coc, which are basically tall islands of rock dotted around the landscape. It was very pleasant until we got to the turning point and were hassled to buy a drink, when we said no, we were then encouraged to buy a drink for our guide. Those that did so were disappointed when the guide then sold the drink back to the vendor! Fortunately we had been pre-warned about this. We were also subjected to a return journey of attempted silk embroidery sales by the rower's wife - they are very persistent but we managed to resist. A tip was also demanded at the end of the trip - they have a lot to learn about tourism in Vietnam! The funniest part of the day was watching the men row the boats with their feet - very impressive - and a little wierd!

Our next adventure was a 2 day trip to Halong Bay with an overnight stay on a large wooden junk. It was a great trip and the bay is beautiful, though very busy with shipping traffic. There are nearly 2000 islands in the bay - all tall rock structures sticking up hundreds of feet out of the water. We were in a group of 15 which was a nice size and there was plenty of space on the boat. On the trip we saw a floating fishing village - complete with school, a fish farm, bottles of snake/scorpion wine for sale - snake/scorpion included. We also stopped at some wonderful caves and did a bit of kayaking - all in all a very enjoyable two days.

We left Hanoi the evening we got back from Halong Bay and took the overnight bus to Hue. The bus trip was an adventure in itself and we certainly came away with a few more grey hairs than we started with. It was a 13 hour trip and hair-raising doesn't even come close to describing it. There was a lot of braking, swerving, hooting and flashing lights and the toilet stops provided some pretty grim sights and even worse smells. Along the way we tried to distract ourselves by looking for bizarre scooter cargoes - Pigs, Dogs, a load of car tyres, chest of drawers, full length mirror, flower display, goldfish in bags and 5 people on one bike were amongst our finds!

We spent 3 days in Hue and managed to fit in a walk around the old city and the imperial palace, a cyclo trip, a boat trip and the highlight was a guided scooter trip. Laura rode pillion with a guide and Phil braved his own bike. They don't take health and safety too seriously in Vietnam so there were no crash helmets in sight. The trip was really good fun and a great way to see and experience Vietnamese life. The trip took us past some old French bunkers, more temples and pagodas, tombs, a Japanese bridge, a local food market and some lovely countryside. our guide was quite funny and when he was describing something and you said - "Oh yes, just like such and such", he would look at you, nod and say - "Same, same, but different". We booked the trip at a cafe called Cafe on Thu wheels - the owner is a mad Vietnamese woman called Thu. We spent the evening after the trip in the Cafe getting quite drunk and at one stage Thu stuck a cocktail stick in the top of Phil's head and set it alight - apparently her party trick. As we said she's a bit mad!

Having run out of time in Vietnam we took the overnight bus back to Hanoi - yet another harrowing experience topped by a stand-up argument with a taxi driver outside our hotel at 5 o'clock in the morning because his meter was rigged and we weren't prepared to pay the full fare. He locked our luggage in his car, Laura called him a bad man, Phil gave him threatening looks and the concierge came out in his boxer shorts looking rather sleepy and gave the taxi driver hell too. We ended up paying a compromised fare, but with both sides feeling hard done by.

Our last day in Hanoi we fetched Laura's Ao Dias - very beautiful, drank fresh beer (Bia Hoi) at a street bar and booked a fixed fare taxi to the airport where we were delighted to find a Burger King!

Good Bye Vietnam!!!

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