Bygones be bygones, I likey Saigons

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So im getting alot of feedback that North Vietnam is actually a beautiful and wonderous place. I do love a good arguement, but given my submissive North Vietnamese attitude, ill be more than happy to agree with you at this point. I do regret not spending more time enjoying North Vietnam and all its wonders, but the simple fact is that Cam and I were not there at the right time of year, and given Cam's limited schedule, and as well as my somewhat less limited schedule, not to mention carpe diem, there was no choice that made more sense than acting like a true muslim and going to the land of milk and honey (Sidenote: while technically being Catholic I practise no religious faith. trange, I go to temples seemingly every week now days, for various reasons).

Mui Ne to Saigon was a simple enough journey. So simple, that I do not remember anything noteworthy, other than rice paddies. Later I heard that Vietnam is the worlds second largest producer or rice, with is contray to the lonely planet which states that its number 1. Either way, what would be a palm tree oil plantation in Indonesia or coffee stores in the west, had been put aside for rice production in Vietnam. In what is an increasingly rare occurance, the bus dropped us off right in the centre of the tourist district. Every time I get a bus we get let off 5, 10, 25 kms out of town and require a tuk-tuk/songtaew to get to our desination. Buoyed by our good fortune, Cam and I begin walking through the enivitable crowd of touts with looks of horror when we didn't want to stay at their respective guesthouses. Satisfied, due to the lonely planet map, that our guesthouse is about 300 meters away, we set off down the main tourist strip. Now to tangent slightly, touts are a part of life in Asia. I don't begrudge their attitude or existance. Given the right circumstances I could conceivably do the same thing. What I don't like is when someone doesn't know they are beaten/unwanted. About 100 meters down the road, and 10 touts later, a little old lady starts on the usual technique of "hey, you need room. Cheap room, stay here" which we repsonded with "No thankyou, we know where we are going". 50 meters later I notice she is still following us, upon which "you stay here, good price"... "no thanks, we are okay". Upon reaching the intersection we are looking for, she says "madame Cucs is here, just over there, nice place". Now obviously this is where we were aiming for, but I didnt want to make that obvious, so I said something in the mould of "thankyou for your advice but we are quite capable of finding our own way. Please stop following us. Which way are you going because we will walk the other way" to which she replied "hey, this is my country. I go where I want. If you dont like it you can leave". Ive heard this sentence used many times before, but never directed at me. Or for that matter, a western person. Welcome to Saigon. The old cow made us somewhat uncomfortable, following us to our guesthouse probably trying to claim some type of commission, and then waiting out front for the next 2 hours, but she didnt speak to us again. Cam found it hilarious, while I was somewhat concerned for my various posessions being later stolen by her accomplices.

Saigon (referred to as Ho Chi Minh in the north) is equal to Hanoi in terms of road craziness but somewhat more enjoyable. On our first night Cam and I met some Canadians, Carly, Crystal and Adam. A little new to the travelling game, but fun none the less. I introduced them to Indian food (which Crystal hated but the other 2 embraced wholeheartdly), went spa-ing with Crystal on the roof top pool, sauna, spa and massage parlour, shopping in the markets with Cam, drinking in the hole-in-the-wall bars with the whole crew on the street. Saigon is a very cosmopolitan city, with burger bars, coffee shops, nightime expos and thriving nightlife. One thing Ill remember about Saigon, is the hole-in-the-wall bars. A big beer for 50 cents, good meal for 1 dollar (mmmmm spring roles), conversation for free! Many a night started this way and often finished in a similar mould. When it comes to Saigon memories, I'm sorry to say that I really didnt get to see many landmarks or sights. No trips to the Chu Chi tunnels (seriously, why would I want to do that) or Museums etc. I remember the thriving streets of massage parlours, curry restaurants, "My pho" T-shirts, the cat shit coffee Cam purchased and more than anything New Years Eve.

