Hanoi

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Since my last outing where I was pickpocketed by a snake and got lost in a maze of confusing roads. Now in Hanoi I got lost again in a maze of confusing roads. The only thing I knew was hostel was near a church, but no one understood me when I spoke to them so I resorted to using sign language by crossing my arms in the symbol of the Crucifix and praying in front of people looking like a right idiot. No one understood me but eventually I stumbled upon it anyway.

Arriving in Hue a few days before I checked into my hotel handed the keys to reception and off I went in search for some noodle soup. Then when I wanted to come back I realised that I didn't know the name of the Hotel or where it was. Thankfully this time my navagation skills payed off and I found the hotel where I was staying. I said to myself always either take the keys or a card with the hotels name or road on it with you. Obviously I wasn't listening to myself because the next day I went on a boat trip and after getting dropped near the harbour to get on the boat when I got off the boat when the tour was over I still didn't kow the name of the Hotel or where it was. Thankfully my brain was for the first time in 9 months in gear, a low one at that, but just enough to get me back.

Before this I was tackling the desert roads of Mui Ne in a Russian 4 by 4 from the Soviet War and attempting to surf the sand dunes on a plastic board which was not as fun as it sounds cause when you have surfed to the bottom you have to run back up to the top as fast as you can because your feet are gradually burning from the hot sand.

After my great adventure down south I headed further up the coast and am now in the capital city confused about where to go and what to do next. I have become tired of moving so often so need to re energize myself and stay in one place for more than three days. The main reason is that my money is running low so my option is simple: live in a country in Asia for 6 months to a year and get someone to teach me how to teach for free so then I can teach them my native language, which I can't speak very well but I won't tell them that, and then charge them shit loads of money for it. What a deal I hear you say. Indeed it is. So its just a problem now of deciding which country go to. There are thousands of opportunities in asia for payed work teaching my native English language. No experience is necessary for many positions just a degree of any kind as full training is usually given. The best payed work is in Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong or Taiwan. The first three are some of the most expensive cities in the world to live in but it would be awesome to live there, Taiwan is listed 29th. Even though you save a lot of money cause they normally fly you out there for free and pay for your visas and stuff, the wisest thing to do is to turn up and have a look around for a job that suits you rather than sort it out before you fly and then find out its a crap contract and you get screwed over as this has happened to some people.

So thats the plan Batman just need to decide where. Any advice will be grateful.

I therefore won't be back till next year when I will be preparing myself for the mega journey half way around the world from London to Ulan Batar in Mongolia in a piece of shit car that won't be worth more than a bag of crisps.

Miss you all

This is Philip Panchenko reporting from inside bald fatman's internet cafe, Hanoi, Vietnam

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Photos

Mui Ne
I have lost a stone in the last eight months of travelling and I may look like I have just escaped out of a concentration camp. This is all I own, I don't even have any shoes.

Mui Ne
My favourite son Diddy Moi

Mui Ne
My other son, I send him out to work on the streets and take 50% of his wages. I wanted 70% but after half an hour of negociations he got me down to 50%.

Mui Ne
My Russian jeep I highjacked after breaking out of the concentration camp.

My best friend ever!!
His name is Bob. Say hello Bob.

My second best friend ever!!
Give him a fish and he will eat it, teach him how to fish and he will feed his whole family and have enough left to sell in order to drink himself blind at the weekends.

A car
The monk who set himself on fire to protest against the the countries discriminative policies on Buddism in 1963 was driven in this car.

The Man the Legend
Grand master Ho. So good, he named a city after himself.