'NAM

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First impressions of 'NAM, i believe it is known amongst war heroes (hmmm), were somewhat mixed. I'd heard a few bad reviews, but tried to go with an open mind... We chose a tricky place to cross the border, entering at some tiny little town who's main purpose appeared to be ripping off any unfortunate tourists who passed through. After much confusion, we finally got someone to drive us to the next big-ish town for 10 dollars, where we might catch a bus to Hanoi.... trying to help (as it turned out but at the time, ooo we were mad!) the couple driving caught up with the bus and we got off in some random place, where some joker tried to charge us 25 dollar for the bus! We spit our dummies a bit, refused to pay, and demanded the couple took usto the town they promised. They didn't understand, and our only translator was the bus con-artist, who claimed there car had broken down (!), and started screaming at us that if we thought we were being conned we should call the police or God. Yeh. So not the best start! Eventually the couple drove us on, begrudgingly we thought... but as it turns out, they drove us to their house in the next town, where their nephew spoke english, invited us in for tea, got us a place to stay, and secured us a more 'local' price for the bus the next day! So yeh, bit of a mixed bag as far as first impressions go... the next day we stopped in some town which had no usable banks, and roads swamped with women in conical hats and men in metal WW1 looking army helmets. But yes, eventually we made it to hanoi, but our better mood was destroyed when 10 different taxi / motorbik. tuk tuk drivers swarmed on us as soon as we stepped of the bus, and yelled at us various extortionate prices for transport as they surrounded us in an imprenatrable huddle. I can't ex0plain how awful it was, but we were at breaking point! Luckily, some girl saw our struggle and ran over to help - showed us what bus we could get, despite the men then directing their screams and abuse at her, and we finally managed to fight our way out and get on board!

So, where did we go? First stiop was ofcourse the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum, where his dead body is maintained for all to see. Lovely. Unfortunately, there was a queue of approx 1 MILLION people trying to get in, so we thought we'd leave it for later! Actually as it happened, we ended up going there 3 times in all! the second time the actual mausoleum and museum were closed, and then 3rd time lucky when we quickly popped over while waiting for the bus outta there. It was really creepy actually... its embalmed i assume, and looks a little bit alive. You basically just file past it as security guards prod you to hurry and tell you to be quiet (well, they told me and sofia to be quiet, everyone was free to do as they pleased!). We also went to the Ho Chi Minh mueseum, where we hoped to discover a little more about the man, but were instead greeted with various bizarre modern art installations representing various aspects of his life. Our favourite example was a representation of a cave he lived in, in the style of a brain. It looked like neither. We left confused.

Next was the Temple of Literature, where some europeans attempted to queue jump us, prompting me to respond in the only way and englishman can. by speaking loudly about how rude it is to push in. I'm well hard me. Once inside we did what the locals did, which was touching the head of every one of the 100 odd turtle statues there. Apparently its for luck in passing exams, and you never when one of thems gonna crop up so you know, worth a shot. Next was the Mueseum of Enthnology, on our way there a young lad on a motorbioke grabbed sofia's boob. which was nice. But then we met a nice young local lad who was also going to the mueseum. Sadly, we had to spend the next half hour trying to shake him off, after he took the role of 'guide', whixh seemed to involve of following us about, pointing at things we were already looking at and reading aloud the odd sentence from the english placards, and glancing at exhibits for a minute and then tutting and running off, giving the impression we were taking to long and holding him up?! Not quite sure what he was doing there, but anyway! Loads of stuff about ethnic minority groups... but there were 2 briliant things about it. the first was loads of rude statues (tee hee) which adorned some kind of coffin, and the second was the brides. For some reason, it seems that the mueseum's grounds are a wedding photo hotspot! seriously we saw about 20 couples snapping away, in every direction. it was so surreal! We amused ourselves by stalking them for a while, and giggling at their ridiculous poses of love. the poor groom was often left looking on....

So yes, first experience in Nam a mixed bag... i think what it comes down to is treatment of tourists. its all local price and tourist price, and everything takes so much angry haggling... and they can be really agressive about it, yelling, grabbing your arm - really pisses you off! But, we also met some really nice people, plus the country certainly has its charm - i loved for example, on the bus back from the mueseum actually just looking at the craziness out the window - the mental traffic (lanes are not an issue here. just drive. the scariest thing was when i sat in the front of a cartaxi and watched 20 motorbikes burning straight twards us. but you know.. they always swerve?!) and playing badminton in the street, and the barbers are brilliant too - just a chair, a barber, and a mirror nailed to a tree. God and crossing the road is quite an experience... thebest method it seems, if you have the stomach for it, is just to walk out. The theory is, if you just walk slowly, at a steady [ace, then they will swerve around you. Takes a bit of getting used to! It feels a little like a sucide attempt every time. Oh yeh, another brilliant thing is Bia Hoi (fresh beer). 2000 dong a glass... thats about mmmm, 7 of your english pence! Its genius.

Despite all these good things, it was in hanoi where i succumbed to tears... yes i miss, dave, my family, my friends... but guess what did it? First sunday of the footy season! So stupid! We were out having dinner, and they had the chelsea game on, when the arsenal score flicked across the bottom of the screen. I just wanted to be in the pub with my mates watching. failing that i wnated to call dave and hilary in celebration, but i didn't even have a phone. soyeh, i had a little sob. Thats not really vietnam's fault though, so a slight digression from my point... ok, back on track:

The next day was also brilliant. we had a hot tip that Lenin Park was the place to go first thing in A.M. (another early start! shocker!), and indeed it was.Bascially the whole of Hanoi is there, exercising. Old and young, makle and female, aerobics,badminton, tai chi, sword play, anything and everything! There was even a line of really old woemn just standing in a line massaging each other. We wandered around until we found a kind of stage area, and stopped to admire the various couples dancing there. We did not go unnoticed though - they spotted us, swooped in and soon enough we were dancing too! Sofia is some kindof dancing queen and was am popular partner, i however was AWFULand could barely pick up any of the step[s! This lovely old women took me under her wing though and attempted to teach me several different moves. Sadly, i did not improve, but bless her for trying!

So yes, it has its problems, but i did quite like hanoi! We were actually there for ages, as we used it as a base to go to Halong Bay and to sapa, but i'll talk about them in a minute... its my last night with a travelling compadre. Sofia and i go our seperate ways tomorrow (boo hoo!) so i'm on my own for just over week, back through Laos,. and then to bangkok and singapore to fly to oz. Thats a story formuch later though, but for now, i think its time to have a goodbye drink.Bye! xx

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