Cam abstained from NYE on medical groups, so it was up to me and the Canadians to celebrate the new year, as well as the lovely local lady Adam picked up from the massage parlour. Several beers later, it dawned on us that a night out on the usual street would not do, so we went in search of bigger and better things. I have to say, I have never seen nearly as many parked scooters in my life. On a usual day the roads of Saigon look like a parking lot, but on this particular evening, the roads were jammed with parked bikes completly voiding the roads. Streets became parking lots, pathways became supermarket checkout queues. Think NYE on Darling Harbour, but on the Princess Highway. With considerable effort, we made it to the popular area to enjoy the fireworks, albeit there were no bars, nor stalls selling drinks. It was a family affair. So looking around at Louis Vuitton, Rolex, Emporio Armani etc. stores. We eventually noticed that there was a party on the 10th floor of the hotel above all these stores. At this point I should mention that while the ladies were dressed appropriately, Adam and I were in singlets, scruffy shorts and thongs. Im a backpacker, and walking into the Saigon Ritz on NYE goes somewhat against the code. Still, we sucked up our courage and gave it a shot. Turns out, they didnt care about dress code, as long as you paid the 600,000 dong entrance fee (about $30). This is a hell of a lot of money locally, but given the location and circumstance I was happy to spot the extra money to those who were not monetarily fiscal. I should say that this cover charge included free drinks until 1am... and not just imported beers. Scotch and coke, Champagne, whatever you wanted. Unfortunately we arrived at about 11:30, so it didnt matter how hard we tried we could no make up the difference, money was being lost, but the view made up for it. Looking around at our fellow celebratories, one could only feel underdressed. Men wearing pants, shirts, jackets, boe-ties and various other 1950's style attire, while ladies were wearing evening gowns and looking right at home at a western cocktail party. The dj was awesome (wont ever hear me say that again) and the dance floor was packed.

Ive been guilty of slipping the sneaking in a NYE kiss a few times in the past but despite my best efforts no such luck this particular evening. A certain Canadian girl was far more interested in the fireworks and hugging her friend, so I diverted my attention elsewhere. Ive been deliberately avoiding talking about the ladies in this blog, and Ill continue to do so, but I have an intersting point to make here. Gents, here is a unique situation. A stunningly beautiful, scandanavian girl is dancing by herself on the dance floor (on NYE of all nights). What do you do. Obviously, you go and talk to her! Im still happily (in hindsight, failingly) trying it on with the Canadians, but curious at the same time. Time and time again, I see people walk up to the aforementioned lady, try out their charms, try dancing, try grabbing... all to no avail. Seriously, 6, 7 times I watched far more beautiful men than I walk up to this Venus Di Milo and be ignored. This mirage of beauty was obviously untouchable. And still she continud to dance alone. No circle of friends, no girlfriends, no-one. Much like a mirage, you could look all you like, but chase after her at you peril, as she didn't exist in the physical world. I did put my 2 cents in at one point, fail, thereby killing any long dead chances with said Canadians, but more for face value then anything else. What type of man would I have been if I didnt try! The lady went home by herself eventually. Wasnt to be, be it me or Fabio.

The night petered out around 3am, and we did manage to get the music to come back on, but the party was dead at this point so time to go home to bed. Cam and I arranged to go to the Mekong Delta the day after, which had some mildly amusing moments, including me finally cracking open my birthday scotch (2 weeks later) with some random German guys in My Tho. Visiting the coconut candy factory, eating some awesome seafood, encountering fishing farms, croc farms, silk warehouses etc. was a good way to pass an hour but harldy has enjoyable. 3 days later we returned to Saigon knowing that we had killed 3 days cheaply but it really wasnt worth the effort of staying in a different bed each night. Met up again with the Canadians but they had split as a group and on their last day seemingly snobbed me on their way to the bus (see my upcoming blog for more explination). Cam's flight to Bangkok came all to quickly on the 4th of January and I was severly tired of Vietnam, so a little R'and'R on Cambodia was due. i hadnt spent a day by myself in almost 2 months and was really looking forward to it! Cambodia, do your worst!

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