Travelers Blues

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Train to Thailand:

Its been 2 months. 59 days. Since I've left snowy and cold Colorado. I lay on the top bunk of a train bed. Rocking and swaying, wondering if the 2 straps would actually stop me from falling off. But it's peaceful. I'm like a child in a car, letting the soothing motion of the vehicle put my ever so tired body to sleep. The rain is pitter pattering against the aluminum cart. I'm lost in thought...
Time. Time again. Time.
It's been 2 months. 59 days. Since I've left snowy and cold Colorado. Time, at times it feels as if I have left just the other day. I've kept in contact with my loved ones. I try my best to talk with my ma every day, but poor Wi-Fi seems to have other plans. She knows I'm safe and I make sure she knows when I won't be able to talk for days on end. She's my mother, and I choose not to worry her. The mind numbing social media keeps me up to date with friends and all the political bullshit happening back home. (shut up about the bathrooms and realize the government is trying to hide something far more important. Figure it out and get pissed, do something) It feels like I never left when I succumb to the addiction of scrolling the minutes away.
It's been 2 months. 59 days. Since I've left snowy and cold Colorado. Time, it feels as if time has gone by terribly slow. At moments when I think of everything I have seen and everything I have done, I feel as if I've been away for a long time, much longer then 2 months. A deep, strenuous pull starts at the bottom of my rice filled gut and claws it's way up to my throat, making it difficult to swallow. Then they all appear in my mind, everyone back home. An invisible heavy weight sits on my chest. I reject the tears that try to swell up, I reject the fact that maybe it's okay to cry on an old rickety train while others dream peaceful dreams. I refuse to cry, even if no one can see.
It's been 2 months. 59 days. Since I've left snowy and cold Colorado.

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